LazBro
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Post by LazBro on Mar 19, 2015 11:38:03 GMT -5
I am attending my one year-old nephew's birthday party on Sunday, and the party planning committee has requisitioned from me a family portion of guacamole. I have strong and not always popular opinions on guacamole, so I'm asking you people:
How do you like your guacamole?
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LazBro
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Post by LazBro on Mar 19, 2015 11:45:38 GMT -5
I believe that avocado is one of those ingredients best consumed au naturel (well, maybe a little salt) and so have long found guacamole to be a quick way to ruin a perfectly delicious ingredient. That said, it is a whole lot easier to scoop onto a chip, so I like the following two recipes:
The Gerard Butler
Hass avocado sliced into small chunks (not mashed), lime juice, garlic salt.
The Rich Uncle Pennybags
Hass avocado sliced and lightly mashed, crispy crumbled bacon, small diced shallots, minced garlic, lime juice, garlic salt.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2015 11:59:03 GMT -5
Avocado lightly mashed but still chunky, garlic, salt, lime juice, cilantro, and if I'm feeling fancy, a little freshly toasted and ground cumin seed. But more often than not, without.
Edit to add: I don't like when people make their guac spicy. Why not just make some spicy pico de gallo too???
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Post by pairesta on Mar 19, 2015 14:22:05 GMT -5
Mashed but still chunky avocado, salt, lots of lime, cilantro, maybe a few slivers of jalapeno or serrano, onion, garlic. Either powdered or real.
Best Guac I ever had was at Bayless's Topolobompo. Served with cucumber and radish instead of corn chips. We ate so much we were too full for our mains.
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Post by Liz n Dick on Mar 19, 2015 14:22:48 GMT -5
Hass avocado sort of half-mashed, half-chunky, garlic, salt, lime, cilantro, and yes, if it's the season I'll add some diced tomato. But that's only if there's a glorious tomato lying around that needs to be eaten.
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Post by pairesta on Mar 19, 2015 14:26:33 GMT -5
I was somewhere where their guac was mashed avocado. That's it. No lime or lemon, not even salt. It was another of those instances where I took a chance and actually complained to the manager, only to be told that nope, that's how they do it.
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Post by Liz n Dick on Mar 19, 2015 14:37:40 GMT -5
I was somewhere where their guac was mashed avocado. That's it. No lime or lemon, not even salt. It was another of those instances where I took a chance and actually complained to the manager, only to be told that nope, that's how they do it. My great-aunt lived in Scottsdale AZ, near a very old-skool resort that was considered swanky by all the midwestern transplants when they moved there in the late '70s and early '80s. That resort ended up choosing, it seemed, to cater to that clientele as time went on, so by the time I was out in that neck of the woods its restaurant was one that would only ever be favored by the blue-haired crowd. Anyway, my great-aunt loved to wax rhapsodic about this restaurant's fabulous guacamole, the likes of which she had never found anywhere else in all of the greater Phoenix area. And one of her proudest moments was, way back in the day, getting her son (who was working as busboy there) to inquire after the recipe. Being "the cook" of the family, she knew I'd want to hear it -- first you start with a whole bunch of hard-boiled eggs... |
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Post by Pedantic Editor Type on Mar 19, 2015 15:26:08 GMT -5
pairesta fun fact, the guacamole at Topolo is *identical* to the guac at Frontera and XOCO. So you can go to XOCO and get the same guacamole (with chips instead of veg, but still) for like $3 less. I realize the rest of the experience isn't quite the same, but. 
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LazBro
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Post by LazBro on Mar 19, 2015 15:29:40 GMT -5
I was somewhere where their guac was mashed avocado. That's it. No lime or lemon, not even salt. It was another of those instances where I took a chance and actually complained to the manager, only to be told that nope, that's how they do it. Man, even I add lime. Although that's less for flavor and more to stave off browning. |
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LazBro
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Post by LazBro on Mar 19, 2015 15:34:16 GMT -5
Additional notes: 1. I particularly hate making guacamole on command, because good ripe avocados are no guarantee ever. It becomes a whole game of "when and what do I buy?" Do I buy unripe fruits on Thursday and bag them, fingers crossed? Do I walk in Sunday morning hoping they've got ripe specimens? Argh! 2. They also asked me to make pico de gallo, which will result in maybe the fourth time ever that I have purchased the devil's parsley. |
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Post by Albert Fish Taco on Mar 19, 2015 16:05:32 GMT -5
Additional notes: 1. I particularly hate making guacamole on command, because good ripe avocados are no guarantee ever. It becomes a whole game of "when and what do I buy?" Do I buy unripe fruits on Thursday and bag them, fingers crossed? Do I walk in Sunday morning hoping they've got ripe specimens? Argh! 2. They also asked me to make pico de gallo, which will result in maybe the fourth time ever that I have purchased the devil's parsley. I love avocados, but hate having to play timing games with the ripeness. But one thing I've found to moderately expedite the ripening of a hard avocado is to put it in a brown paper bag for a couple of days. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2015 16:28:40 GMT -5
I was somewhere where their guac was mashed avocado. That's it. No lime or lemon, not even salt. It was another of those instances where I took a chance and actually complained to the manager, only to be told that nope, that's how they do it. My great-aunt lived in Scottsdale AZ, near a very old-skool resort that was considered swanky by all the midwestern transplants when they moved there in the late '70s and early '80s. That resort ended up choosing, it seemed, to cater to that clientele as time went on, so by the time I was out in that neck of the woods its restaurant was one that would only ever be favored by the blue-haired crowd. Anyway, my great-aunt loved to wax rhapsodic about this restaurant's fabulous guacamole, the likes of which she had never found anywhere else in all of the greater Phoenix area. And one of her proudest moments was, way back in the day, getting her son (who was working as busboy there) to inquire after the recipe. Being "the cook" of the family, she knew I'd want to hear it -- first you start with a whole bunch of hard-boiled eggs... I'm going to need to hear an end to this story, because I have no earthly idea what the next steps to that recipe could possibly be. I personally prefer sliced and mashed, but more lumpy as to outright chunky. Cilantro, red onion, lime juice, maybe a bit of heat it isn't present elsewhere on the table. In fact, had take out last night and ordered just such a guac with my ceviche (dinner) and tortilla soup (lunch).  |
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Paleu
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Post by Paleu on Mar 19, 2015 17:12:22 GMT -5
Additional notes: 1. I particularly hate making guacamole on command, because good ripe avocados are no guarantee ever. It becomes a whole game of "when and what do I buy?" Do I buy unripe fruits on Thursday and bag them, fingers crossed? Do I walk in Sunday morning hoping they've got ripe specimens? Argh! 2. They also asked me to make pico de gallo, which will result in maybe the fourth time ever that I have purchased the devil's parsley. I love avocados, but hate having to play timing games with the ripeness. But one thing I've found to moderately expedite the ripening of a hard avocado is to put it in a brown paper bag for a couple of days. I just discovered this myself, and can definitely vouch for it. I was a little shocked how perfect the avocados ended up, because you're just putting it into a fucking paper bag, but some magic is happening (and I don't care about whatever dumb science there is, leave that for the Science and Technology section). |
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Post by Albert Fish Taco on Mar 19, 2015 18:01:01 GMT -5
My guac is simple enough, but I like it better than any I've had in any restaurant or store.
Dice up avocado as best you're able to, add freshly squeezed lime juice, more salt than you think you'll need; mash/mix with big spoon as much as you're able to.
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Post by Liz n Dick on Mar 19, 2015 18:52:12 GMT -5
My great-aunt lived in Scottsdale AZ, near a very old-skool resort that was considered swanky by all the midwestern transplants when they moved there in the late '70s and early '80s. That resort ended up choosing, it seemed, to cater to that clientele as time went on, so by the time I was out in that neck of the woods its restaurant was one that would only ever be favored by the blue-haired crowd. Anyway, my great-aunt loved to wax rhapsodic about this restaurant's fabulous guacamole, the likes of which she had never found anywhere else in all of the greater Phoenix area. And one of her proudest moments was, way back in the day, getting her son (who was working as busboy there) to inquire after the recipe. Being "the cook" of the family, she knew I'd want to hear it -- first you start with a whole bunch of hard-boiled eggs... I'm going to need to hear an end to this story, because I have no earthly idea what the next steps to that recipe could possibly be. I personally prefer sliced and mashed, but more lumpy as to outright chunky. Cilantro, red onion, lime juice, maybe a bit of heat it isn't present elsewhere on the table. In fact, had take out last night and ordered just such a guac with my ceviche (dinner) and tortilla soup (lunch). God, I wish I could remember what else went into that "guacamole". I know there were copious quantities of canned black olives involved. Avocado may have been the fifth or sixth ingredient. |
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dＬᵒ
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Post by dＬᵒ on Mar 19, 2015 23:08:00 GMT -5
I'm going to need to hear an end to this story, because I have no earthly idea what the next steps to that recipe could possibly be. I personally prefer sliced and mashed, but more lumpy as to outright chunky. Cilantro, red onion, lime juice, maybe a bit of heat it isn't present elsewhere on the table. In fact, had take out last night and ordered just such a guac with my ceviche (dinner) and tortilla soup (lunch). God, I wish I could remember what else went into that "guacamole". I know there were copious quantities of canned black olives involved. Avocado may have been the fifth or sixth ingredient. So basically an egg salad with tree testicles. |
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Post by pairesta on Mar 20, 2015 8:23:10 GMT -5
I'm going to need to hear an end to this story, because I have no earthly idea what the next steps to that recipe could possibly be. I personally prefer sliced and mashed, but more lumpy as to outright chunky. Cilantro, red onion, lime juice, maybe a bit of heat it isn't present elsewhere on the table. In fact, had take out last night and ordered just such a guac with my ceviche (dinner) and tortilla soup (lunch). God, I wish I could remember what else went into that "guacamole". I know there were copious quantities of canned black olives involved. Avocado may have been the fifth or sixth ingredient. I'm betting mayo came into play there at some point. |
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Post by pairesta on Mar 20, 2015 8:26:46 GMT -5
Not necessarily for guac, but has anybody ever grilled avocados? Cut them in half, put them on the grill just long enough to sear them, then remove and slice them out of their skin. I do it for fajitas and it really adds something: they get more concentrated and meaty tasting themselves.
Though now I do wonder what they'd do for guacamole. Or smoking them even. Last fall when I did a barbecue meal I smoked a whole mess of jalaepnos and tomatillos, then froze them, and now whenever I make salsa verde I just get a baggie out of those to puree and oh lord is it magnificent.
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Post by Albert Fish Taco on Mar 20, 2015 8:31:04 GMT -5
God, I wish I could remember what else went into that "guacamole". I know there were copious quantities of canned black olives involved. Avocado may have been the fifth or sixth ingredient. I'm betting mayo came into play there at some point. Or worse yet ............... Miracle Whip  , since the place catered to Midwestern Oldies. |
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LazBro
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Post by LazBro on Mar 20, 2015 8:39:41 GMT -5
I'm betting mayo came into play there at some point. Or worse yet ............... Miracle Whip , since the place catered to Midwestern Oldies. My parents put Miracle Whip in their guacamole. I've, uh, confessed before* that I have a certain appreciation for the stuff, having grown up with it. Don't want it in my guac though. *In Badger's "when crappy is better" thread that apparently has fallen off completely, or at least any post about Miracle Whip has. I didn't realize that old posts got deleted after a time. How will I go back and read my own brilliant commentary from the beginning? The way it's meant to be experienced!
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Post by pairesta on Mar 20, 2015 8:47:27 GMT -5
Or worse yet ............... Miracle Whip , since the place catered to Midwestern Oldies. My parents put Miracle Whip in their guacamole. I've, uh, confessed before* that I have a certain appreciation for the stuff, having grown up with it. Don't want it in my guac though. *In Badger's "when crappy is better" thread that apparently has fallen off completely, or at least any post about Miracle Whip has. I didn't realize that old posts got deleted after a time. How will I go back and read my own brilliant commentary from the beginning? The way it's meant to be experienced!
It's still on the archive folder. Do a board search for "crappy". I too am a defender of Miracle Whip in some cases (midwestern roots myself, after all). Not here though obviously. |
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Post by Liz n Dick on Mar 20, 2015 9:00:24 GMT -5
Or worse yet ............... Miracle Whip , since the place catered to Midwestern Oldies. Well, if the original recipe didn't call for Miracle Whip we all know now how to improve upon it! Heh. ::barfs:: pairesta, you are a GENIUS with this whole "smoking jalapenos and tomatillos before freezing" notion. I fill up my freezer every year with roasted versions of them, but smoked? A whole new world is opening up to me. (Although the notion of a smoked avocado seems... suspect. Please report back if you try it.  ) |
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Smacks
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Post by Smacks on Mar 20, 2015 13:00:48 GMT -5
Have you ever encountered that grocery store "avacado dip"? I've seen people bring it to parties and have the nerve to say they brought guac. If someone brought that to my house I would promptly throw it in the garbage and risk the friendship.
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Post by pairesta on Mar 20, 2015 13:43:42 GMT -5
Have you ever encountered that grocery store "avacado dip"? I've seen people bring it to parties and have the nerve to say they brought guac. If someone brought that to my house I would promptly throw it in the garbage and risk the friendship. The fact that it stays green after opening is very disturbing to me. |
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dＬᵒ
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Post by dＬᵒ on Mar 21, 2015 2:35:18 GMT -5
Have you ever encountered that grocery store "avacado dip"? I've seen people bring it to parties and have the nerve to say they brought guac. If someone brought that to my house I would promptly throw it in the garbage and risk the friendship. The fact that it stays green after opening is very disturbing to me. I assume it's due to added vitamin C and citric acid. |
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Post by jerkheadface on Jun 2, 2015 19:50:03 GMT -5
Ooh, this is a touchy subject. I'd say that cilantro is necessary, but there are folks for whom cilantro ruins the whole deal. Same with tomato. I have two different recipes depending on how I'm feeling, one more traditional, the other a bit deconstructionist.
The traditional one consists of four Hass avocados, with one pit reserved (they keep the guac from browning, or so I've been told by my Mexican friends), the juice of one and a half limes, half of a white onion, roughly chopped, one serrano chile, seeded and chopped, and one jalapeño, chopped, unseeded. 1/4 cup chopped cilantro. If tomato is included, it should be de-seeded, and seasoned liberally with salt and allowed to seep its liquid before being added.
Non-traditional: Chop the half onion, 1/4 cup cilantro and 1/4 flat leaf parsley, 3 cloves of garlic, juice of one lime and one seeded jalapeño. Add to mortar and grind into a paste. Cube four Hass avocados, add to bowl and toss with onion/lime/herb paste.
Sometimes I will add roasted corn or toasted chopped pistachios to my traditional guac. Only if feeling saucy or dealing with certain people.
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LazBro
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Post by LazBro on Jun 3, 2015 8:00:26 GMT -5
Ooh, this is a touchy subject. I'd say that cilantro is necessary, but there are folks for whom cilantro ruins the whole deal. Same with tomato. I have two different recipes depending on how I'm feeling, one more traditional, the other a bit deconstructionist. The traditional one consists of four Hass avocados, with one pit reserved (they keep the guac from browning, or so I've been told by my Mexican friends), the juice of one and a half limes, half of a white onion, roughly chopped, one serrano chile, seeded and chopped, and one jalapeño, chopped, unseeded. 1/4 cup chopped cilantro. If tomato is included, it should be de-seeded, and seasoned liberally with salt and allowed to seep its liquid before being added. Non-traditional: Chop the half onion, 1/4 cup cilantro and 1/4 flat leaf parsley, 3 cloves of garlic, juice of one lime and one seeded jalapeño. Add to mortar and grind into a paste. Cube four Hass avocados, add to bowl and toss with onion/lime/herb paste. Sometimes I will add roasted corn or toasted chopped pistachios to my traditional guac. Only if feeling saucy or dealing with certain people. I think your non-traditional version sounds really interesting, minus the cilantro which I will not eat. |
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Post by jerkheadface on Jun 3, 2015 11:25:14 GMT -5
Ooh, this is a touchy subject. I'd say that cilantro is necessary, but there are folks for whom cilantro ruins the whole deal. Same with tomato. I have two different recipes depending on how I'm feeling, one more traditional, the other a bit deconstructionist. The traditional one consists of four Hass avocados, with one pit reserved (they keep the guac from browning, or so I've been told by my Mexican friends), the juice of one and a half limes, half of a white onion, roughly chopped, one serrano chile, seeded and chopped, and one jalapeño, chopped, unseeded. 1/4 cup chopped cilantro. If tomato is included, it should be de-seeded, and seasoned liberally with salt and allowed to seep its liquid before being added. Non-traditional: Chop the half onion, 1/4 cup cilantro and 1/4 flat leaf parsley, 3 cloves of garlic, juice of one lime and one seeded jalapeño. Add to mortar and grind into a paste. Cube four Hass avocados, add to bowl and toss with onion/lime/herb paste. Sometimes I will add roasted corn or toasted chopped pistachios to my traditional guac. Only if feeling saucy or dealing with certain people. I think your non-traditional version sounds really interesting, minus the cilantro which I will not eat. I can't remember where the recipe came from, I just know it was some website which is lost to eternity. The guac is barely guac and more like dressed avocado, but it is clean-tasting and delicious. Catching the avocado at the perfect ripeness is key here. |
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Post by ganews on Jun 12, 2015 8:23:59 GMT -5
I will eat guacamole of nearly any kind (though based on reading the thread, I add the caveat that it must be called "guacamole"). But then, I have previously found that sliced avocado sprinkled with soy sauce was a good lunch companion.
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Post by pairesta on Jun 14, 2015 22:16:45 GMT -5
I will eat guacamole of nearly any kind (though based on reading the thread, I add the caveat that it must be called "guacamole"). But then, I have previously found that sliced avocado sprinkled with soy sauce was a good lunch companion. One of my favorite recipes in Fuschia Dunlop's Every Grain of Rice cookbook is sliced avocado laid atop sliced soft tofu, with a watered down soy sauce poured over it. That's it. |
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, since the place catered to Midwestern Oldies.
)
