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Post by Liz n Dick on Aug 17, 2016 9:29:04 GMT -5
My notes from Tuesday's Tivo dragnet: -- We finally got to see what our TV's guide listed as "Horse". I normally avoid the equestrian stuff, but Boomer loves it, so we were pleased to finally find some that wasn't dressage. (Sadly, it didn't turn out to be Olympics-grade H-O-R-S-E, which would have been hilarious.) Everyone participating was extravagantly wealthy, the horses all cost more than my house, but at least no one died (that we saw). They talked about a variety of riders who were disqualified for various acts of animal cruelty (one was "too aggressive with the whip" and another's horse "showed signs of spur marks"), but really casually, as if that happens all the time. Ugh. What a shitty sport. The highlight was the dude who came to equestrian later in life after converting from.... ...BMX. !!!!!! (Aside: we all shrieked with delight during the opening ceremonies when various athletes were identified as being there for BMX. The BMX Bandit rides again!) -- The hunky, hunky canoe sprint final was caught in our various recordings, and it remains comically hunky. My only complaint is that there wasn't more of it. Also, we have inexplicably become attached to cheering for Italy in everything (probably because we like talking in really bad Italian accents), and the Italian canoer finished about 35 minutes after everyone else. So that was sorta pathetic. We really know how to pick 'em. The broadcast chased that race with a women's two-person kayak open-water sprint that was AMAZING. The teams of paddlers rowed in perfect unison like those whimsical yard-ornament whirligigs, going so fast and so steadily in their kayaks that it looked like they all had power motors. And the builds on these women! I'm no hashtagger, but seriously, #upperbodygoals. -- Lots of hurdles in the track & field, which is inspiring me to develop, in time for the Tokyo games, a new technique for hurdle races. I call it "The Kool-Aid Man Technique", and it's exactly what it sounds like. You just burst through all the hurdles while shouting "OH YEAH!" I think, if done properly, it will save a lot of time. One guy in one of the 110m semi-final heats tried an off-brand version of the technique, with disastrous results. I implore all athletes considering switching to this method to pay the FULL price to receive my officially endorsed training for it, so they can all be assured of doing it correctly. -- I will never get enough of seeing Simone Biles do her floor routine. It is ridiculous how spectacular her tumbling passes are. (And yes, as per discussion yesterday, also ridiculous that women have to "choreograph" their floor routines but men just get to do a bunch of tumbling. I think, to make things more fair, they should make the men do dance shit, too! Male figure skaters have to, right? ) I was delighted that the Chinese woman did her routine to my favorite song for stationary bike workouts, because it made me want to pedal harder while she was flipping. When the Swiss woman biffed her first tumbling pass, Boomer remarked that she was very impressed how the gymnasts who fuck up don't just stop and walk off. I got all snippy that you don't get to be a world-class gymnast by quitting every time you get something wrong, at which point the Swiss woman fantastically screwed up another tumbling pass, sagged, and then made a huge production of very obviously Going Through The Motions for the rest of the arm-waving "dance" part right in front of the judges. So... I was wrong. There's a first time for everything! -- We stayed up way past our bedtimes for the delightfully satisfying women's beach volleyball. Along with the lingering Michael Phelps fatigue from London, I had a big case of "ENOUGH" with Kerri Walsh Jennings, too. GO BRAZIL! It was a pretty fun match, and I think the best part was when, at the very end, Ted Robinson had to walk back his earlier statement that it was a huuuuuge upset. "Okay, it's not technically an upset with the number two seed beats the number three seed," he said. Then added, " But we all know the truth." Oh, NBC's Ameri-centrism. Don't ever change.
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Post by Liz n Dick on Aug 17, 2016 9:30:12 GMT -5
OMG, WHY DID THEY LET THIS DIE?
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Post by ganews on Aug 17, 2016 9:42:55 GMT -5
Every time in real life I have suggested that men's floor routine gymnastics is better than women's because it's all-business-no-dancing I have been roundly denounced.
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Post by Liz n Dick on Aug 17, 2016 10:15:42 GMT -5
Every time in real life I have suggested that men's floor routine gymnastics is better than women's because it's all-business-no-dancing I have been roundly denounced. It is a BILLION times better for being all business, no dancing. You're right, and don't ever let anyone try to convince you otherwise! This is part of why I like Biles' and Raisman's routines so much. I mean, yes, still with the dumb choreography, but their tumbling passes are so humongous, and they do so many of them, that they end up creeping much closer to an all-business ideal than any women's gymnastics I've seen before. Of course, the men all do those weird Frankenstein's Monster lurching walks between their elements, which make me kind of wonder if maybe there isn't a middle ground that could be struck. Either let the athletes just walk from Point A to Point B to do their feats of gymnastical brilliance, or make them all shimmy like Biles or flap their arms around like Raisman. That goose-stepping sideways stride the men do is lame!
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Post by Not a real doctor on Aug 17, 2016 10:38:12 GMT -5
My notes from Tuesday's Tivo dragnet: ...BMX. !!!!!! (Aside: we all shrieked with delight during the opening ceremonies when various athletes were identified as being there for BMX. The BMX Bandit rides again!) WHAT!!!! THIS IS A THING AND I DIDN'T KNOW! All those hours, no, DAYS! of watching Rad* as a child can finally be put to use! *Related, anyone know where I can get a DVD copy or download of the 1986 BMX film Rad starring Lori Loughlin and Talia Shire?
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dLᵒ
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Post by dLᵒ on Aug 17, 2016 21:40:11 GMT -5
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Post by Liz n Dick on Aug 18, 2016 9:13:32 GMT -5
I'm shocked to find out that there isn't a steady demand for single-purpose sports facilities like "Olympic Kayaking Course".
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Post by Pedantic Editor Type on Aug 18, 2016 9:25:00 GMT -5
Usain Bolt and Andre De Grasse (from Canada) were hilarious last night in the 200M semifinal. If you didn't see it, Bolt expected De Grasse to slow down a little as he approached the finish line (most people do) but he didn't, and they were nearly even, but were smiling and joking with each other as they crossed. Like, they're having a whole conversation and the two guys right behind them looked like they were gonna die. Pictures/short article here time.com/4456975/2016-rio-olympics-usain-bolt-de-grasse-smile/ (Bolt seemed mildly annoyed that De Grasse pushed him so hard in the semi, but there also seemed to be genuine fun/affection between them.)
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Post by Liz n Dick on Aug 18, 2016 9:26:20 GMT -5
Okay, the round-up from Wednesday's hodge-podge of Olympic tivoing: -- We specifically tivoed the blocks on NBC's satellite channels listing team handball events (I want to say these were medal games? Or at least semi-finals?), and got not a single minute of team handball in our recordings. Fuck you, NBC! Or fuck you, whoever did the TV listings on our DirecTV guide! -- In lieu of team handball we did get to see a heat of a two-man kayak race, which, while 57 minutes shorter than a team handball match, was 57 times hunkier. Also, Italy didn't embarrass itself, so we got to celebrate with a hearty chorus of "That's-a spicy meatball!" because we're culturally sensitive. -- Our recordings somehow managed to snag the gymnastics gala twice. Normally I'd be violently outraged that NBC was wasting precious air time on something as insultingly dumb as the gymnastics gala, but OH MY GOD DID YOU GUYS SEE THE ACRO GYMNASTICS AND THE TUMBLING? ? That was the coolest, craziest, most "What the FUCK? How is that even POSSIBLE?" gymnastics stuff I've ever seen. MY RESPONSE NEEDS TO BE IN ALLCAPS BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVED IT. They also showed some demo rhythmic gymnastics bullshit, which seemed to exist there solely to outrage viewers that rhythmic gymnastics is an Olympic sport and acrobatic gymnastics and tumbling are not. -- There were lots of women in the hurdling events trying my patented Kool-Aid Man Technique, and failing. Don't worry, though. I'll have that system perfected in time for Tokyo. -- The American sweep of the 100m hurdles was SO adorable. I loved how excited the first- and second-place women were when they realized their teammate had won the bronze. -- I can't remember what else we watched. Some belly flops in the women's platform diving, I guess (not a good night to be that "mysterious" North Korean woman), and Bob Costas and Matt Lauer trying not to crack up while having a serious discussion of the increasingly ridiculous Ryan Lochte story. The Olympics definitely feel like they're winding down.
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Post by Pedantic Editor Type on Aug 18, 2016 9:27:25 GMT -5
-- The American sweep of the 100m hurdles was SO adorable. I loved how excited the first- and second-place women were when they realized their teammate had won the bronze. That was so cute! Loved their joy for their teammate.
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Post by Liz n Dick on Aug 18, 2016 9:28:29 GMT -5
Usain Bolt and Andre De Grasse (from Canada) were hilarious last night in the 200M semifinal. If you didn't see it, Bolt expected De Grasse to slow down a little as he approached the finish line (most people do) but he didn't, and they were nearly even, but were smiling and joking with each other as they crossed. Like, they're having a whole conversation and the two guys right behind them looked like they were gonna die. Pictures/short article here time.com/4456975/2016-rio-olympics-usain-bolt-de-grasse-smile/ (Bolt seemed mildly annoyed that De Grasse pushed him so hard in the semi, but there also seemed to be genuine fun/affection between them.) OMG, how could I have forgotten that? That was SO delightful. And it sort of cracked me up, then, to see Gatlin lose his semi-final because he was looking around too soon. Justin Gatlin, you are no Usain Bolt!
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Post by ganews on Aug 18, 2016 11:11:08 GMT -5
Okay, the round-up from Wednesday's hodge-podge of Olympic tivoing: I find these write-ups preferable to watching four hours of prime-time coverage.
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Post by ComradePig on Aug 18, 2016 11:38:40 GMT -5
More like Lyin' Lochte amirite
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Post by MarkInTexas on Aug 18, 2016 12:46:57 GMT -5
More like Lyin' Lochte amirite It takes talent to turn not wanting to tell your mom that you got into a drunken fight into an international incident with people being pulled off of planes. Remember when the biggest out of the pool swimming scandal involved Michael Phelps being photographed holding a bong? Another thing...NBC showed an interview with Lochte last week that had been filmed at Lochte's home before the Olympics. Lochte actually managed to come across as someone who had finally grown up a bit (which, given that the guy is 32, seems a tad late). So much for that.
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Post by Liz n Dick on Aug 18, 2016 12:49:07 GMT -5
More like Lyin' Lochte amirite This story is becoming the gift that keeps on giving.
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Post by Nudeviking on Aug 18, 2016 16:13:26 GMT -5
I am very satisfied with the Olympics coverage in my neck of the woods and love that though they are airing everything live they still have the common sense to air the weirdo sports on some tertiary cable channel in the middle of the night (local time) for insomniacs and people with babies. Last night's 1:00 am feeding Olympic event: Team Synchronized Swimming. I have no idea how this is a sport or how anyone in the stadium watching it live can tell what the hell is going on for the bulk of it. At home we were privy to underwater action as well as the above water splashing about that I think those in attendance missed out on everything but the splashing.
Italy's team did some delightfully quirky robot thing and I pondered how the ladies removed their makeup since it did not smear in the least during the vigorous splashing about.
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Post by Return of the Thin Olive Duke on Aug 19, 2016 18:56:05 GMT -5
What did Gabby Douglas do to demonstrate that she hates America?
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Post by Ben Grimm on Aug 19, 2016 20:30:06 GMT -5
What did Gabby Douglas do to demonstrate that she hates America? If she loves America so much, why isn't she white?
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Post by Lt. Broccoli on Aug 20, 2016 5:42:12 GMT -5
What did Gabby Douglas do to demonstrate that she hates America? She didn't wear a tiny flag pin on her lapel. Actually it is even more stupid, she didn't put her hand over her heart while the anthem played. Your country is fucking weird, man.
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Post by Return of the Thin Olive Duke on Aug 20, 2016 9:09:58 GMT -5
What did Gabby Douglas do to demonstrate that she hates America? She didn't wear a tiny flag pin on her lapel. Actually it is even more stupid, she didn't put her hand over her heart while the anthem played. Your country is fucking weird, man. Oh, fuck her then. What do Canadians do?
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Post by Lt. Broccoli on Aug 20, 2016 18:11:03 GMT -5
She didn't wear a tiny flag pin on her lapel. Actually it is even more stupid, she didn't put her hand over her heart while the anthem played. Your country is fucking weird, man. Oh, fuck her then. What do Canadians do? Whatever we want, because we live in a free country.
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Post by Desert Dweller on Aug 20, 2016 21:10:27 GMT -5
Every time in real life I have suggested that men's floor routine gymnastics is better than women's because it's all-business-no-dancing I have been roundly denounced. No, Men's Floor is definitely better than Women's Floor. But, Simone Biles can tumble just as good as most male gymnasts*. I particularly loved when during the live stream of some men's event, Jonathan Horton talked about how he was embarrassed to work out with Simone Biles because she could do a better double-double than he could. LOL To reference a question earlier, yes! The gymnasts aren't actually allowed to just catch their breath. It isn't just a women's thing. The men aren't either! They get deducted if they stand motionless for more than a couple seconds. So, the women do these ridiculous flail-y dance moves, while the men just wave their arms up and down. Seriously. * Japan's Kenzo Shirai could probably still beat her. He does the most ridiculous quadruple twist on the floor. It is insane. I wish he would have done better in the Floor final. I wanted to see him win. He does a QUAD TWIST. I saw him do an amazing one in the Team Final: www.nbcolympics.com/video/gymnastics-team-final-japans-kenzo-shirai-floorAlso, I wanted to mention that I loved Japan's strategy in that team final. Only ahead of Russia by a couple tenths going into the last rotation. Japan and Russia are both on the Floor. Japan goes first. So, they have Shirai go up first and lay down a completely demoralizing score of 16.133. Ha ha ha ha, Russia. Kato got a 15.4, then Uchimura got a 15.6. By that point there was utterly no way for Russia to catch them. So, by the time Russia even started competing they could only hope for silver. Ha! Well done, Japan.
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Post by Nudeviking on Aug 20, 2016 22:57:04 GMT -5
You can tell it's getting towards the end when they start airing kayaking and rhythmic gymnastics in prime time on network television, which, along with women's golf, is what I watched last night. I was totally about the look of the Ukrainian Men's Duo Kayak 1000m Sprint team. PURE STYLE THESE TWO! They might have won a bronze medal in kayaking but they won a gold for fashion sense.
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Post by Jimmy James on Aug 21, 2016 13:04:19 GMT -5
That 1500m final was bizarre- finishing a good 12 s slower than the semifinal heats. 5000m guys were going faster than their first two laps.
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Post by Not a real doctor on Aug 21, 2016 16:33:47 GMT -5
She didn't wear a tiny flag pin on her lapel. Actually it is even more stupid, she didn't put her hand over her heart while the anthem played. Your country is fucking weird, man. Oh, fuck her then. What do Canadians do? Thought it over for a couple days, still can't tell if serious or not.
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Post by Return of the Thin Olive Duke on Aug 21, 2016 16:36:16 GMT -5
Oh, fuck her then. What do Canadians do? Thought it over for a couple days, still can't tell if serious or not. Serious. Nobody just blows off protocol when they get to that position. If she didn't bother to put her hand over her heart, she was sending a message.
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Post by Not a real doctor on Aug 21, 2016 16:51:35 GMT -5
Thought it over for a couple days, still can't tell if serious or not. Serious. Nobody just blows off protocol when they get to that position. If she didn't bother to put her hand over her heart, she was sending a message. Yeaaahhhh, I'm gonna need a citation on hand over the heart being any sort of actual protocol during the national anthem. Edit, well I'll be damned, this made me do some looking of my own. Guess all those times I merely stood at attention during the anthem I was sending a message also. Maybe someone can help me figure out what that message was?
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Dellarigg
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Post by Dellarigg on Aug 21, 2016 17:15:34 GMT -5
Whenever I hear our National Anthem, I tut and make a wanking gesture at the source of it. My message is unambiguous.
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Post by Ice Cream Planet on Aug 21, 2016 17:18:20 GMT -5
Whenever I hear our National Anthem, I tut and make a wanking gesture at the source of it. My message is unambiguous. Semi-related: A friend just posted on Facebook, 'Thanks Mo Farah for being one of the very few non-embarrassing things Britain can claim this year.'
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Dellarigg
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Post by Dellarigg on Aug 21, 2016 17:19:58 GMT -5
Whenever I hear our National Anthem, I tut and make a wanking gesture at the source of it. My message is unambiguous. Semi-related: A friend just posted on Facebook, 'Thanks Mo Farah for being one of the very few non-embarrassing things Britain can claim this year.' Upvoted, despite not giving a shit or particularly agreeing with the facebook analysis.
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