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Post by Dr. Rumak on Jun 21, 2023 19:42:11 GMT -5
I hate elevators so much that I will take steps to avoid them.
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Ben Grimm
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Post by Ben Grimm on Jun 22, 2023 5:45:08 GMT -5
I hate elevators so much that I will take steps to avoid them. You'll just do anything to try to get a rise out of people.
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Gumbercules
AV Clubber
Get out of my dreams, and into my van
Posts: 2,987
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Post by Gumbercules on Jun 23, 2023 9:33:37 GMT -5
Did you hear about the jacked necromancer? I heard he can dead lift up to 300 lbs.
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Gumbercules
AV Clubber
Get out of my dreams, and into my van
Posts: 2,987
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Post by Gumbercules on Jun 23, 2023 9:44:51 GMT -5
I was walking down the street the other day and came upon a fork in the road. I now consider myself a tine traveler.
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Post by Celebith on Jun 23, 2023 9:59:07 GMT -5
Barbie would probably have kids if Ken didn't come in a different box.
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Post by Gamblin' Telly on Jul 3, 2023 6:32:13 GMT -5
What did Yoda say when he first saw Star Wars in 1080p?
HDMI!
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Jul 3, 2023 7:43:02 GMT -5
Not amused....
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,510
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Post by Dellarigg on Jul 3, 2023 9:54:18 GMT -5
Apparently Sean Connery's going to Wimbledon tomorrow. Should be there by tennish.
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Post by Gamblin' Telly on Jul 6, 2023 2:36:10 GMT -5
I threw a chinese man down the stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Jul 8, 2023 6:21:03 GMT -5
I threw a chinese man down the stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Jul 9, 2023 20:18:28 GMT -5
Unbelievable. It's July 9th, and I still have neighbors shooting off fireworks. One of them nearly set my Christmas decorations on fire.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,510
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Post by Dellarigg on Jul 12, 2023 16:46:57 GMT -5
I dropped the bag of Scrabble tiles, and the letters T, R, S, I, D, A, S and E fell out. This could spell disaster.
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Ben Grimm
TI Forumite
Posts: 7,408
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Post by Ben Grimm on Jul 16, 2023 14:13:49 GMT -5
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Post by Gamblin' Telly on Jul 17, 2023 8:01:41 GMT -5
My first football match was a lot like my first time having sex. I was bloody and bruised but at least my Dad came.
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LazBro
Prolific Poster
Posts: 10,042
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Post by LazBro on Jul 17, 2023 8:19:29 GMT -5
My first football match was a lot like my first time having sex. I was bloody and bruised but at least my Dad came. Buns isn't gonna like this one.
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Post by Gamblin' Telly on Jul 17, 2023 8:35:08 GMT -5
My first football match was a lot like my first time having sex. I was bloody and bruised but at least my Dad came. Buns isn't gonna like this one. Well neither did I!
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Post by Prole Hole on Jul 17, 2023 11:32:39 GMT -5
Did you know the rungs on a ladder have got further apart because people have been getting taller? Apparently it's due to climb-it change.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Jul 20, 2023 13:44:30 GMT -5
I'm telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.
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Gumbercules
AV Clubber
Get out of my dreams, and into my van
Posts: 2,987
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Post by Gumbercules on Jul 25, 2023 12:58:00 GMT -5
Two jokes I did not come up with: 1. I took my kid to the zoo and all they had was this little dog. It was a Shih Tzu.
2. A small child said to me "I'm named after my grandfather." I replied "Oh? What's your name?" "Grandpa" the child said.
A joke I did come up with: Why did the hippopotamus fail med school? He couldn't find the hippocampus.
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Ben Grimm
TI Forumite
Posts: 7,408
Member is Online
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Post by Ben Grimm on Jul 25, 2023 13:12:27 GMT -5
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Elephino
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Jul 29, 2023 21:46:11 GMT -5
So many people are lined up to see the latest Margot Robbie film. Which is understandable, because summer is... Barbie queue season.
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Jul 31, 2023 5:52:12 GMT -5
It's against the law to laugh too loud in Hawaii. You're only allowed a low ha.
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Jul 31, 2023 5:55:06 GMT -5
Maybe for the best that I CW this one. It's suicide joke, albeit a very silly one. The Wall's ice cream factory was closed last night after a man was found dead, covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands. Police reckon he topped himself.
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Post by nowimnothing on Aug 3, 2023 7:20:10 GMT -5
What is 6.9?
A good time ruined by a period.
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Post by MrsLangdonAlger on Aug 3, 2023 12:50:37 GMT -5
What is 6.9? A good time ruined by a period. Not if you've got a diva cup or similar!
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Gumbercules
AV Clubber
Get out of my dreams, and into my van
Posts: 2,987
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Post by Gumbercules on Aug 10, 2023 6:43:20 GMT -5
It was my first time attending a yoga class yesterday. We were trying the Bound Angle Pose and I heard something crack. The instructor heard it and asked if I was hurt. I replied weird flex but okay.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Aug 15, 2023 13:51:32 GMT -5
NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to aliens. It's code name is Apollo G.
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Crash Test Dumbass
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ffc what now
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Gender (additional): mostly snacks
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Aug 18, 2023 12:34:34 GMT -5
What's the difference between a well dressed unicyclist and a poorly dressed bicyclist?
A tire.
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Aug 18, 2023 13:27:43 GMT -5
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,510
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Post by Dellarigg on Aug 20, 2023 10:48:42 GMT -5
The man who invented torn jeans has died. RIP.
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