Vacations Thread III: Return of the Vacations

Prague and Budapest were the first European cities I ever visited. I'd definitely like to go back, but I'm trying to stay within a 4-5 hour train ride from Hamburg, since I'd need to be there mid-week.

My friend and I are supposed to go on a week trip in August. I reeeeeeeaaaally want to go to Europe to exploit the euro collapse, but airfares are so darn steep.

Travelogue

Keep in mind this is all Varadero/some Havana based… YMMV in Holguin or Santa Maria or wherever you are. It’s also a bit All-inclusive focused. I also preface this saying that I’ve backpacked all over the world and hosteled most of it, I’m not someone who expects to be pampered non stop in a developing country:



The Rules:

Like many Communist/Dictatorships (or countries not that far removed from being so) there is at times a very FIRM insistence on the rules, a couple of examples:


-While waiting in line for customs (forever, our flight arrived late to an already overcrowded slot) a guy cut out to go pee, when trying to return to his family he ducked under the guide rope (it was literally just a short guide rope into a full free for all lineup hall) and was immediately accosted by customs/airport/something staff dressed like nurses. They screamed at him, pulled him back under, lectured at him in Spanish for about a minute and sent him back the long way.


-The customs desk only permits one adult to come up with any children but doesn't say this in any sort of demonstrative way. This will not stop the ultra bitchy customs ladies from acting like you're a moron and yelling at you if you don't follow the policy.

-Actually the bitchy customs ladies will yell at you about something. They will also mumble in a monotone voice inaudible over the background babble most of the time then get angry when you didn't hear what they say

-While waiting in line at the bank you can’t really talk or you will get an angry remonstration from the security guards. Banking is serious business!



General:

-Cuban convertible pesos are a closed currency meaning you have to buy the money once you arrive in country. It is pegged at the USD value though converting USD carries a surcharge (ATM at least.)There are also regular Cuban pesos which you will never see.


-There are NO money exchanges other than the bank/hotel/airport. This is something that absolutely will have to change once Americans start visiting based on my experiences.


-Apparently the best rates for money changing are in the airport, unfortunately the desk is in the departure hall and is therefore easy to miss or not have time for. Restaurants and some businesses will take credit cards but this will generally take forever and may include surcharges, the blanket 15% surcharge that many people tell you exists is actually bunk though if your card is issued outside the US (and probably inside as well before much longer.)


-The bank was one of the most ridiculous things. It’s a tiny building, security guards block the door and let people in a trickle at a time. As mentioned you cannot talk once inside. You will require your passport to change money and if you are changing cash the bills need to be pretty much pristine or they may reject them. In Varadero there is a bank machine outside but it was only functioning sporadically. The whole process took a solid hour and a half for us. The security guard offered to buy my Angels hat at least 3x.


-The moment you have changed money set aside your 25CUC per person airport departure tax and keep it with your passport as you really don’t want to be scrambling for it once back at the airport. Also don’t lose the other half of your immigration card or they’ll want an extra 20CUC.


-My advice would be to bring a few hundred bucks, keep it in your room safe and take out money on your credit card at the bank/bank ATM saving your actual home currency in case of emergencies. That way you don’t overconvert but also don’t have to go to the bank again if something crops up and you need an extra 40CUC before leaving.


--Change money at your hotel only as a last resort as the rates are terrible.


-Avoid the local bus service as it runs nowhere near as often as the locals claim. Wasted an hour waiting for one once then just walked from then on.



Arriving:

-Usual hucksters at the airport. If you have a package just get on your bus (or if you have a few minutes change some money in the departure hall)

-Have a couple of small bills even if it’s your home currency for tips that first night. Note that USD are a pain in the ass as they take an extra conversion hit (though this may disappear in the next 6 months)



At the hotel:

-When booking mentally subtract at least 1 star from the posted rating. Were I to go again I wouldn’t stay at anything under what Sunwing or Signature call a 4star in Varadero.


-If you’re in Varadero be aware that the farther out the peninsula you are the farther it is to walk into town/the more money you’ll be paying for cab fare. Not as big a deal during the day but I imagine after a late dinner in town (and you will want to be off resort to eat at least once) they will no doubt soak you for a trip all the way to the end. That said most of the cabs are amazing old American cars.


-Tip generously the first day if you want good service for your stay. This is seriously way more of a thing than in most latin America/carribbean stays I’ve had. We had no cash the first day so left her basically 50cents then followed it up with a bill the next day and suddenly had towel swans on our bed etc.


-Ditto for the bartenders, chances are the same guy/gal will be on hand at your favourite bar most of the stay, give them a decent tip at some point and your service will be great the rest of the stay.


-We brought some “gifts” as most Canadians tend to, some were great, some we couldn’t really find a graceful way to use as thank yous.



Food in Cuba (or… How I actually lost weight on an all inclusive vacation):

-The food in general is terrible. Bland, unappetizing and sometimes of questionable quality. I got a quick glance at the buffet at one of the higher end hotels and there was more variety but similar looking quality. Our hotel only had one a la carte option. I never went but other guests sad it was basically the buffet with a bit more care on presentation. Basically expect today’s dinner to be on the next day’s breakfast and lunch buffet. You’re always best off getting the fresh made options (pasta/omelette bar) and don’t be afraid to ask for things as they sometimes have things hidden behind the counter.


-Raid a wendy’s or something and bring a bag of salt/pepper/vinegar/mustard whatever packets. I’d recommend hot sauce too personally.


-If you’re all inclusive do yourself a favour and eat in town a few times. The restaurants aren’t anything glorious but after a few days on the buffet it’ll feel like The French Laundry. Really it’s just lovely to have a cook who isn’t rationing every micron of garlic. If you’re in Varadero I recommend the Ranchero I believe it’s called at the east end of town. Wherever you go have a mojito, it’ll be way better than on resort.


-All of the restaurants/bars appear to be owned by the same entity (I’m guessing the varadero tourism board) but do vary in quality. Expect to wait forever for your bill once you’re done eating… the number of times we could have dined and dashed after all wait staff disappeared for 20 minutes was hilarious.


-Bring some form of insulated mug/cup for each family member to save on trips to the bar if you’re comfy on the beach/around the pool. This of course goes for any resort.


-Any Cuban shop you see will be devoid of much of interest. Do yourselves a favour and bring some snack food that travels well (we had a few tubes of pringles and some m&m’s and wished we’d brought more.)



Havana/Gifting:

-Havana is an amazing city with a ton to see. Both the colonial era district and the later sugar/tobacco baron boomtown days sections have some really great architecture and interesting history. A ton has been done in the last few years to start fixing some of the crumbling older era buildings and it really shows. It’s well worth the day trip, even on one of the big busses and I think if I go to Cuba again I’ll do one of the split 3 days in Havana/4 days at the beach trips.


-Unfortunately the gift thing has reached the stage where they know many visitors have crap/cash and if you’re on any sort of organized tour you will be begged from mercilessly, especially if you are seen to be a mark. Every woman has 3 starving or sick children etc etc, you know the drill if you’ve ever been to a developing country. Unfortunately it’s gotten pretty ridiculous in Cuba, particularly we found in the museums where the staff has roped off a bunch of the rooms, but when you walk by someone will usher you in as though you’re being given a special treat only to start hitting you for cash/gifts/candy the moment you accept. The street vendors/characturists etc are pretty bad as well, one guy repeatedly calling my mother big-boobie lady and upsetting her just about got clocked.


-Something my mother was saying was considerably worse in the 5 years since she was last in Cuba was the various women following tour groups around begging for their sick children. Having friends who have worked in Cuba (and of course having watched scam artists around the world) these people in particular reeked of bullshit. Cuba has a pretty great medical system, especially for that part of the world, as well as mandatory education to the age of 18. You may not be able to buy an aspirin at the corner store but if something is seriously wrong with your child they have pretty first class care at their disposal. As is the general rule if you want to give toys or whatnot to the poorer children the best way to do so is to give them to a school or church while there.

For the more timid, like my mother, this can be really unpleasant but generally they’ll go away if you ignore them and if you’re forceful about whatever scam they’re trying to pull they’ll back off. The impression is very much that causing a problem with a tourist is a big no no since Cuba is focusing hard on tourism these days. We only gave gift tips to people who gave us services or who were particularly nice.


I don’t want to give a bad impression here. As a general rule the Cuban people were friendly, welcoming and a ton of fun to hang out with when we did. The begging really wasn’t a thing other than when you were on a route that people clearly knew was a standard tourgroup path. Walking around on our own in Varadero and Havana we never really ran into it to any great extent. I think if I was in Varadero again I’d try to find a private tour guide or just rent a car(though that has other problems again)





More Positive notes:

-The people are super friendly, most people in the touristy areas know enough English for you to get by but making the effort to know the basic in Spanish is of course appreciated.


-I really never felt unsafe there. Walking back to the hotel in the dark was never an issue no matter where I went.


-The beaches are gorgeous, the only bad part really is my hotel was crumbling and hadn’t fixed their palapas in eons. Actually the worst part of the beaches is the fucking tourists leaving cigarette butts and other crap everywhere. Particularly the fucking quebecois. According to my friend who did aid work there quebecois has become a slang term for slob many places there. (i.e. clean your room, it looks like someone from Quebec lives there.)


-Weather was great, you get some serious wind on occasion but it was actually perfect to keep us cool on the hot days.


-There are a couple of fun little bars in Varadero, the beatles bar in particular had a great band the night we were there and $3 mojitos. I literally never saw anyone go into the ‘disco’ at our hotel but ymmv at a bigger hotel with a younger crowd.


-Amazing rum, brought back our full amount and a lot is already gone. Aged Havana club and an aged one made in the old Bacardi factories that they ran away from.


-If you’re in Varadero and like to scuba dive I know a really good guy who will take you out on a small group tour.


-There are some great artists there, particularly if you go off the beaten path a bit or find someone actually painting and let them know you don't want the same scene of an old ford on a havana street that everyone seems to sell.



-Seeing all the old american cars was amazing. I imagine that's something that will disappear quickly once the americans get full access though

Very cool HDB.  Do you have a Google Map or something of your actual route?

Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I'm saving all your advice. It does reinforce my desire to NOT go as part of a package tour group, but just solo or with a friend. I'd rather have the freedom, especially if it helps me steer clear of a small army of moochers.

The guy I talked to last spring who'd been to Cuba twice also said the food wasn't great. Kind of a bummer for me, in terms of vacation priorities. Overall you seem to have enjoyed your trip?


As a native Hoosier: why on earth are you stopping in Haubstadt, Indiana?

^^^Second add on...

Havana has old school hotels in the colonial/19th century districts as well as bigger resort type places out on the outskirts. If you were staying in Havana I'd go for the former as all of the latter seemed a long way out (And on the wrong side of the city for trips out to the better natural sights to the east.) The inner cities ones are also incredibly neat looking and most of them have rooftop bars for mojitos/salsa listening.

Boy that's a lot of words about the trip for not having written my blog post yet.

Um... go down to northern Evansville?

Haubstadt is like... nothing. It wouldn't take you much longer to get south to civilization.

HipsterDBag looking at your map, I may suggest stopping in Beaver UT instead of Salina. I don't know much about Salina except that there's not that many services available and it's kind of in Utah's rust belt. Beaver on the other hand has more weird things due to being a trucker and outdoor tourist stop (be sure to get some 'I <3 Beaver" merchandise). Along the way there's Cove Fort — a mormon built and owned fort that summarises the ol' tyme pioneer nostalgia mormons love; and more importantly the Fremont Indian Museum — the one with all the petroglyphs that you can drive through.

/edit: also get a jerry can for gas, and maybe one for water, those gas stations out west can be further apart than you realize. Also if you're heading by Las Vegas (Nevada, not the New Mexico one) the Paiute Indian reservation truck stop off the i15 sells fireworks.

HipsterDBag, do you really love driving? Are you planning to make frequent (or any) stops along the way? For example, are you stopping in Frederick MD so you can see a battlefield like Antietam or Monocacy, or is it mostly sightseeing from behind the windshield?

Ok, you might want to stick with stopping at the newest looking corporate-through-and-through gas stations because a bunch of the small ones also serve as hunter stops, selling stuff to dudes going into the mountains for the season.

TL;DR: don't be shocked if you go in somewhere and there's deer heads on the walls and ammo behind the counter.

Those graveyards are so fun to get lost in, were you looking for a particular grave or did you just have the urge to go exploring?

Thanks.  I have mixed feelings.  6 weeks is a helluva long time.  Even with a visit in the middle it will be the longest we've been apart since 2008.

Did you know there's both a Salina in Utah and Kansas?

I hope you enjoy your trip and the nature part of it, despite being the city guy you are.

Tues. Aug 4 - fly to Quebec City
Fri. Aug 7 - train to Montreal
Tues. Aug 11 - fly back to Texas

Our Montreal stay includes a few Montreal Symphony concerts and a poutine truck festival. Joe Beef is closed for a summer vacation (LazBro and pairesta I am heartbroken) but Montreal is a city where you have to TRY to eat badly.

I'm pretty excited.