The Films of 1982

<i>Creepshow</i>
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“The most fun you’ll ever have being scared!”

Prologue and Epilogue:
Billy (Joe Hill, a.k.a. Stephen King’s son) is criticized and slapped by his father (Tom Atkins) for reading horror comics. I imagine numerous audience members could relate. As dad smugly justifies his behavior, The Creep visits Billy while the audience is taken on a journey through an issue of <i>Creepshow</i>. When we return, Billy learns that some mail in orders are legitimate. With these segments, screenwriter King and director George A. Romero set and sustain a tone of affectionate nostalgia while not forgetting the power of an effective punchline.

“Father’s Day”:
The third crucial player in <i>Creepshow</i>’s success is Tom Savini. He does fine work in each segment, although I think the makeup’s at its best in “Father’s Day.” “Nobody in this movie is a three-dimensional person, or is meant to be,” Roger Ebert wrote. “They are all types. And their lives are all object lessons.” That gives us the freedom to enjoy watching Nathan (John Amplas) kill off and terrorize his heirs before his revived corpse can finally enjoy some cake. Side note: Warner Shook and Carrie Nye seem to be competing for “Who’s Playing it the Most Arch?”

“The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”:
King himself leads this segment, playing a hick whose body becomes ground zero for Earth’s conquest by a fast growing alien vegetation. He’s actually not too bad as an actor, and sinks his teeth into dialogue like “Verrill luck’s always in. And you spell that kind of luck ‘b-a-d.’”

“Something to Tide You Over”:
It’s not that “Tide” is a bad segment, it just would have benefitted from better pacing. Richard (Leslie Nielsen) forces Harry (Ted Danson) to the beach, where he buries him up to his neck in sand that high tides will continue to pass over. Richard also reveals he’s done the same thing to his wife Becky (Gaylen Ross), who had been having an affair with Harry. Like Nathan, the lovers become members of the undead. They give Richard a dose of his own medicine.

“The Crate”:
“... As you so often say, what would I do without you?" Hal Holbrook and Adrienne Barbeau lead this segment, which Vincent Canby called “a sort of comic book version of <i>Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?</i>” Ignore him, he’s being insufferable. This one also suffers from being overlong, although Holbrook, Barbeau and Fritz Weaver make up for it with some excellent performances. Barbeau is especially delightful as the hateful Wilma. “You know what, Henry? You're a regular barnyard exhibit. Sheep's eyes, chicken guts, piggy friends … and sh*t for brains.”

“They’re Creeping Up on You”:
Finally, we conclude with another segment essentially carried by one actor. E.G. Marshall is germophobic, ruthless, racist and all around assole Upson Pratt, whose apartment becomes overrun with cockroaches. He does a fine job and the ending moments are still quite scary.

“I just called to tell you what a monster you are, Mr. Pratt, and how I will rejoice when you're finally dead!”
“Lots of people are going to rejoice when l'm dead. Who are you?”

Recommended.

Thoughts:
-- Box Office: Just over $21 million on an $8 million budget, coming in at #37 for 1982. <i>Creepshow</i> opened at #1, but appears to have only played in theatres for a month.
-- Critic’s Corner: “(There) are five stories that have nothing in common except that Mr. King wrote them in what appears to have been a hurry,” Canby sniffed. “The best things about <i>Creepshow</i> are its carefully simulated comic book tackiness and the gusto with which some actors assume silly positions.”
-- “The Crate” features a film example of one of King’s most endearing quirks. I don’t know if he still follows this, but I remember characters calling women they don’t like a “crotch” instead of the harsher word. Wilma does so when ranting about “whoever that etiquette crotch is!”
-- “l've got to let you go, George. You did well! Go out and fvck somebody. But wear a damn rubber. Everybody's got the damn herpes these days.”
-- Next Week:
<i>Smithereens</i> -- www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH54vnxpOmU
<i>Still of the Night</i> -- www.youtube.com/watch?v=cA4zQD9AeXM

Still of the Night:
“On account of you, I’m an accessory to something -- I don’t know what. I’m witholding evidence, I’m obstructing justice. I’m going to get my license revoked if I’m not thrown into jail first. And on top of that, I’ve just spent $15,000 for a painting I don’t even like.”

Dr. Sam Rice (Roy Scheider) must figure out if he should love Brooke Reynolds (Meryl Streep). Brooke has apparently killed before -- did she do it again? Written and directed by Robert Benton, Still of the Night is set on the Upper East Side.

“Here is a land of art galleries, auction houses and one-room flats that have been ‘developed’ into expensive chicken coops; a place of antique shops, museums, boutiques, a Jaguar at every curb and psychiatrists in every block. As photographed by the great Nestor Almendros, even the laundry room in a more or less ordinary apartment house looks chic, as if it could be the background for a slick, full-color Chivas Regal ad.” -- Vincent Canby

Streep and Scheider give idiosyncratic, strong performances. While mostly falling short as a crafter of thrills, Benton does well with two sequences. The first juxtaposes Sam investigating Brooke while she takes bids at an auction before realizing he’s gone and knowing exactly where he is. The second involves the last two lots in the auction, plus Sam’s attempt to keep Brooke from a detective (Joe Grifasi).

Apparently Streep thinks of Still of the Night as a bad film*. It is true that Still is a little too talky, particularly in scenes involving Sam’s mother and fellow psychiatrist (Jessica Tandy) or the late George (Josef Sommer). Scheider and Streep’s chemistry is also tentative.
*That’s what she told Andy Cohen. I wish she’d have messed with his head and said something like, “I really stunk up the joint in Sophie’s Choice,” “What the hell was I doing in Mamma Mia!?” or “Andy, do you think I’ve been trying since Out of Africa?”

If nothing else, Still of the Night is an enjoyable curio, Hitchcock lite.

Recommended with reservations.

Thoughts:
-- Box Office: Under $6 million on a $10 million budget, placing it at #89 for 1982. I couldn’t find information about how this did on any given weekend. I’m assuming it was out of theaters by Christmas, in time for Universal to release Sophie’s Choice and MGM/UA to release Traill of the Pink Panther.
-- Critic’s Corner: “Miss Streep is stunning, but she’s not on screen anywhere near long enough,” Canby wrote. “Mr. Scheider, an excellent actor, is too intense -- too serious, really, to suggest the wildly unexpected romantic nature that the doctor discovers in himself.”
-- Fanservice Junction: George tells Sam about watching Brooke get naked for a male visitor one evening. Later, Sam learns the visitor is a massage therapist. There’s clearly a body double in the first scene, while Meryl makes sure not to show too much in the second scene.
-- Different Times: Sam’s sessions cost $75 an hour. The washing machines in his building are 75 cents a load. A Jackson Pollock painting sells for $1.2 million. Sam also uses an alarmless fire exit at the auction house.
-- Beginning next Monday, it’s time for the annual roundup of family films. I’m having a hard time tracking down Heidi’s Song, so here’s how the week will look:
Monday: Savannah Smiles
Tuesday: The Last Unicorn
Wednesday: Six Weeks
Thursday: The Dark Crystal
Friday: The Toy

Very nice!

The Last Unicorn
"A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story."
"But what if there isn't a happy ending?"
"There are no happy endings, because nothing ends."

If nothing else, The Last Unicorn deserves respect for being a fully told fairy tale. Our heroine (Mia Farrow) fully experiences growing up, ending up older and wiser from the experience. Maybe she won't live happily ever after, but she'll live. Peter S. Beagle wrote the screenplay from his own novel.

Trying to find more of her kind, the unicorn has formative experiences with several knowing and more than a little jaded people. There's Schmendrick the magician (Alan Arkin), "last of the red hot swamis." And Molly Grue (Tammy Grimes), who briefly laments that it would the last unicorn that came to her. Transformed as a human for her own safety, the unicorn is romanced by the heroic Prince Lir (Jeff Bridges). She understands despair after meeting King Haggard (Christopher Lee).

"The world can never be remade to suit a depressive; ultimately, they know that trying to control the world around them is unsustainable. The solution can only ever be inside yourself, and to reject that, as Haggard does, is to reject your humanity. It’s not going to end well."
-- Alex McLevy, The A.V. Club

While Rankin/Bass produced The Last Unicorn, I get the feeling others were paying attention. Unicorn's score, composed by Jimmy Webb, feels like the appetizer to the musicals of the Disney Renaissance. On the other hand, the songs aren't as memorable, although America and even Bridges make a game effort. Perhaps if there had been more songs from characters rather than just over the scenes.

Speaking of Disney, I'm convinced the seed of Robin Williams' Genie persona was planted in Robert Klein's lone scene as the fast-talking, poetry and music quoting butterfly. Klein's one of a handful of first rate character actors and experienced vocal artists making the most out of brief appearances. There's also Angela Lansbury, Keenan Wynn, Paul Frees, René Auberjonois, Brother Theodore and Don Messick, to name a few.

However, it is the central five -- Farrow, Lee, Arkin, Grimes and Bridges -- that give The Last Unicorn so much soul. I hope they recorded together.

"She will remember your heart when men are fairy tales in books written by rabbits. Of all unicorns, she is the only one who knows what regret is - and love."

Recommended.

Thoughts:
-- Box Office: $6.45 million on an unknown budget, coming in at #84 for 1982. It apparently played in less than 700 theaters for only three weeks.
-- Critic's Corner: "An unusual children's film in many respects, the chief one being that it is unusually good," Janet Maslin wrote. "Children, except perhaps for very small ones, ought to be intrigued by it; adults won't be bored." "It was a welcome discovery to realize just how strange the meat is of this weird little movie, and how well placed its heart," McLevy concluded in his Memory Wipe article.
-- Coincidence Corner: Savannah Smiles was set in Utah, while this film's distributor, Jensen Farley Pictures, was located there.
-- Does anyone else get a Terry Gilliam vibe from the Douglas fir (Nellie Bellflower) whose female form is quite matronly, right down to her drooping breasts?
-- "Okay Schmendrick, I give up. Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

<i>Six Weeks</i>
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"There is no question that the film runs the risk of being sentimental. But it's not my style and I'm going against that possibility and all times." -- director and bold-faced liar Tony Bill, to <i>The New York Times</i>

"This is the first script, after a year and a half of reading scripts, that spoke to me, that said, do this." -- a surprisingly non-intuitive Mary Tyler Moore, same

"(before the film's release) And now he's done his first more or less dramatic role in this lovely movie for which he's written the music, and he's very satisfied, loves the film, thinks it's the best work he's ever done."
"(after the release) He is devastated. What he can't understand is the vehemence, the total scorn being heaped on the movie by some of the critics."
-- Dudley Moore, as seen through the eyes of <i>Rolling Stone</i>

"I'd just like to feel good until I can't anymore." -- Nicole (Katherine Healy)

<i>Six Weeks</i> ostensibly depends on whether or not the audience cares about Nicole's happiness. It didn't take long before I had the uncomfortable feeling Bill, producers Jon Peters and Peter Guber, screenwriter David Seltzer and possibly novelist Fred Mustard Stewart cared more about whether or not Patrick (Dudley Moore) was happy. They sure didn't care about adding much depth.

Patrick, a little-known California state representative running for Congress*, meets Nicole when she flirts** and gives him directions to a fundraiser. Nicole's greatly impressed with Patrick, so much that her cosmetics tycoon mother Charlotte (Mary Tyler Moore) offers him a contribution to have her involved with the campaign. Misunderstanding the situation -- "Are you hiring me to play with your child?" -- Patrick eventually learns Nicole's on her third bout of leukemia*** and not bothering to have any more treatment. From then on out, it's whatever Nicole wants, Nicole gets.
*"Help Him Help You"; his liberal credentials also include being pro-gun control and anti-war.
**"Are you attracted to me? Do you think I have potential?" It's not the film's fault, but that scene plays awkwardly in the immediate light of the Roy Moore scandal.
***"An illness so symptomless it makes <i>Love Story</i> look like material for the <i>New England Journal of Medicine</i>." -- Janet Maslin

I'll give <i>Six Weeks</i> credit for occasionally not playing safe. Patrick has a wife, Peg (Shannon Wilcox), and son, Jeff (Bill Calvert). It would have been easier to just have him be single, or even have Patrick and Charlotte be a married couple**** whose love is renewed by their compassion for Nicole. Peg is initially a promising character, wanting Patrick to acknowledge the work she puts in as a political spouse. She has enough self-respect to kick Patrick out until the Nicole situation is finished, and even takes Jeff to a fundraiser at Charlotte's place*****. She and Jeff, who's surprisingly understanding about the whole thing, disappear after that scene.
****The only man in her life Charlotte mentions is her late father.
*****An apartment above the cosmetics factory, which also includes space for the workers' children to enjoy life drawings and ballet lessons.

That's a pity, because keeping Peg and Jeff around not only would have provided a more interesting source of tension than Nicole's quiet disease and whether or not Patrick and Charlotte will make their emotional affair a physical one. The people behind <i>Six Weeks</i> are lucky their film wasn't made today, where they'd have to come up with a reason for why Patrick, Charlotte and Nicole can be spending so much time together without the media blinking an eye.

"Patrick Dalton would be twice as plausible if he were anything but a politician in the midst of an election campaign." -- Maslin

But nope, with those six weeks until the election, he's out riding with non-family members in bumper cars on the Santa Monica Pier. Eventually, a guilty Charlotte asks Patrick to stay away. He still ends up arriving at the airport in time for the three of them to fly to New York for Christmas. Staying at the Waldorf Astoria, no less, where Charlotte and Patrick "get married" and presumably have sex.

Although not a professional actress, Healy has been doing well so far. The climax of <i>Six Weeks</i> gives her the chance to really shine. Patrick buys Nicole the chance to perform in a dress rehearsal of <i>The Nutcracker</i> at Lincoln Center. Patrick and Charlotte are transfixed, it's a success and Nicole's so happy she could collapse while riding the subway. This being a tearjerker, you can guess her fate.

"Dudley and Mary are saying a final goodbye to each other after a last magic weekend in New York. It's what I call a Standard Movie Scene, the kind that can easily become two characters giving each other a tearful goodbye, then turning around, making eye contact, and running into each other's arms one last time. I'm constantly aware of the possibility of that sort of egregious miscalculation.'' -- Bill, preparing to film the non-egregiously miscalculated scene.

Oh, and Patrick won his election, although he still wants to see Charlotte again.

While Healy left films to continue her careers in ballet and ice skating, the Moores soldiered on. For the rest of his life, Dudley regretted <i>Six Weeks</i> not being a bigger success.

Not Recommended.

Thoughts:
-- Box Office: Nearly $6.7 million on a reported $9 million budget (according to the <i>Times</i> article from January 1982). <i>Six Weeks</i> was #82 for 1982. It opened in tenth place and fell further, leaving theaters after a few weekends.
-- Critic's Corner: Unfortunately, I couldn't track down the <i>Time</i> review that really upset Dudley. It was entitled "Ghoul's Delight." "(It has) neither the emotional momentum of a true tearjerker or the credibility of a true story," Maslin concluded.
-- Poster and Billboard Watch: Michael Smotherman (apparently playing the L.A. Improv.), <i>Raiders of the Lost Ark</i> (faded), Suburban Lawns, <i>Reds</i>, <i>Ragtime</i>, <i>Ghost Story</i> and The Isley Brothers' <i>Inside You</i> are all advertised outside Patrick's headquarters. <i>A Chorus Line</i> and <i>Sugar Babies</i> are being promoted on Manhattan buses.
-- Dudley Moore was relishing the chance to stretch himself, "after doing what I call caricatures for the past three years," he told the <i>Times</i>. That explains why he chose <i>Six Weeks</i>. But why Mary Tyler Moore? Surely she must have seen the warning flags, like the fact the film had been in development hell for a few years? According to IMDB, the likes of Audrey Hepburn, Faye Dunaway, Candice Bergen and Jacqueline Bisset all passed on Charlotte.
-- For that matter, Paul Newman, then Nick Nolte were considered for Patrick. Tatum O'Neal was first in line for Nicole. Since Arthur Hiller was originally slated to direct, I wonder if anyone considered either or both of Ryan O'Neal and Ali MacGraw.
-- Bill, incidentally, "was called in to direct the film only eight weeks before shooting was to begin." If that wasn't enough trouble, the script was completely written and they had to stick to a 45 day shooting schedule so Dudley could keep other commitments.
-- Awards Watch: Healy and Dudley Moore picked up Golden Globe nominations, her for New Female Star of the Year and him for the musical score. They both lost, as did Mary Tyler Moore for Worst Actress at the Golden Raspberry Awards.
-- Thursday: <i>The Dark Crystal</i>

The Toy
“Do you know why they're having a party downstairs, fellas? Because it's goodbye for you guys. Oh, yeah. It's called a ‘wrap party.’ This is all for you guys. It's over. They're not gonna sell you anymore. They got a new toy to sell called the ‘Jack Brown.’ Me, the wind-up a**hole. Yes, that's me. I'm taking over all the stores of America next Christmas. Kids will be hollering for me. They won't want teddy bears like you. No, no, they won't. And they won't want no sad pandas. And no camels. No tigers, leopards, lions, rabbits. And orangutans. You understand? Kids will want a Jack Brown wind-up. ‘Mommy, I want a Jack Brown wind-up. Suzy has one and hers can play basketball. And Otto has one that can drive a Cadillac. He's real cute too and I want to pinch his nose.’ That's what I've done to myself. I sold out to Morehouse, you know? Yeah. My life is over. I'll end up in this room with all you toys for the rest of my life.”

Like an action figure out of the box, The Toy continues losing value as time goes on.

Where to begin? We have Jack (Richard Pryor), hired to be a plaything for Eric (Scott Schwartz). Whatever Eric wants, Eric gets, since his father is U.S. Bates (Jackie Gleason). Yes, if a situation that’s close enough to slavery wasn’t uncomfortable enough, we also a corrupt businessman with a god complex as a main character. Hey, I watch films to escape from reality!

The Toy was adapted by Carol Sobieski from Francis Veber’s French film of the same name. Call it a hunch, but I bet the running gag of Jack disrupting a domino display came from the Veber film. Sobieski was fresh from Annie, as was producer Ray Stark, who Pryor had a two-picture commitment with. The second film never got made. Unfortunately, the first did.

“What makes The Toy so queasily compelling today is that it’s not just a story about the undignified, self-defeating things a smart, talented black man will do to make money in a white man’s world, it’s also an illustration of them.” -- Nathan Rabin

Few demeaning situations are left out of The Toy, directed by Richard Donner. It has everything from Jack wearing a maid’s uniform to getting punched in the nuts to being the lust object for a Hitler-fixated German nanny (Karen Leslie-Lyttle) to the final tease of a here we go again situation. This being a film intended for families, Jack and Eric become genuine friends. Jack not only teaches Eric about love, he patches up his relationship with U.S., who may be a monster, but hey, he loves his son.

“I want him to understand that having money means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Gleason has two strong scenes in The Toy. I liked his opening moments, when U.S. inconveniences everyone at a business lunch by pulling the table closer to him. Jack solves the problem of executives having to pass down their plates by pulling the table back, nearly playing a game of tug of war with U.S.. Later in the film, U.S. demonstrates how powerful he is by ordering underling Morehouse (Ned Beatty) to drop his pants. Morehouse is humiliated, Jack and Eric are appalled and U.S. treats the whole matter like he was telling them what time it is.

“He, uh … he bought a black man.”
“I wasn’t aware that we sold them.”

Although Jack is married, the character of Angela (Annazette Chase) disappears for most of The Toy. Angela’s a lawyer, why not have her keep trying to outfox U.S.? She also could have played an actual role in the grand finale, where Jack and Eric disrupt a party attended by a Klan Grand Wizard (and friend of U.S.’s!). No, the only memorable female character is Fancy (Teresa Ganzel). Ganzel, like Pryor, does every bit of turd-polishing she can, like with an awkward scene when Fancy and U.S. reminisce about how they met.

“U.S. come through that door, like the archangel Gabriel. And he lifted me out of all that misery. And he give me new hair. And then he give me new boobs. And a mink coat. And a pink Continental. And a charge card at Neiman's. And I swear, if you don't believe in prayers and miracles, all you gotta do is look at me. I mean, I am living proof.”

Not Recommended.

Thoughts:
-- “Jack, Master Bates.”
-- Box Office: Over $47 million on a $28 million budget, coming in at #14 for the year. This opened at #1 and was in the top ten for most of its 10 weekends in release.
-- Critic’s Corner: “(Pryor) is never at his best in such conventional circumstances, though he does try hard,” Vincent Canby wrote. Gleason “always looks as if he’s just come from the barber,” Schwartz is “remarkably inoffensive, which could be because he doesn’t yet recognize what a dreadful endeavor he’s involved in,” and Ganzel is “almost funny.”
-- Dueling Critics Corner: Canby didn’t think Pryor was that good at prop comedy. Rabin, on the other hand, called the Wonder Wheel scene “a glorious illustration of Pryor’s gifts as a storyteller. With nothing more to work with than an inflatable contraption, he creates an entire world and fills it with sadness, friendship and adventure. He acts out every part in a play that exists solely for his benefit, singlehandedly making the Wonder Wheel the second most soulful character in the film.”
-- Musical Moment: It’s cheesy as hell, but I love the title song, “I Just Want To Be Your Friend.” It’s written by Trevor Lawrence and Frank Musker, who probably never have to work again thanks to the royalties from “I’m So Excited.” Musker also contributed to Grease 2 (“Score Tonight,” “Girl For All Seasons,” “Prowlin’,” “Rock-a-Hula-Luau”).
-- Fanservice Junction: A desk switch changes a portrait of Fancy from clothed to nude.
-- Hey, It’s the Late ‘70s into Early ‘80s!: Jack and the Wonder Wheel roll past an Intellivision display. Eric’s playroom includes a copy of Sidney Sheldon’s Bloodline. Some prominent Coca Cola product placement (remember, they bought Columbia Pictures in 1982).
-- Not-So-Different Times: My blood curdled a little at U.S. shrugging off the idea of being indicted. “Oh, state or federal?” Fancy, by the way, is U.S.’s third wife. Sound familiar?
-- Finally, Pryor and Gleason found common ground during shooting, as revealed in the former’s memoirs. I’ll let former Dissolve commenter Goddard tell the story: “Jackie Gleason taught him a way to sneakily exchange marijuana publicly, calling his style ‘the switch.’ ... he (also) nearly died of a cocaine overdose during the shoot. The book is unique insofar as these stories are given relatively equal heft. To Pryor, a story about making a connection with a co-worker, and nearly dying are written in the same sincere ‘Dear Journal …’ style. It's both endearing, and heartbreaking.”

At least the next batch of movies should be slightly better than The Toy.

Is Kiss Me Goodbye the end of the 1982 series? Because that would be a good title to end on (the title, not the actual movie, which I've never seen).

<i>Tootsie</i>
“Ron? I have a name. It's Dorothy. It's not Tootsie or Toots or Sweetie or Honey or Doll.”
“Oh, Christ.”
“No, just Dorothy. Alan's always Alan, Tom's always Tom and John's always John. I have a name too. It's Dorothy, capital D-O-R-O-T-H-Y.”

“They put a man in a dress, and he's supposed to know what it feels like to be a woman. But of course he doesn't. I think what Dustin [Hoffman] says is, ‘I realize now how important it is for a woman to be pretty. And I wasn't pretty.’ God! That's all you realized? Jesus Christ. Oh well. Don't quote me. Actually, quote me.” -- Teri Garr, 2008

Dustin Hoffman was never a feminist, but boy, did he take that reputation to the bank. The dichotomy between Michael Dorsey, an often insufferable actor who grew as a person, and his portrayer Hoffman, an often insufferable actor who apparently hasn’t, threatened to overshadow my most recent viewing of <i>Tootsie</i> directed by Sydney Pollock and written by many people.

“Look, you don't know me from Adam. But I was a better man with you, as a woman, than I ever was with a woman, as a man. You know what I mean? I just gotta learn to do it without the dress. At this point, there might be an advantage to my wearing pants. The hard part's over, you know? We were already good friends.”

I want to believe those lines. I want to believe Michael’s friendship with Julie (Jessica Lange) would be the cornerstone of any romantic relationship they’d have. I want to believe Michael really did become a better man, although there’s evidence to suggest otherwise.

“There's nothing you can do for me. I just have to feel like this, and you have to know you made me feel this way!”
“Aren't we still friends?”
“No! I don't take this sh*t from friends, only from lovers.
“Wait, what about the play?
“What about it? I should tell you to shove your play. But I won't, because I never allow personal despair to ruin my professional commitments. I am a professional actress! So, are these real chocolate-covered cherries?”
“I think so.”
“(takes them) See you at rehearsal.”

While Hoffman and the romance storyline currently have asterisks attached, Garr’s work as Sandy remains funny and sympathetic. It’s hard to wave away what a sh*t Michael has been to Sandy*, however. Each rewatch also makes me appreciate Lange’s understated and occasionally heartbreaking performance as the quietly overwhelmed Julie. Lange also has one of the funnier bits of business, bobbing her head back as Julie reacts to director boyfriend Ron (Dabney Coleman) giving her the motivation “to get those tubes stuck back up his nose.” Charles Durning is equally first rate as the salt of the earth Les.
*Up until now, I never noticed Sandy has a cello in her apartment. It might belong to a roommate, or be there for decoration, but having her be a working musician could also have provided a logical way to keep her and Michael apart without the constant lying.

“That is one nutty hospital.”

For the most part, time has been kind to the scenes involving Michael as Dorothy as “Emily Kimberly, the new hospital administrator.” There’s a certain retro charm to the idea of an actress emerging out of nowhere** and making a splash. 1982 was also the last year it was possible for a daytime soap star to get the kind of media attention Dorothy did. Susan Lucci doesn’t count -- she had guest appearances and TV movies, plus her Emmy losses, to boost her profile. Dorothy’s fame is entirely from <i>Southwest General</i>.
**It’s not like Dorothy would be the first actress to embellish her resume. In her autobiography, Garr talked about adding things like studying with Geraldine Page at the <b>L</b>ong <b>I</b>sland <b>E</b>xpressway theatre group.

“Maybe your contract has a morals clause. If Dorothy did something filthy or disgusting, they'd let you go. But you've already done everything filthy and disgusting on your show.”

At least five writers, plus Bill Murray and Garr, contributed to <i>Tootsie</i>. I’m normally not a fan of scripts by committee, but <i>Tootsie</i> makes up for it with an impressively high number of funny lines and business. Most are delivered by the film’s excellent ensemble, people like Murray, Coleman, Pollack, Doris Belack, Geena Davis and George Gaynes.

“Does Jeff know?”


Recommended with reservations.

Thoughts:
-- “Don't play a part that's not in you. Don't say ‘he’ or ‘she’ like you did last week when you were doing Kitty. When you were doing <i>Time Of Your Life</i>. If you can't make the part yourself, you can't play it.” I have to admit, that’s sound acting advice.
-- Box Office: $177.2 million on a $21 million budget, placing this at #2 for 1982. This was a mammoth hit, opening at #1 and staying there for 13 consecutive weekends. It also stayed in theaters for nearly seven months.
-- Critic’s Corner: “(It takes) a wildly improbably situation and found just about all of its comic possibilities, not by exaggerating the obvious, but by treating it with inspired common sense,” Vincent Canby wrote. “Every member of the cast is splendid … Neither (Bill Murray and Teri Garr) has ever appeared to such rich advantage as in <i>Tootsie</i>.” Like Canby, Roger Ebert felt <i>Tootsie</i> transcended its gimmick. “And it turns out to be a touching love story, after all -- so touching that you may be surprised how moved you are at the conclusion of this comedy.”
-- A couple more things about sexual misconduct and attitudes … A, April (Davis) presumably slugged Michael shortly after Julie. B, “I thought that [Sandy] was caught between trying to have a career and trying to be a sexual woman, and it just doesn't work,” Garr continued. “At least it didn't in that movie, because it was made by sexist men. I can say that now, because Sydney [Pollack] isn't with us anymore. (Laughs.) But he was a fine director. … He just wanted the beautiful, blond, cute, shiksa girls to be nice and shut the f*ck up!” C, Garr also revealed Hoffman grabbed her butt at least once during shooting. “I guess he felt he was above the law.”
-- Awards Watch: <i>Tootsie</i> was largely ignored at the Academy Awards, losing to <i>Gandhi</i> in nearly every category both films had nominations. The exception was Best Sound, which went to <i>E.T.</i>. While <i>Gandhi</i> picked up Oscar wins for Best Picture, Actor, Director and Original Screenplay, <i>Tootsie</i> did have Lange’s win for Best Supporting Actress. Speaking of the supporting categories, Charles Durning deserved to be nominated for <i>Tootsie</i> rather than <i>The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas</i>. Also, it is a little surprising that <i>Tootsie</i> didn’t get Oscar nominations for its makeup and costumes. The film did better with the Golden Globes, picking up wins for Best Musical or Comedy, Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy and Best Supporting Actress (Lange again).
-- Musical Moments: This might be a controversial opinion, but I like Dave Grusin’s score. I also forgot how good “It Might Be You” is. Not good enough to win Best Song at the Oscars, but it matched the quiet intensity of Julie, Michael and Les’ feelings during the farm montage.
-- Just how long did Michael’s charade last? Rita says Dorothy’s contract’s been picked up for another year, while Julie thanks Dorothy for the last several weeks. I’m guessing Dorothy had a 13-week contract, which, again, makes the media blitz seem a tad over the top. On the other hand, it provides Rita, the writers and the network a slightly plausible excuse when they’ll inevitably lie about having planned the whole thing.
-- Some more thoughts about soaps … Assuming the entire <i>Southwest General</i> cast is there for Michael’s reveal, and there’s 20 people at most, I’m guessing it’s a half-hour show; It also appears to air in a lunchtime slot, as <i>The Doctors</i> did in 1982; In what’s widely believed to have been a publicity stunt, <i>Search for Tomorrow</i> aired a live episode in 1983 after the episode’s tape was supposedly lost; nearly 20 years later, Susan Lucci told <i>TV Guide</i> she didn’t think the film was realistic. She does have a point -- surely the <i>SG</i> wardrobe department would have caught on sooner or later.
-- Today in Comedy: As I mentioned before, Sid Caesar hoped to do a sketch mashing this with <i>Rocky</i> when he hosted <i>SNL</i> in 1983. Gary Kroeger played Dorothy Michaels in a few <i>SNL</i> sketches, while Martin Short played Dustin Hoffman as Dorothy on <i>SCTV</i>, “blowing up real good.” Meanwhile, <i>Not Necessarily the News</i> spoofed this twice, first with a commercial for “Gandhi Loves Tootsie” and then a report about how it was continuing the trend of dressing like the movies (“... setting the fashion world on its ear while at the same time deeply concerning psychologists everywhere.”). And, of course, <i>Family Guy</i>’s “Go, Stewie, Go!,” whose take on the Russian Tea Room scene is particularly raunchy. “Brian, we both know I touched it. Now if you'd like to keep that just between us, I suggest you sit back down and order me some chicken fingers.”
-- <i>MAD</i> also got into the act with “Tootsie Role.” “I’ve got a real problem, Jiff! I’m in love with Juicy … and I know she likes me! But she thinks I’m a female … and if I tell her the truth, I’m not sure she’ll like me as a man!” “How do you know all this …?” “Call it women’s intuition.” The best jokes came at the end, when Micro was fired when the reveal bored an audience used to taboos, followed by the reveal that Juicy is really Jiff in disguise.
-- Today in Broadway: <i>Evita</i> and <i>A Chorus Line</i> are seen advertised on buses, while a poster for <i>Amadeus</i> is on the wall at the party where an out of drag Michael meets Julie.
-- “I <i>knew</i> there was a reason she didn’t like me!”

I forgot the issue of <i>MAD</i> included Don Martin spoofing <i>The Dark Crystal</i>. The best joke came from Kira having wings while Jen has a parachute. “So that’s the difference!” The best article was “The Evolution of a TV Situation Comedy,” examining how “Idle Hours” went from a sitcom about three friends in 1946 Indiana to various supporting characters living in 1960s California. “Give Us a Break!,” meanwhile, ended with Don Rickles telling Null and company that insult humor can’t sustain a show. “Gimme a break!”

Unfortunately, I went long writing about <i>Tootsie</i>, so thoughts on <i>The Verdict</i> will be held a day.