The Tolera-beet-lity Index Bob's Burgers thread

We open with the guys just about to start a new day, the kids are getting ready to go to school and Linda has found another piece of napkin art from that guy who does them, it’s not exceptionally good being a stick figure fisher in a boat with grease used as the lake but everyone seems reasonably impressed. Everyone agrees that Linda’s idea that they should have a wall of napkin art is a good one while Tina is close to moving up the ranks to Hall Manatee, the most prestigious of ranks for hall monitor. A small aside, this being the world of TV I’ve come to expect either power madness or a highly powerful hall monitor corps, most times both for the orange sash or vest always brings great power to those who wear it and don't doubt Bob’s Burgers will respect this unwritten rule. Okay, enough diagramming fictional conventions, on with the story and at Wagstaff Tina is partnered with Regular Sized Rudy who to some degree is the rookie to Tina’s seasoned veteran of the force. She shows exceptional knowledge of the halls and is to be respected when dealing with a kid caught running, quite the inspiration to Hall Minnow Rudy as the halls are entirely her domain and shows it with her confidence and quiet force. This is exemplified with catching Louise and Gene sliding down the stair banisters, Louise does figure that because they’re family she’ll let it slide but in this world, Tina is absolute in her rules. Tina and Rudy are called to Coach Blevins’ office to escort Zeke to the principal’s office for rooting around in there, Tina asks Rudy to go complete his rounds though as it’s the Midday Run and it’ll be quiet and easy. Rudy is less than confident that she can handle Zeke alone given he is a known troublemaker and asks to come along but is flatly denied.

Over at the restaurant, everyone (by which I mean Teddy, Bob and Mort) is getting into the swing of napkin art with their scribbles. Teddy and Mort get their random doodles up but Bob’s picture of a face is considered below the threshold of stick figures in boats, spirals and a sun with sunglasses. This offends Bob and is pretty annoyed everyone accepted those but refused his. Tina meanwhile is taking Zeke to the principal but Zeke is protesting he has a good reason for what he did, Tina isn’t accepting any of it. Zeke instead asks to goto the bathroom, Tina relents on this but later pays for it when she goes into the bathroom to get Zeke but finds that he’s escaped under her watch with Rudy watching nearby out of sight. She bumps into Mr. Frond, her composure somewhat broken with her flub hanging over her and quickly makes up that she had delivered Zeke though not before doing that uhhhhhhhh groan that, like it does for me, nauseates Mr. Frond. Rudy nearby is angered that Tina would lie like this and confronts her on it but he quickly pushes it away again and goes off leaving Rudy to clean up her mess.

Tina is in a bind so recruits Louise and Gene to help her though they’re still pretty sore about getting written up earlier, she makes a deal though with giving them both supposedly mythical permanent hall passes in exchange for help. They agree and Louise takes her to the lunchroom in order to shake Zeke’s friend Jimmy Jr. for answers because if you need to find someone who doesn’t want to be found, you rough up their friends for clues. Tina is reluctant to grill Jimmy Jr. so lets Louise do the talking but he’s not talking so in a surprising act of aggression, Tina swoops in and demands to know where Zeke is. Though he refuses, a forceful twist of the arm behind the back, a hand on the head and under a threat of a face full of chowder, Jimmy Jr. finally squeals and admits that he could be in a place he goes that he calls his “hidey hole” over in the storage room near the science lab. Bob meanwhile is trying to make something wall worthy and draws out a burger which Linda doesn’t really like though loves Mike’s wireframe cube which annoys Bob no end because he thinks the fault is with him.

Back at Wagstaff in Zeke’s hidey hole, the kids hunt down Zeke when Gene and Louise spot him and Tina takes chase crawling through several old desks before cornering him and finger trapping him because much like hall monitors are the law of the halls in TV land, Chinese finger traps are impossible to circumvent. With her quarry caught, Tina gives up the permapasses owed to Louise and Gene who leave with a whole world of hallways open to them but for Tina it’s another far more angered Rudy accusing Tina directly of her lies to Mr. Frond about getting Zeke to the office. Tina argues she’s going now making it irrelevant if she lied earlier but Rudy, scorned and faith lost, isn’t going to let this dirty monitor complete the job and tries to take Zeke himself and report Tina as lunch ends. With a slightly less than convincing “look over there” fakeout, Tina runs off with Zeke. Frustrated at not getting onto the wall, Bob goes over to the local art store to get a quick lesson with deep reluctance from both Bob and the horrible Edith but after a bit of grovelling she agrees to do it but not before stiffing Bob $30 for supplies.

Zeke and Tina are going an alternate route to the principal’s office meanwhile and Zeke is explaining why he was in the office, he was looking for the mascot costume so he could wear it for his grandma and mascot around for her before she has an operation. Tina doesn’t believe him but that’s all cut short when they happen upon a teacher on a smoke break whose name I didn’t catch, Zeke deftly gets out of it by talking to her and asking her about smoking which becomes awkward enough she leaves and they get to continue on their way. Back over at Reflections and unfortunately for everyone, he steps in on the lesson that consists of life drawing with a naked Edith. Bob is deeply reluctant to do this with the awkwardness hose turned on him full blast and feeling near unable to breathe never mind draw but with lots of shouting from Harold and Edith regarding what to do and that he really should be looking up to draw this, he does come out with something at the end besides painful memories that’ll never fade. Safely over at the school, Zeke is anxious to get this over with but before they make it home free they bump into Rudy awaiting in front of the office who yells for Mr. Frond. He asks why Zeke is here and not at the office but Tina has to tell the truth that Zeke escaped from her and leaves disgraced. Over in the office while overhearing a phone call, she finds that actually Zeke was telling the truth giving her an opportunity to clear stuff up with Zeke. Later, Tina with the mascot costume apologises to Gene and Louise for letting her ambition get the better of her and being a bad sister as a result, apologies accepted and now to help Zeke’s grandma. Tina has a plan to spring Zeke and get him to the retirement home before she has to go for her op but it requires pretty close timing and getting past both Mr. Frond and Ms. Schnur. Louise busts in stating Penny Marshall is outside and looking for a new best friend which is enough to get rid of Ms. Schnur allowing Zeke his freedom while Gene and Louise run interference. Tina gives him the costume and lets him go, explaining to Mr. Frond why he needed to go and why he needed the costume. Mr. Frond is unmoved by this and can’t believe Tina would fall for it but after one impassioned Tina speech and making herself culpable for Zeke, Mr. Frond decides that if she’s right then both Tina and Zeke won’t be in trouble with some ice cream thrown in too seeing as it’s such a longshot. If she’s wrong though then she’ll get a month’s detention and be stripped of her vest. This seems like a horrible bargain, even Gene and Louise warn about Zeke’s past and that she’s riding a lot on a near cert she’s wrong but her naive little wide eyed candy dandy fool ways still say Zeke is being honest and takes the bet. They along with Rudy head off for the Elegant Doily Retirement Home but while Zeke’s grandma is there, Zeke isn’t which allows Mr. Frond some short-lived victory before Zeke comes out to mascot for his grandmother in the mascot costume totally blowing Frond’s bet. Bringing everything on home back at the restaurant, Bob returns from his nightmare of the soul with the thousand-yard stare and unblinking expression of a man who’s seen horrors too terrible to recount to show off his napkin art to Linda and the kids. He’s pretty happy with himself and so is everyone else with his drawing of naked Edith and with the image of so many fleshy folds in our minds unbidden we end our episode.

We open in the restaurant with the kids doing their basic duties with refilling sugar dispensers and ketchup bottles, Bob is unhappy with Louise for using his zester to get gum off Gene’s shoe and as we know, Bob loves his utensils so you can imagine his displeasure. In the mail comes dismay at once more being rejected at his attempt to be a part of the community garden but at least he got some consolation tomato seeds. Bob really wanted to be a part of the community garden because he wanted to make produce that he could use in the restaurant, apparently he’s harboured the idea of being a gardener for a while. He’s got plans to go down to the garden master, Cynthia, to see what he can do about getting in though Linda warns him she’s a piece of work but if he needs to screw her then fine, whatever it takes. Last we say Cynthia was back in “Ear-sy Rider” where there was that conflict between the bikers, her, her kid Logan and a threat of a chopped off ear and things haven’t really cooled for her. Logan remains a total jerk, Cynthia is trying though a summer college prep program but is here to shore up his requirements for extra-curricular activities. Character building crappy jobs in dead end places are sure-fire winners for those sorts of activities so Bob gets the idea in exchange for entry into the garden to get Logan to work in the restaurant… where Louise works too.

Louise and Logan’s reintroductions to each other are way less than civil, in a private talk Bob asks Louise to get along with Logan during his temporary internship at the restaurant because he really really wants that garden plot, Louise relents but of course she’s not happy about it. Bob though over at the plot is ecstatic about getting to garden, talking to his shears and trowel as Belchers do. Over with the kids, Logan is making an ally in Gene by showing him the way of the High Five, Tina is just happy to be talking with a teenage boy and their locker room habits and Louise just wants rid of the guy. She talks with Linda about maybe not having him around but Linda does explain how she does owe him one after de-zesting his zester and how he needs to do this so Louise relents in the knowledge you just have to be around people you don’t like sometimes only for Linda’s enemy Cynthia to come in. Linda doesn’t want her around anymore than Louise wants Logan around what with her needs for Camomile tea and whatnot so ends up in a passive grr-y rage all day. Later in bed and still ragey, Linda blurts out to Bob that while he needs the plot, she’s not happy with Cynthia coming over and Louise who comes in unannounced is reaching the end of her tether with Logan so the question is how long does this need to go on? Bob is unsure but does tell the girls to try and ignore the enemies in their midst until it’s over no matter how eager Louise might be to slap Logan about a bit.

We get a nice little song from Bob in his garden as he is rather elated at his work so far with his seedlings with counterpoint from Louise and Tina as they stew with these annoying people who are now in their lives again. After that little ditty, Louise and Linda are finding their individual opponents really annoying with Logan burping and wafting the air towards Louise and Linda finding that the essay Cynthia is writing for Logan is a horrible hatchet job on the Belchers, calling them “simple people” which really riles her but controls herself and reminds herself that it’s for Bob. That’s all a bit short-lived though as Linda enraged at Cynthia once more flinging a sneering insult at their workplace decides to let loose by threatening to break her laptop and Louise gets her sloppy whirlwind arms on only for Bob to float in and finding trouble a-brewing. Cynthia though isn’t happy with Linda trying to snatch away her laptop and her kid about to be slapped so she leaves and takes Bob’s plot with her. Bob goes off and begs to try and keep his plot. The rest of the family back at the restaurant watching from inside assume he’s out there defending them but nope, upon his return he tells everyone he’s making Logan employee of the month which causes Louise to quit seeing as she really did think he was backing her up. Bob goes upstairs to try and talk to Louise but turns south kinda quickly in his attempt to clear things up even though the “Employee of the Month” thing is entirely meaningless having never happened before.

Gene is on the phone trying to convince Louise to come down while Tina is back in creeper mode; Louise though is hatching a spitball based plan. Bob is freaking out a little though because the weather was supposed to be overcast but it’s a clear shorts weather day out there and Bob’s beans are uncovered having predicted the weather wrong so away Bob goes to try and rescue his beans though yeah, Bob’s frickin’ nuts. Meanwhile, with Logan talking with his buddies, Louise’s plan sets into motion with Louise getting into the crawlspace to spit those spitballs from earlier at Logan though he has no clue from where, it’s pretty much a perfect Louise crime. After a little more shooting from afar, she manages to bean one right in his mouth. Bob returns to tell everyone his beans are fine but Linda is really unhappy with his being over at the garden as it’s driven Louise insane apparently, Bob warns her that if she doesn’t get out of the crawlspace she’ll be the last to be employee of the month, that he’s pushing through with this because the garden will benefit everyone and well, she owes him for gunking up his grater with shoe gum. While giving a big old lecture about the boring-ass outdoors (yknow, that place where Bob got lost and ended up with poisoning), Louise comes by to pick up Bob’s shears and go off to cut down Bob’s precious beans. Bob does try and argue her down but it’s only around the block, she pops through the gate easily but Bob gets wedged seeing as she is a teeny kid and able to slip through the gap. Bob thinks he’s got the upper hand on Louise as she won’t know which one is his, just that he did kinda signpost his with a “Bob’s Beauties” paper plate sign. She tears up part of his plot, arguing that he shouldn’t have hired Logan knowing she hates him, Bob doesn’t want this as their his babies, not exactly the sort of thing to say to your kid about plants. He notices that yeah, it was selfish for him to want the garden above anything else and that she should chop them as punishment for that. Louise however can’t, it’s not their fault and we get one of those moments of father/daughter bonding over the fact Bob didn’t see that she wanted the restaurant to remain their place and that she never wanted Logan around at all and for putting his beans in front of his family. She’ll forgive Bob if she’s the one to fire Logan which she does as HR Manager of Bob’s Burgers, Bob of course will lose his plot but he doesn’t care now, he’s already dug up his beans and took them home which kinda pretty much ends the whole affair with Linda sneaking in that she poured water on Cynthia’s laptop and unfortunately an overloaded planter doesn’t hold up well.

We kick things off at school with Jimmy Jr.’s attempt for class president mostly to decide upon song tempos at school dances and Tina being very much for him mostly because his opponent isn’t much to speak of as reflected in early polling with Jimmy up 95%. Mlllie, who you might remember from “Fort Night” and has a stalkerish love/hate arch-rivalry with Louise, re-enters the scene being all creepy and schizo as you might expect. Bob and Linda meanwhile are at a kitchenware store with Linda stuck saying “lot of ladles” and Bob eyeing a vey pricey Japanese knife, it’s al fun and games until you pick one up and admire the balance and the handcrafted story behind it and buy it with very little resistance. Millie meanwhile, talking with Jimmy Jr.’s opponent, hits upon what is driving him and what can only drive a crazy frootloop like her, POWER! Even got a little bit of the evil hand rubbing going on, just remember to drop your PB sandwich next time hun. Anyway, what that leads to is Millie also running for president and Louise of course aghast because really, who’d let her have greater power than being responsible for erasers? Apparently everyone, at least in Louise’s mind which slightly overestimates the control being class president brings to the table. In a fit of crazy and fear, she wants to manage Jimmy Jr.’s campaign and so takes the job from Tina. In the middle of the night.
    
At the meeting next morning, Jimmy is curious why she finds Millie such a threat given somehow he is popular, Louise tells a story of naming the class chinchilla and somehow Millie ended up giving it a terrible name which makes her a threat because she always gets her way. Louise has an idea to up their game and it involves televisual campaigning, only problem is that it is a huge failure with people voting against him simply because of the ad and pushes Millie 30 points up. Louise decades to go attack ad mode to counter it but that also loses votes because it was seen as a vicious attack and following an appearance with Tammy on the school news show, Millie is now in the lead. After this screwup, Louise doubles down by going with an attack ad on Jimmy Jr. leaving everyone questioning Louise and Tina concerned why they didn’t just go and do posters. Bob however really likes his new awesome knife, even to the point of cutting up a huge pile of onions because it cuts so well. Teddy shares in his enthusiasm with his hammer being pretty similar though they’re really not the same thing. Linda though, having spread that knife’s payment across three credit cards, is kinda annoyed at how obsessed he is by his expensive new toy.

Later, Bob is bragging about is wonderful knife and Teddy has brought in his birdhouse to finish off with his pride and joy. Bob is pretty contemptuous of Teddy’s hammer (and birdhouse) which leads Teddy to defend his tool against Bob’s with a competition, just they have no clue what to compete at. The only way Linda is going to care is if she arranges something so goes with a knife and hammer Olympics though there’s no way to pick out a winner between the two given they’re nothing alike. Louise meanwhile is tanking Jimmy Jr.’s campaign with her attack ads with Jimmy now 70% below where he was proving their effectiveness because seemingly it’s crushed Jimmy Jr.’s standings in general with him no longer as popular as he was before Louise came in. Louise wants to go in harder with this but Jimmy quits because Millie offered him the ability to do the songs at dances like he wanted if he stepped down and he’s taking that offer seeing as it’s the sole reason he ran at all. Louise, in a panic, attempts to manage the other guy but he knows she’s campaign poison but again gives crazy people bad ideas by suggesting she run for president which she gleefully takes if it means keeping Millie out of office, she also has a great slogan with “Two More Ears”. Tina isn’t exactly on her side seeing how crazy it’s made her so has placed her lot in with Millie, Louise figuring that’s just what Millie wanted all along. Back at the restaurant, the competitions between hammer and knife begin with a test of speed, Bob’s knife cutting tomatoes and Teddy’s hammer knocking in nails. This ends in a tie with the next round supposedly them switching tables to pry out Teddy’s nails and hammer Bob’s tomatoes… it’s far from the best plan Linda spent all day making.

At the debates, Louise puts out why not to vote for Millie, she argues that she’s not Millie and that Millie doesn’t want the job but just wants to annoy Louise and something about conjoined brains and sharing arms. Millie counters with a clear appeal to Mr. Frond (and a jab at Louise) by stating she’ll increase budgeting for counselling to help out Louise but also has longer recesses, bigger desserts and a bestie system which only Gene is convinced by. With a very good impassioned speech about having someone to go through school with which is what the bestie system is about, Louise figures this is just a ruse to get them bound as besties but Millie counters that they’ll be assigned alphabetically though of course M is right next to L. Effectively, Millie manages to come across as thoughtful and trustworthy while Louise sounded insane and insane. Like Tina says, she is good and of course proves those least suited to power often find themselves in power even if it’s just to be mandatory enemesties with Louise. Back with Teddy and Bob, after five unseen rounds, Linda metes out the next competition, who can make a hole in the counter first which seems immensely stupid considering his knife is a knife, not for stabbing at hard objects but Bob seems more concerned about the counter given how consumed he is with winning. Louise’s campaign is basically flatlining with nobody willing to vote for her and is ready to quit before a secretly flown paper airplane gives her a hint towards taking down Millie and it lies with Abby and her file in Mr. Frond’s office. The other Belcher kids are required for this but Tina wants to go off to vote, she can’t though because Louise plays the family card, the sacred bond stronger than your own free will and the fact she took something from your control that was a lock, ended up running it into the ground so hard it came out the opposite side of the world and owe her nothing. She goes along anyway because she is a Belcher aaaand… Okay, anyway, they end up getting Abby’s file that contains some info that they can use. In the gym, Louise comes up with the fact that Abby’s first name is Mabel (huh, familiar name…) so she’d be Louise’s bestie, not Millie given Abby is a bizarre alternate version of the name Mabel. Anyway, Millie isn’t taking this news well and argues that even if they can’t be besties under her rule, she’ll just change it until she can and chokes Ababel with her own braid. Mr. Frond sees this but no amount of swishing it off as improv drama will save her from losing her ticket but even with Louise in second place, she’s also off the ballot having broken into his office and taking the file so ends up with ol’ no face winning. Thing is, his whole plan was indeed to take everyone out by making both Millie and Louise run knowing about Millie’s ability to make Louise blow up with irrationality and make people turn against her as well as leaving the airplane hint knowing both will end up disqualified leaving him the only candidate, it’s quite the strategy but you’d expect that from a chess nerd. With the hole creating contest coming up with no winner, Linda suggests to have a hammer versus knife fight. You’d almost assume Linda was trying to damage Bob’s knife, no clue why because it wouldn’t make that much of a difference, she’s still eating that $300 he spent. A little fighting talk gets Bob charged up enough to go fight with Bob taking first hits at Teddy’s hammer and then Teddy entirely destroying Bob’s knife and being declared the winner.

Short synopsis this week, in our main A-plot we have a bunch of kids from school going into Saturday detention, namely the Belcher kids, Tammy, Jocelyn, Zeke and Jimmy Jr. for an altercation involving fire alarms, Tina and Tammy wearing sparkle jelly bracelets on the same day and a foam party. It's all pretty stupid but it gets worse with Mr. Frond proposing a fashion contest à la Project Runway as a method of reform after a crisis of his own. Winning team gets released three hours early and yes, there are Breakfast Club references but mostly Project Runway references. The team we care about are the Belchers and while Tina is oddly aggressive about her bracelet, the team does okay through the three rounds involving Ms. Schnur and Coach Blevins each assigning them fashion tasks for them to complete as they're the only other faculty in the school. Tammy and Jocelyn take the first round with Ms. Schnur's task of something for her to wear during a three day David Schwimmer movie marathon using only what's in the supply closet, Zeke and Jimmy Jr. take second round through a wrestling match as Coach Blevins knows nothing about fashion but things get stopped by Principal Spoors objection to his crazy crazy idea over a phone call. The kids aren't happy about this so Louise proposes a final involving Frond's patent fashion skills as Wagstaff's Fashion Guy against all the kids with Mr. Branca the janitor as judge. If Frond wins then they tell the principal his plan worked but if they win they get their freedom which of course he accepts being easily manipulated by Louise. The task Mr. Schnur gives them is to make something good from trash in the dumpsters. The outfit the kids are making from old lettuce is good but they're out of peanut butter and need something to hold on the last few leaves, their dumb sparkle jelly bracelets. Tammy and Tina are still at each other's necks, luckily Tina notices they're dumb and gives hers up for the contest, Tammy not so much. The contest go well, both do surprisingly good work but the kids win, Mr. Frond thinks the competition actually brought them to together to rehabilitate so everyone kinda wins. Kids get to goto the cotton candy festival and Mr. Frond... well, Principal Spoors shows up after they've left leaving him no choice but to pull the fire alarm and run.

With our B-plot, Bob is pretty sure he's being scammed by a girl, Sally, selling magazine subscriptions to goto Turtle Island in Florida for communication skills training, Linda is sympathetic to her plight until she learns she's being scammed by someone above her at least as far as Bob thinks and chase her away. Later though, the co-ordinator for these little trips, Tammy, comes along and asks why it is Sally thinks she's scamming her, admittedly Bob isn't really convinced until Tammy "snaps" and starts pulling up the counter causing Bob and Linda to freak out a little and buy a magazine subscription anyway even if they somehow cost $160. Jimmy pops in at this moment to continue his goading from earlier and asks what they're upto, Bob in some quick thinking uses the purchase of the magazine subscriptions as a philanthropic endeavour by buying 20 magazines which of course gets Jimmy into his competitive mode and buys two of everything, moral being that it probably was a scam for magazines that'll never show up but at least Jimmy got screwed twice as bad which is about as good as we can expect.

It's Linda's birthday and she's hit forty-... um, could be four or five but anyway, she's of an age she can't even bring herself to say and the kids are doing their yearly gift of breakfast in bed including burnt, hard toast. Bob meanwhile is looking to give her a spa day using products he made himself, possibly to cut corners and that's not going good lacking the majority of the ingredients. Linda has been forced to stay in her room and she's getting a little antsy in there, she suggests to go out and do some food shopping which Bob feels will give him more time so he asks her to goto the good one further away. While speaking with Ginger (Ginger's voicemail anyway) in the car, she tells her about her day so far passes by a chalk festival, seemingly inconsequential and that she hates her birthday as after a certain age it's no fun anymore given she doesn’t do anything these days. At the grocery store, she gets stuck behind a lady from the chalk festival who is chatty with the cashier, both of whom took a distinct dislike the second she got cut ahead of and delayed even further when she went off to get different products at the clerk’s suggestion. She's a bit agitated from that but out in the car park she finds two large cars blocking her car on both sides, things aren't going well for a woman who's not getting any younger and feeling the pressures of time in small and big ways. Back with the guys, things are tootling along as incompetently as you'd expect with six rose petals and a relaxation CD Gene has which got forced onto him, obviously this is achieving when your bar is low enough you could trip over it. Back with Linda and things are just getting worse with a litany of misfortune involving gum in her hair, locking her keys in the car and ripping her pants at the butt making for the suckiest birthdays that ever did suck.

Adding to the cavalcade of humiliation, she can't use anyone's phone after getting. The store clerk from earlier won't let her use their phone unless she has an emergency of the physical injury kind. Going outside to ask someone also results in denial (though he tells her he doesn't have one though it is ringing) because she's wearing a plastic bag like a diaper to cover the rip in her pants and with the gum in her hair looks like a crazy person. Add to that Bob ringing her phone trapped inside the car and you see where this might go, Bob is concerned given she's not picking up and looks to get Teddy to drive him and the kids out to pick up Linda but she's already getting on a bus to try and get home. The bus driver thankfully for her is very considerate of her problem and trusts her though she has no money to pay as he's going by the wharf too. Things are turning up for Linda but not for long as it's the express to Wildwood Wharf that goes on the freeway taking her even further away from home. If she sticks around on the loop it’ll take an hour and a half and and even then she'll be back where she started not to mention the bus driver has a penchant for driving games and not understanding pointing so decides to get off at the next stop and walk home. Over at the grocery store, Teddy and the family have arrived, there's the shopping in the car but no Linda so now they need to search for her, she's miles away though but they decide to goto a place she's most likely to be according to Gene, Davendorf's Bakery. At least Tina understands she's having a horrible birthday though Tina might be a teeny bit off in terms of just how horrible as she trudges home through a field getting muddy and sprayed by a skunk adding to the trouble.

Making her way to a road with skunk spray in her eyes blinding her and reeking of defensive anal gland fluid, she trips and ends up breaking her glasses rendering her even more frustrated though for whatever reason she gets sprayed again in a run by, same skunk even. Over at the bakery, seems she can't possibly be there having been placed on their "do not feed" list for excessive sampling with her big hands but nice wrists. She's trying to hitch a ride meanwhile with broken glasses, gummed hair, dirty clothing, plastic bag diaper and of course smelling like someone who's just been freshly skunked. She’s not getting much luck as she's frustrated and gabbles crazily to anyone to comes up but seems someone with a flatbed truck and horse carrier might be the right sort of person even if the horses aren't that fond of her stink having to ride with them. She gets dropped off at the edge of town and walks her way across town, four blocks away from home she ends up over at the chalk festival and the lady who was very rude in the grocery store. Sharp words are exchanged but she's not stopping for someone demanding a ticket and runs through one of the chalk drawings on the road, it’s the lady’s piece and after being called a hag Linda dances all over it which ends up in a chase for destroying the lady’s chalksterpiece (I don’t think she’s namechecked during the episode but her name is Deidre in case you’re curious). Thing of it is that she's managing to avoid the chalk drawings while her pursuer is running right through most of them but it's a small aside.

Still trying to figure out where she'd be, things lead to Tina suggesting her favourite toilet at the Royal Oyster Hotel via and maybe she's "shucking an oyster" there, it's her term not mine. Anyway, seems she goes there once or twice a week with Tina and is pretty friendly with the security and pianist there with them knowing it's her birthday and who her family is, apparently she's been going for years. They invite them to stay but they're kinda in a rush so have to leave. Still with no clue, Louise suggests a place, a pet store where apparently Linda and her go to pet the puppies, Louise even has a favourite puppy for all her bluster about being outside when she visits, one Colonel Fluffers (which is entirely a Louise name if ever I heard one). Bob notices even if Linda makes it home that without a key she won't be able to get in so they need to get home. Linda is already there though having been beaten but not defeated on her trek across town but can't get in so tries to use the fire escape ladder to get back in and ends up frightening the others as they walk in. Turns out after all the stuff she's been through a spa day was exactly what she needed even if she wasn't expecting to do it in a tub of tomato sauce. Bob tells her that he's learned a lot about her today and that even after their time together he's still learning new things that he respects about her, kinda. Anyway, it's a sweet moment as Bob gets something out of it and Linda realises she actually does still have it having kicked this birthday's ass and wants to make it her new tradition, dumped out in the middle of nowhere with no cell and having to make her way back, nonetheless she's just happy to found she never lost her groove.