Post by Yuri Petrovitch on Mar 19, 2014 10:14:03 GMT -5
This week--Scandal drives the cutting edge of Serbo-Croatian technology!
SYNOPSIS
Our story begins with a couple of Marines doing war games in the dead of night. One of them, Matt Hammacker, is found by Corporal Biggs and shot to death. OK then.
Cut to credits, then as soon as we're back from that, it's the welcome return of Scandal's b-roll where he's driving around thinking, except, as the VO explains, he's really just goofing off when he's supposed to be at work because driving around in a convertible is AWE. SOME. Unfortunately, while he's musing on the simple freedoms of driving fast in a convertible without a single hair going out of place, the po-po gives chase and he ends up in jail, much to Dainelle and Dallas' consternation, not least because Hammacker's widow is there to ask for their help--according to the Marines, Hammacker was killed when his gun fired whilst being cleaned which means that even the United States military is a system that has failed, and so Danielle and Scandal go undercover to flush out why, and to teach Scandal a lesson in discipline, Dallas makes him a Private and makes him drive a Yugo. The only clue they have is that Hammacker sent his wife a $100 bill.
Once there, Scandal collides with the DI on the base, Sergeant Brock Thorne, who takes an immediate dislike to him, assuming he's a suck-up who just wants to coast by. While Thorne is working the cadets to death in an indoor obstacle course (because shooting on location is expensive, I imagine--all the "base stuff" in the master shots is from the pilot) Danielle shows up, having been made a Major overseeing the medical unit on the base. Danielle intercedes when Thorne is busy torturing another of the recruits, Campbell, who fails the rope-climbing test (not least because Thorne keeps yanking him off the rope) and Scandal finds out that Hammacker had stashed several $100 bills in his footlocker. A trace soon reveals that the money belongs to Thomas Holland, the most feared drug smuggler we've never heard of before. Thanks to some exposition delivered where she's chocking him with a tongue depressor, apparently Holland has someone on base helping him ship his money out of the country to its destination in the Cayman Islands (remember, Bay City is on the West Coast--this week, anyways--so they're clearly taking the long way 'round)
Fortunately, this episode is not really that concerned with convoluting the plot too much, because while out on maneuvers, Scandal puts it together--Thorne and his squad are shepherding the money while they're supposed to be out on maneuvers. Unfortunately, Biggs catches him and Thorne warns him off for being so stupid to go off-course, but Biggs figures out what's what and Thorne tells him to keep an eye on him.
Well, glutton for punishment that Scandal is, he immediately tracks them back to the drop-off point next time they have maneuvers, and ends up saving Thorne from a knife in the back. Thorne spins some explanation that is some Contra-esque "we're sending money down to help in the fight for freedom" BS and folds Scandal into their group, which is good, because that means Scandal can facilitate Danielle's infiltration into the drop-off point and get evidence. Unfortunately, before she can, Campbell accosts her, accusing her of impersonating an officer. Campbell is also not a soldier--he's a reporter from the Bay City Post and a friend of Hammacker's who's after a Pulitzer. Danielle takes an immediate dislike to him because he's a bit of a worm, and Campbell acts like they're really hitting it off, which really does not make him any the less punchable.
Anyways, Scandal facilitates Danielle getting some photographic evidence of the money getting shipped out and Campbell messes around and gets the captured by Thorne, who orders them killed then tottles off to do something else, which you just know means that Scandal will prevent them from being capped. Well, sure enough that's exactly what happens. Scandal then taunts Thorne that he's coming for him. There's a bit of a chase, then Scandal hit him with the Chuck Norris Back Heel Kick Of Episode Climaxing and puts him out.
As we flip back for our episode wrap-up, Campbell has broken the story (and completely ruled Cobra out of it) and Scandal, having missed a court date is picking up trash on the highway, which was a surprisingly light sentence for a guy with a lotta speeding tickets who'd no-showed his court date.
ANALYSIS
This may or may not have been the first full episode of Cobra I ever say, and I may still have my copy I recorded off-air from WRVA in Richmond VA (I hope the digital transition finally got rid of the scan-lines I always had over top of whatever I was watching back in the day) at one o'clock on Sunday morning (soon to be replaced by The Mystery Science Theater Hour, which I think we can all agree was a trade-up, yeah?) I might even still have the VHS with this on there, which should tell you a lot about how often I clean out my house.
This episode is perfectly serviceable--the plot isn't overly intricate, and there's plenty of action going on and some crackling dialogue, and the whole thing feels pretty sound and avoids the pitfalls that usually befall Cobra episodes (namely, the plot gets a bit too hyperdense for its own good) and things are drawn pretty clearly. Campbell's not there for any reason save to provide a complication in the final act, but at least he's swiftly disposed of when he's no longer important, and the regulars get a lot of grist out of making fun of him, because he is kind of a load.
Sgt. Brock Thorne is played by Don S. Davis, who you may remember from the first Stargate series, or more likely you would remember as Major Briggs from Twin Peaks. Being that he was actually military, he brings some verisimilitude to the role, and really seems like an aggro drill sergeant and acquits himself well as a genuine threat. He can't do most of the action-y stuff though he is smart enough to grab a gun against the guy who wants to karate-kick him, which you'd think more people would have tried by this point.
Oh, and there's a notable blooper when Scandal saves Thorne from being killed--after he blocks an attack with his M-16 it's visibly bent and Dudikoff keeps holding it up to the camera so we can't miss it. This was not a production that believed in a lot of extra takes, obviously.
It's a good episode, and a sentimental favourite.
DAD WISDOM/THE QUOTABLE COBRA
"There's only one thing that feels even better . . .driving a convertible when you're supposed to be at work."
"Your uniform is creased in all the right places; your stance is ramrod straight. You show the proper respect for your superiors. Think that's what I want?"
"YES SIR!"
"Think again, kiss-ass."
"I'm a writer, not a soldier."
"Yeah, well, I've read your stuff--you're a better soldier."
"'We?' What's this 'we?' You're going home and practicing your spelling."
"They lab peeled this apart microscopic layer by microscopic layer, and you know what they found out?"
"It's an ordinary 100 dollar bill."
"Not bad for a man who can't climb a rope."
"But there is a downside . . .ohhh yeah."
"How come Dallas made you a Major and me a Private?"
"Because I don't have unpaid speeding tickets, now where's that salute?"
"Is this an invitation, sir?"
"Invitation to hell. Are you man enough to accept?"
"My job, Major, is to make these men into Marines. Better they should die here of weakness than on the battlefield where they can take a platoon of marines with them."
"The best part of killing your enemy is watching the life ebb out of his eyes! I'm going to enjoy watching you die!"
NEXT WEEK
Someone gets drive-by paint-balled, and Scandal grapples with Mommy issues, positive visualisation, and his basketball career that wasn't. Oh, and there's a potential assassination or something. Join us in seven for "Haunted Lives!"