Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour (2007)
Sept 3, 2016 9:48:24 GMT -5
Roy Batty's Pet Dove and ganews like this
Post by Return of the Thin Olive Duke on Sept 3, 2016 9:48:24 GMT -5
Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour
Dir. Lisa Comrie
Premiered October 19, 2007
Wow. Wow, wow, wow.
Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour is a miracle. It is the worst movie I have ever seen. I almost don’t want to review it on principle, because it isn’t even fit to be a made-for-TV movie on basic cable in the early 1990s. All but one of the “actors” in this film have no other credits, meaning that I am a more accomplished actor than the entire cast. For a reason.
The plot is impossible to follow, partly because it’s mind-numbingly complicated, partly because I never saw any of it; the film is such an achievement in telling and not showing that they might as well have not bothered filming anything...or recording any sound for that matter, for none of the actors speak as if they understand a word of English. I’ll put it as simply as I can: Sarah Landon (Rissa Walters, with shades of Juliette Danielle in The Room) is distraught from the death of her childhood friend, and is invited by the deceased’s grandmother (Jane Harris) to spend some time in the small town of Pine Valley.
There, Sarah meets brothers David and Matt (Brian and Dan Comrie), who tell her a story from the town’s sordid-ish past. Many years ago, their cousin Johnny was killed in a car accident. Johnny’s father, their uncle Ben (Rusty Hanes), blamed David for the accident and vowed to kill him on his 21st birthday, but died shortly after. David became obsessed ever after with the “Paranormal Hour,” and fears that Ben’s ghost is haunting him, waiting, while Johnny possesses the body of a new kid in town. Sarah’s involvement in any of this is totally nonexistent, and she is our hero. The film, incredibly, ends on a sequel hook.
That this movie was made is not totally surprising. That it was ever shown in one theater, let alone 1,121, is astonishing. The director appears to have made it with her family and a handful of friends, none of whom were professional actors. The film appears to have been shot on an early digital camera with bad focus, and is poorly lit when lit at all. I got some (unintended) laughs out of this, but mostly was bored out of my mind.
The best thing that can be said about Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour is that, if you squint really hard, it seems like something Harmony Korine could possibly have made on purpose. That doesn’t mean it’s watchable, because I would’ve gotten an F if I’d turned this in in film school. Or high school. Or middle school. Probably elementary school, too. It got a 0% rating on RottenTomatoes, and in my opinion can only be, by default, the worst film of 2007.
Sign This Was Made in 2007
It's on Sarah's friend's tombstone.
Additional Notes
Turnip skulls, because Druids.
Next Time: Things We Lost in the Fire
Dir. Lisa Comrie
Premiered October 19, 2007
Wow. Wow, wow, wow.
Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour is a miracle. It is the worst movie I have ever seen. I almost don’t want to review it on principle, because it isn’t even fit to be a made-for-TV movie on basic cable in the early 1990s. All but one of the “actors” in this film have no other credits, meaning that I am a more accomplished actor than the entire cast. For a reason.
The plot is impossible to follow, partly because it’s mind-numbingly complicated, partly because I never saw any of it; the film is such an achievement in telling and not showing that they might as well have not bothered filming anything...or recording any sound for that matter, for none of the actors speak as if they understand a word of English. I’ll put it as simply as I can: Sarah Landon (Rissa Walters, with shades of Juliette Danielle in The Room) is distraught from the death of her childhood friend, and is invited by the deceased’s grandmother (Jane Harris) to spend some time in the small town of Pine Valley.
There, Sarah meets brothers David and Matt (Brian and Dan Comrie), who tell her a story from the town’s sordid-ish past. Many years ago, their cousin Johnny was killed in a car accident. Johnny’s father, their uncle Ben (Rusty Hanes), blamed David for the accident and vowed to kill him on his 21st birthday, but died shortly after. David became obsessed ever after with the “Paranormal Hour,” and fears that Ben’s ghost is haunting him, waiting, while Johnny possesses the body of a new kid in town. Sarah’s involvement in any of this is totally nonexistent, and she is our hero. The film, incredibly, ends on a sequel hook.
That this movie was made is not totally surprising. That it was ever shown in one theater, let alone 1,121, is astonishing. The director appears to have made it with her family and a handful of friends, none of whom were professional actors. The film appears to have been shot on an early digital camera with bad focus, and is poorly lit when lit at all. I got some (unintended) laughs out of this, but mostly was bored out of my mind.
The best thing that can be said about Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour is that, if you squint really hard, it seems like something Harmony Korine could possibly have made on purpose. That doesn’t mean it’s watchable, because I would’ve gotten an F if I’d turned this in in film school. Or high school. Or middle school. Probably elementary school, too. It got a 0% rating on RottenTomatoes, and in my opinion can only be, by default, the worst film of 2007.
Sign This Was Made in 2007
It's on Sarah's friend's tombstone.
Additional Notes
Turnip skulls, because Druids.
Next Time: Things We Lost in the Fire