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Post by ganews on Mar 15, 2021 16:10:09 GMT -5
What do you call someone who steals power? A joule thief. *sniffs, pushes up glasses* That should be someone who steals energy.Β Watt are you talking about, it's just a joke.
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Post by Prole Hole on Mar 16, 2021 11:29:37 GMT -5
*sniffs, pushes up glasses* That should be someone who steals energy. Watt are you talking about, it's just a joke. There's some resistance my terminology, that's all.
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Mar 16, 2021 11:43:35 GMT -5
Watt are you talking about, it's just a joke. There's some resistance my terminology, that's all. Ohm my god I can't believe you made a pun that bad. (Actually yes I can).
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Post by Prole Hole on Mar 16, 2021 16:15:06 GMT -5
There's some resistance my terminology, that's all. Ohm my god I can't believe you made a pun that bad. (Actually yes I can). Wire you questioning my ability to make terrible puns?
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Crash Test Dumbass
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ffc what now
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Mar 16, 2021 18:42:23 GMT -5
Ohm my god I can't believe you made a pun that bad. (Actually yes I can). Wire you questioning my ability to make terrible puns? Keep it grounded, folks; we're not supposed to be splitting off into a battery of related puns
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Mar 16, 2021 20:38:10 GMT -5
Wire you questioning my ability to make terrible puns? Keep it grounded, folks; we're not supposed to be splitting off into a battery of related puns Maybe we could take a coulomb off period.
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Crash Test Dumbass
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Mar 22, 2021 7:48:13 GMT -5
A priest, an imam, and a rabbit all walk into a clinic to donate blood. "Do you know your blood type?" asks the phlebotomist, prepping the rabbit. "I'm not sure", replies the rabbit, "but I think I'm a type O."
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Post by Ben Grimm on Mar 24, 2021 12:08:30 GMT -5
We discovered my grandfather is addicted to Viagra No one is taking it harder than grandma
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Post by Ben Grimm on Mar 30, 2021 8:14:03 GMT -5
Doctor: sorry sir but your body has run out of magnesium Me: 0mg
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Post by Prole Hole on Mar 31, 2021 4:11:20 GMT -5
Doctor: sorry sir but your body has run out of magnesium Me: 0mg Excellent
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Crash Test Dumbass
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Mar 31, 2021 12:39:07 GMT -5
During a cooking competition, I fried my beef in a cannabis-infused butter. The steaks had never been higher.
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Liz n Dick
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Member is Online
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Post by Liz n Dick on Apr 1, 2021 12:11:29 GMT -5
A friend just emailed me this one, and it reminded me to catch up on this thread...
What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?
One requires oinkment and the other requires tweetment.
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Post by πͺ silly buns on Apr 1, 2021 12:29:27 GMT -5
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Crash Test Dumbass
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Apr 1, 2021 15:23:39 GMT -5
I'm an incorrigible punster. People keep incorriging me.
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Gumbercules
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Get out of my dreams, and into my van
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Post by Gumbercules on Apr 7, 2021 7:53:09 GMT -5
I've been teaching my kid proper penmanship. We've moved beyond cursive and have moved on to recursive. So far, we've only gotten to aaaaaaaa...
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Apr 8, 2021 19:41:22 GMT -5
My wife just got a new spinal support. She thinks it will improve her life, but I think it's just holding her back.
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Gumbercules
AV Clubber
Get out of my dreams, and into my van
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Post by Gumbercules on Apr 11, 2021 19:29:52 GMT -5
Instead of calling the Johnson and Johnson vaccine the J&J shot, I've been calling it the M&M. Because you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, you've got to lose yourself...
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Crash Test Dumbass
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Apr 12, 2021 10:13:56 GMT -5
Do not get into a pillow fight with death, unless you are willing to deal with the reaper cushions.
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Crash Test Dumbass
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Apr 21, 2021 15:04:38 GMT -5
The CEO of Ikea was recently elected Prime Minister of Sweden. He should have his cabinet assembled by the weekend.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Apr 21, 2021 16:21:46 GMT -5
The CEO of Ikea was recently elected Prime Minister of Sweden. He should have his cabinet assembled by the weekend. I assume that Allen Wrench is helping him put it together.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Apr 24, 2021 5:22:48 GMT -5
Someone stole the planetarium's clock with a movement that shows the position of the brightest stars in the night sky. Whoever took it is going to be looking at some Sirius time.
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Post by Ben Grimm on Apr 26, 2021 8:37:23 GMT -5
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Post by Prole Hole on Apr 29, 2021 4:39:05 GMT -5
What happens when two snails get in a fight?
They slug it out.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on May 9, 2021 17:59:47 GMT -5
Don't ever stay at the Fiddle Hotel. It's a vile inn.
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Crash Test Dumbass
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on May 12, 2021 8:06:43 GMT -5
OK, so maybe I was wrong and Napoleon didn't design his own coat. But he definitely had a hand in it.
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Post by Gamblin' Telly on May 13, 2021 13:27:58 GMT -5
What kind of vegetables are outlawed on ships?
Leeks
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Post by πͺ silly buns on May 13, 2021 13:59:51 GMT -5
to every joke in this thread (yes! even the ones I've liked)
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Post by Lurky McLurk on May 16, 2021 5:18:21 GMT -5
My friend did a degree in Egyptology but now she can't find a job. She's looking for funding to do a PhD so she can go into teaching Egyptology at college. She thinks it's a good investment, but it sounds to me like a pyramid scheme.
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Crash Test Dumbass
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on May 25, 2021 8:59:43 GMT -5
Gorilla: Did you hear about the gorilla that escaped from the zoo? Zookeeper: No, I did not. Gorilla: That is because I am a quiet gorilla. [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence] -- The Best Gorilla Joke Of 1897
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Post by πͺ silly buns on May 25, 2021 13:30:02 GMT -5
from @sethcotlar
Molasses cookies are delicious, I'll grant you that, but how do people justify throwing away the other parts of the moles?
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