oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Mar 1, 2020 21:07:15 GMT -5
The Call of the Wild (2020): The story is hokey, the CGI is deeply unsettling, and the dog is somehow more of a Mary Sue than any Star Trek fanfiction self-insert character ever to exist.
But you can’t deny that when Harrison Ford cuddles up to the giant goofy cartoon dog with eyes four times the size of the eyes of any other dog or wolf in the movie, he’s cuddling up to a full grown man in a skintight mocap suit.
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Post by Desert Dweller on Mar 1, 2020 21:11:32 GMT -5
The Call of the Wild (2020): The story is hokey, the CGI is deeply unsettling, and the dog is somehow more of a Mary Sue than any Star Trek fanfiction self-insert character ever to exist. But you can’t deny that when Harrison Ford cuddles up to the giant goofy cartoon dog with eyes four times the size of the eyes of any other dog or wolf in the movie, he’s cuddling up to a full grown man in a skintight mocap suit.
This movie will never transcend NOPE status for me. Just NOPE
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Post by Hachiman on Mar 1, 2020 23:55:18 GMT -5
Coco: We watched this to go along with our day cooking Mexican food. Its been a minute since I first saw it but damn I was not ready to watch it again, My grandmother, who was the only relative who actually lived near us when I was growing up, lost most of her memory in the months before her passing so it brings up a lot of memories. Anyway, every time I watch this movie I think I'm good, until I learn I am not.
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Post by Nudeviking on Mar 2, 2020 18:53:18 GMT -5
Police Academy (1984) -
This was a painfully unfunny “comedy” about cops and college and shit. It was every early 80s R-Rated comedy with random tits and ass, random gay panic “jokes,” casual racism, and a paper thin plot tying all that nonsense together.
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Mar 2, 2020 18:59:28 GMT -5
Invisible Man (2020) I liked it! I actually gasped out loud during a scene.
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Post by Mr. Greene's October Surprise on Mar 2, 2020 19:03:32 GMT -5
Police Academy (1984) - This was a painfully unfunny “comedy” about cops and college and shit. It was every early 80s R-Rated comedy with random tits and ass, random gay panic “jokes,” casual racism, and a paper thin plot tying all that nonsense together. Yeahhhhhh... so much gay panic.  |
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Post by Nudeviking on Mar 2, 2020 19:16:39 GMT -5
Police Academy (1984) - This was a painfully unfunny “comedy” about cops and college and shit. It was every early 80s R-Rated comedy with random tits and ass, random gay panic “jokes,” casual racism, and a paper thin plot tying all that nonsense together. Yeahhhhhh... so much gay panic. That's all of those movies though. Every USA Up All Night jam was lousy with gay panic, but a lot of them also would have the cool guy who was okay with doing "gay stuff" to mess with authority figures. Like this had a dude dress in a drag in order to have sex with 80s babes in a different dormitory and also Steve Guttenberg take credit for giving the commandant a blowjob for some reason. |
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Mar 2, 2020 19:57:31 GMT -5
The Call of the Wild (2020): The story is hokey, the CGI is deeply unsettling, and the dog is somehow more of a Mary Sue than any Star Trek fanfiction self-insert character ever to exist. But you can’t deny that when Harrison Ford cuddles up to the giant goofy cartoon dog with eyes four times the size of the eyes of any other dog or wolf in the movie, he’s cuddling up to a full grown man in a skintight mocap suit. I heard a soundbite of an interview Harrison did for this movie, that went something...like...this..
Interviewer: was it weird to roll around with someone pretending to be a dog? Ford: ..well, there was money involved.
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Post by Mr. Greene's October Surprise on Mar 2, 2020 20:42:41 GMT -5
The Call of the Wild (2020): The story is hokey, the CGI is deeply unsettling, and the dog is somehow more of a Mary Sue than any Star Trek fanfiction self-insert character ever to exist. But you can’t deny that when Harrison Ford cuddles up to the giant goofy cartoon dog with eyes four times the size of the eyes of any other dog or wolf in the movie, he’s cuddling up to a full grown man in a skintight mocap suit. I heard a soundbite of an interview Harrison did for this movie, that went something...like...this..
Interviewer: was it weird to roll around with someone pretending to be a dog? Ford: ..well, there was money involved.
Have you seen the video of Harrison Ford answering questions while playing with two puppies? |
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Mar 2, 2020 21:02:59 GMT -5
I heard a soundbite of an interview Harrison did for this movie, that went something...like...this..
Interviewer: was it weird to roll around with someone pretending to be a dog? Ford: ..well, there was money involved.
Have you seen the video of Harrison Ford answering questions while playing with two puppies? No, I haven't. |
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Post by Mr. Greene's October Surprise on Mar 2, 2020 22:15:49 GMT -5
Have you seen the video of Harrison Ford answering questions while playing with two puppies? No, I haven't. I misremembered; it's actually three puppies: |
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Mar 3, 2020 3:39:36 GMT -5
The Gentlemen (2020): Terrible. The movie starts, a character gets shot, and we go straight into the credits. And even worse when we left the people wouldn't give us a refund and kept insisting "no the movie keeps going you should return to the theatre".
-roll credits-
The Gentlemen was super self-indulgent, kinda racist, and obnoxiously witty. And the movie makes weird choices like there's an attempted rape to motivate the main character and then completely jumps past it with a laugh line. And despite all that it's still kind of fun?
So yeah it's a Guy Ritchie movie.
PS: To the other moviegoers, I am so sorry my grandmother clapped and laughed every time someone said the word 'cunt'. Which was a lot. And that at the start of the movie she loudly exclaimed "OOH LOOK THAT'S HUGH GRANT LOOK HOW DIFFERENT HE LOOKS"
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Post by Roy Batty's Pet Dove on Mar 3, 2020 12:25:40 GMT -5
The Gentlemen (2020): Terrible. The movie starts, a character gets shot, and we go straight into the credits. And even worse when we left the people wouldn't give us a refund and kept insisting "no the movie keeps going you should return to the theatre". -roll credits- The Gentlemen was super self-indulgent, kinda racist, and obnoxiously witty. And the movie makes weird choices like there's an attempted rape to motivate the main character and then completely jumps past it with a laugh line. And despite all that it's still kind of fun? So yeah it's a Guy Ritchie movie. PS: To the other moviegoers, I am so sorry my grandmother clapped and laughed every time someone said the word 'cunt'. Which was a lot. And that at the start of the movie she loudly exclaimed "OOH LOOK THAT'S HUGH GRANT LOOK HOW DIFFERENT HE LOOKS" I personally would have found it helpful that your grandmother explained who Hugh Grant is. |
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Post by Superb Owl 🦉 on Mar 3, 2020 17:34:07 GMT -5
The Call of the Wild (2020): The story is hokey, the CGI is deeply unsettling, and the dog is somehow more of a Mary Sue than any Star Trek fanfiction self-insert character ever to exist. But you can’t deny that when Harrison Ford cuddles up to the giant goofy cartoon dog with eyes four times the size of the eyes of any other dog or wolf in the movie, he’s cuddling up to a full grown man in a skintight mocap suit. I heard a soundbite of an interview Harrison did for this movie, that went something...like...this..
Interviewer: was it weird to roll around with someone pretending to be a dog? Ford: ..well, there was money involved.
I'll be honest, I kind of love late-career, clearly not giving a fuck, where's my money, Harrison Ford. |
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Post by Superb Owl 🦉 on Mar 3, 2020 17:36:19 GMT -5
The Call of the Wild (2020): The story is hokey, the CGI is deeply unsettling, and the dog is somehow more of a Mary Sue than any Star Trek fanfiction self-insert character ever to exist. But you can’t deny that when Harrison Ford cuddles up to the giant goofy cartoon dog with eyes four times the size of the eyes of any other dog or wolf in the movie, he’s cuddling up to a full grown man in a skintight mocap suit. I'm kind of bummed that this adaptation seems to mostly be a vehicle for unsettling CGI because I did love me some socialist adventure writer good dog books growing up. |
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Post by Mr. Greene's October Surprise on Mar 3, 2020 20:36:04 GMT -5
The Call of the Wild (2020): The story is hokey, the CGI is deeply unsettling, and the dog is somehow more of a Mary Sue than any Star Trek fanfiction self-insert character ever to exist. But you can’t deny that when Harrison Ford cuddles up to the giant goofy cartoon dog with eyes four times the size of the eyes of any other dog or wolf in the movie, he’s cuddling up to a full grown man in a skintight mocap suit. I'm kind of bummed that this adaptation seems to mostly be a vehicle for unsettling CGI because I did love me some socialist adventure writer good dog books growing up. Wasn't Jack London also really racist and eugenicist?  |
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
Posts: 2,767
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Post by oppy all along on Mar 4, 2020 5:49:24 GMT -5
Guns Akimbo (2019): Wow, you can really draw a straight line between the director turning into a raving lunatic on social media and his writing in this movie. If you're not familiar with it Google 'Jason Lei Howden', the dude has issues.
(Credit to the guy though, he can write and direct feature length movies about people he dislikes online. I can only shut my eyes and dream of directing 'Invisible Goat the Invisible Dolt'. Sorry bud, someone had to say it.)
As for Guns Akimbo, it's your standard high-concept B-movie/soapbox you'd expect from the guy who made Deathgasm, except it stars Samara Weaving and Daniel Radcliffe. They commit fully and crash frenetically through an insane world and a functional narrative that carries the actors through their setpieces nicely. It's fun.
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Post by Nudeviking on Mar 4, 2020 19:10:44 GMT -5
Half Past Dead (2002) - We’re at durag era Seagal but not quite muumu era with this ludicrous film. Seagal is an undercover FBI agent who ends up in New Alcatraz on the night a prisoner is set to be executed for robbing gold bars off a train. Terrorists show up hoping to learn the location of these now hidden gold bars and all hell breaks loose.
Nothing that follows is any good at all. The fights are poorly conceived and none of the plot or motivations of any characters make any sense at all. The train robber tells Seagal’s character where the gold is for no real reason. The main terrorist guy is trying to get the gold because of Gulf War Syndrome and there’s a lady dressed like the Matrix probably because that movie came out not that long before this and was in the cultural zeitgeist (probably also why everything would randomly be in slow motion for no damn reason).
That being said, if you’ve ever wanted to see Ja Rule repeatedly hurled into walls and windows and shipping containers than this is the movie for you. Everyone else can probably skip it.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2020 20:08:31 GMT -5
Half Past Dead (2002) - We’re at durag era Seagal but not quite muumu era with this ludicrous film. Seagal is an undercover FBI agent who ends up in New Alcatraz on the night a prisoner is set to be executed for robbing gold bars off a train. Terrorists show up hoping to learn the location of these now hidden gold bars and all hell breaks loose. Nothing that follows is any good at all. The fights are poorly conceived and none of the plot or motivations of any characters make any sense at all. The train robber tells Seagal’s character where the gold is for no real reason. The main terrorist guy is trying to get the gold because of Gulf War Syndrome and there’s a lady dressed like the Matrix probably because that movie came out not that long before this and was in the cultural zeitgeist (probably also why everything would randomly be in slow motion for no damn reason). That being said, if you’ve ever wanted to see Ja Rule repeatedly hurled into walls and windows and shipping containers than this is the movie for you. Everyone else can probably skip it. Ja Rule did this, but turned down 2 Fast 2 Furious. Half Past Dead is the only segal movie ive seen, so bad. |
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Post by Nudeviking on Mar 4, 2020 20:20:33 GMT -5
Half Past Dead (2002) - We’re at durag era Seagal but not quite muumu era with this ludicrous film. Seagal is an undercover FBI agent who ends up in New Alcatraz on the night a prisoner is set to be executed for robbing gold bars off a train. Terrorists show up hoping to learn the location of these now hidden gold bars and all hell breaks loose. Nothing that follows is any good at all. The fights are poorly conceived and none of the plot or motivations of any characters make any sense at all. The train robber tells Seagal’s character where the gold is for no real reason. The main terrorist guy is trying to get the gold because of Gulf War Syndrome and there’s a lady dressed like the Matrix probably because that movie came out not that long before this and was in the cultural zeitgeist (probably also why everything would randomly be in slow motion for no damn reason). That being said, if you’ve ever wanted to see Ja Rule repeatedly hurled into walls and windows and shipping containers than this is the movie for you. Everyone else can probably skip it. Ja Rule did this, but turned down 2 Fast 2 Furious. Half Past Dead is the only segal movie ive seen, so bad. As Fyre Festival has proven, Ja Rule does not always make the best career choices. Also anytime I see or hear about Ja Rule, all I can think about is that one Dave Chappelle bit. |
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Post by MrsLangdonAlger on Mar 5, 2020 15:18:45 GMT -5
Emma.
A very pleasant movie outing, and Anya Taylor Joy and Mia Goth are both fantastic. The only male lead who is any good is Nighy though: if you ask me tomorrow what any of the other ones looked like I couldn't tell you other than "they seemed to be men".
There are also some clever little nods to class, the music is fun, and the costumes and sets are brilliant. All that being said, it's hard not to just compare it the whole time to the 1996 Emma and to Clueless, the best Emma adaptation of all time, never to be topped.
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Mar 5, 2020 16:56:49 GMT -5
The Lighthouse (2019): Hahaha what the fuck no really.
Is this what men do when women aren't in the room? Prison must be hell.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2020 20:32:52 GMT -5
Onward - Fun movie with lots of D&D-style references and a good heart. Some real LOL moments.
Also, Baby B's first 3D movie - it was "awesome!"
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Post by DangOlJimmyITellYouWhat on Mar 8, 2020 13:08:18 GMT -5
Watched Three Kings for the first time in a hundred years. The little girl with two casts had freckles that looked familiar, so I asked IMDb, and yup...Alia Shawka.
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repulsionist
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actively disinterested
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Post by repulsionist on Mar 8, 2020 20:32:39 GMT -5
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
If this was 10 years ago I might've related to you readers that days prior to viewing this dreck I rescued a live hedgehog from a quiet, dark corner of our house. Remember those days, when things were fun? It had done a variety of numbers on our deck. Never have I been so repelled by the smell of animal scat. I cleaned the mess. Left the hedgehog until the kids were at school. Upon returning, picked up the prickly bugger in a blue hat and walked it about 600m from the house to a wooded area. Game over.
This has been an anecdotal review of saleable, extravagant nostalgia.
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Post by sarapen on Mar 9, 2020 9:14:47 GMT -5
The Lighthouse (2019): Hahaha what the fuck no really. Is this what men do when women aren't in the room? Prison must be hell. Depends. I haven't seen the movie but if the men are doing anything besides talking about video games then it totally doesn't match my experience of what men do when there are no women around. Anyway, I marked International Women's Day by watching Birds of Prey yesterday. Okay, fine, the main reason I left the house was to buy a new lid for my Instant Pot but the cinema was just down the street from Bed, Bath & Beyond so I figured what the hell. It was okay. The movie it most reminded me of was Tank Girl. I liked the actress for Black Canary (IMDB says her name is Jurnee Smollett-Bell and she was also on Full House for a few episodes as a kid). I'm uncertain whether she was the one who was doing the fighting in the alley scene but those were some nice kicks, crisp and precise. I looked her up and it doesn't seem like she has a martial arts background, but if she has classical dance training then a lot of the skills are easily transferrable. That alley fight was good classical taekwondo on display. |
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
Posts: 2,767
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Post by oppy all along on Mar 10, 2020 6:40:26 GMT -5
Good Time (2017) - After watching Uncut Gems and The Lighthouse, this was exactly the movie I needed to bring the Safdie/Pattinson trilogy together. The characters and story veer right on the edge of completely farcical for the entire movie as Pattinson goes on a madcap dash of entirely self-inflicted hardship but it juuuuuuust about holds together as a nervy and intense yet grounded crime drama.
On the Safdie protagonist likeability ratings, I found Pattinson's Connie much easier to empathise with than Sandler's Howard. Hey, he loves his brother so much he's willing to attempt statutory rape. That's dedication right there.
Also, do all the Safdie movies have surprisingly happy endings? Two from two so far.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2020 10:13:05 GMT -5
Matinee (1993)
Rewatched it for the first time since the early '90s now that I'm much more familiar with the nuclear menace movies parodied. Holds up pretty well despite a bland lead performance from the teenage actor and a score that perplexingly alternates between great and truly awful.
Joe Dante is a director I've always wanted to like more than I do, given we share a love of monsters and trash culture. But outside of Matinee and Piranha, I just find his films pretty stupid.
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Post by Celebith on Mar 10, 2020 23:07:34 GMT -5
A couple of years ago we were in Chicago for my brother-in-law's college graduation and we were driving around with my wife's parents, who asked us what we wanted to do in the city. I, naturally, responded with "Oh, I don't know, check out the Willis Tower and the art institute, maybe sneak into a Cubs game, go for a joy ride in a vintage Ferrari, steal a sausage magnate's reservation at a fancy restaurant, sing a little Wayne Newton at a German-American Day parade--you know, the usual Chicago stuff." Their response? Baffled silence. And they responded that way because my Gen X in-laws who came of age in the 1980s had not only never seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off, they'd never even heard of it. It was surreal. I am in the prime demographic for Hughes movies, and have only seen maybe 75% (each) of Ferris, Breakfast Club, 16 Candles and Pretty in Pink, and only in bits at a time. Pretty in Pink has one of the best movie soundtracks, but it was a better movie as Some Kind of Wonderful. |
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Post by Celebith on Mar 10, 2020 23:16:40 GMT -5
The Dead Don't Die - weird little zom-com. I liked it, but I also love shaggy dog stories, and this one goes a very long way for a very shaggy ending. Also, really loved how understated / underwhelmed everyone was. One of the most laid-back apocalypsos I've seen.
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