Olympics Thread

You're right, he wasn't super into the plushie but he did carry it around for awhile... and got this picture, which they cut away from last night.

Liz n Dicksgiving I can't remember what country it is, but thier uniform is just straight up eye searing neon magenta and I love it.

I think Johnny Weir and Effie Trinket are fashion soulmates.

No one?  You might need to check your math, there, good sir.  **hugs Izzy close**

The stupider the mascot, the more I love them.  That's why the Olympic ones appeal so strongly to me.

The Greco-Roman wrestlers also have attainable body types (although they are clearly far, far stronger than me). And as I reminded my wife, as one wrestler was forced to get down on his hands and knees as a penalty and the other wrestler climbed on top of him, they used to do that kind of wrestling naked.

Monday's Olympic musings:

-- Track & Field was kinda a let-down after Sunday, but what wouldn't be?  I wish they'd shown us more of the pole vaulting, especially when the announcers went off on how it was the greatest, most incredible, most emotionally moving competition at that track yet.  Regardless of the quality of the competition, pole vaulting is just crazy and I want to watch more of it.  How do they even do that??

-- Our tivoing had mixed results.  We found ourselves sucked into the open-water marathon swim, which was hilarious TV, but then the recording stopped when the studio host promised they'd be right back with the "thrilling" conclusion of what had, to that point, been a cluster of women splashing around in bacteria- and corpse-filled water while a flotilla of small boats puttered along around them.  Whatever we'd set the tivo to record next did not include either the thrilling conclusion itself or any mention of it.  So... that remains a mystery.  But a fun mystery while it lasted!

-- In other open-water events, we caught some of the men's canoeing.  For starters, it had been advertised as kayaking on the DirecTV guide, so we were shocked to discover this was not the white-water kayaking we remembered from previous Olympicses.  No, this was guys kneeling in canoes like Pocahontas.  Supremely, deliciously, absurdly hunky guys.  Canoeing is my new favorite sport.  One highlight for us was the Italian guy, who didn't win because, we can only assume, the fact that he was singing to a couple of tourists sitting in the front of his boat slowed him down.  (Italian guy: "Ha ha.  I've never heard those gondolier jokes before.  Very clever.")  The other highlight was the paddler from Mozambique, because when he first appeared on the screen with "MOZ" next to his name, I blurted out, "He's from Mozzarella" because I couldn't think of a single place on Earth that could be abbreviated "MOZ" and didn't stop to think that "Mozzarella" is definitely, definitely not where he's from.  It was a Monday night, okay?  Things only got worse from there, as I meekly tossed out, "That's a fairly cheesy effort from him, there."  We're not pun people at stately Dick n Hisses Manor, but a flurry of relatively fun puns from Hugs and Boomer followed ("He's stringing the other guys along!"  "He's melting in that heat!") before I dug myself even deeper with, "They're competing for a big ca-prize.  Salad.  [Long, awkward pause.]  Rollie [the cat], why did you just say that??"

-- Springboard divers are not as scrumptious as platform divers.  I mean, they're not bad, but we were definitely spoiled by the synchro platform dudes from last week.  Anyway, it was crazy that they were being blown off course on their dives by the wind.  It's surprising that the competition continues in conditions like that, but I guess diving officials are a cruel mistress, and hey -- that Russian dude who got blown back into the diving board managed to just barely qualify for the finals, so it all worked out.  For him, at any rate.

-- The balance beam competition was unexpectedly wacky.  What is up with that Dutch lady's gold-medal routine?  Since when is doing a bunch of pirouettes and one or two low-grade cartwheels considered on a par with shit like the actual gymnasticsy stuff the other women were doing?  I mean, I get that the spinning is difficult and worth a ton of points, but come on, International Gymnastics Federation -- that's just lame.  I've really enjoyed that women's gymnastics has, over the last few Olympicses, drifted gradually and slightly further from its anachronistic "women should be lovely and elegant, men should be strong" standards, so it was really jarring to see that routine starting with such a high point value.  And since I watch gymnastics exactly once every four years, I am VERY MUCH an expert in these things and REALLY know what I'm talking about.  (That said, it was fun to see such a different look.)  

I was all ready to be outraged by Shaunae Miller, but then the announcers* mentioned in their assessment of the race strategy that the trailing group had let Miller get too far ahead of them in the middle of the race, so I was like, "Hm.  Perhaps Felix shouldn't have done that, so it wouldn't have come down to a chintzy dive at the end?"  (I still think she was robbed, though.  Heh.)



*Aside: I am loving our track announcers.  Ato and Sanya are so delightful and pleasant, and my mind was utterly blown when Sanya explained you can see who's leading the longer hurdles races by seeing who jumps first.

I gotta say, watching women's gymnastics this year really bothered me, moreso than in previous years. I just don't understand why they have to do those silly little dances in between actual super-awesome gymnastic feats on the floor and balance beam. Like in the floor exercise, they do like 15 flips in a row and jump 15 feet into the air, then they have to stand there and twinkle their toes around for a little bit, before going on and flipping out again. What is the point of the arm swooshes and mincing anyways? They can't be seen catching their breath like regular athletes?

I love how pretty much every sport that really shouldn't be in has some bullshit reason it sticks around but the Princesses/Counts/Barons etc on the IOC having friends that compete in Equestrian is definitely up there. (Also Sailing, I mean I like sailing but...)

Like Curling... I love Curling (playing anyway, I'll watch the Olympic late rounds but not much else) and it's basically two guaranteed medalas of some color every games for Canada but it's only in the Olympics because Rogge is a fan. The barometer for Winter Olympics inclusion is supposed to be widely played in 25 countries across at least 3 continents. The Asian teams were more or less assembled just because it was becoming an Olympic sport and the fact that China is getting semi good at it is because China likes being good at things and has thrown money at a bunch of Canadians to improve their program.

I do hope they keep in Wrestling for the historical aspects but I'm sort of lukewarm on martial arts in general being Olympic sports. The disciplines included seem to be Olympic sports somewhat arbitrarily (Judo/Taekwondo currently in, Karate next olympics I think?), require a ton of different weight classes etc

I admit to being a bit of a curmudgeon about this stuff though, for the most part I think if a sport isn't something anyone with the appropriate terrain could theoretically do without dropping a fortune it probably shouldn't be an olympic sport. Like having to buy skates or skis or a surfboard is fine. Having to drop a fortune on buying/stabling a horse (and dropping $20k a pop flying it to competitions), buying a sailboat, or moving to/having the good fortune of growing up in your country's one place with a luge track or ski jumping tower means it shouldn't really be an Olympic sport.

It was apparently super popular at the actual games though. They'll probably see how it looks after a non-zika version then drop it after middling PGA attendance though.

Maybe Ultimate will get in after baseball gets dropped again (after coming back for Tokyo because Japan)

I can't imagine you could practice every day to build your skills for the olympics in a Boy Scout boat. 

I mean I sailed in Scouts too but it was a once every summer or two thing.

My good friend who was/is a cross country and track guy does a lot of "well, it's not like they have a 200m backward race do they?" and I can't say I have a rebuttal. We would both like to see some swim racing featuring those underwater hoops kids play with in pools or maybe some sort of "laps around a water park lazy river" events.

There are fencing medal events for individuals in each of the three weapons for each sex and for teams in each of the three weapons for each sex. Except there aren't: the IOC ruled that there will only ever be four out of six medal events for teams. It rotates, so no women's team sabre (and one other) this year, have to wait until 2020.

The Olympics seriously needs to bring back tug-of-war.

Bring back the hoplitodromos!