oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 13, 2016 1:01:36 GMT -5
Day 1Over the next week and a half, the ladyfriend and I are housesitting with a charming canine houseguest.  This is Lexie.Things got off to a rocky start as Lexie was somewhat intimidated by the new people. Like any good dog, she immediately sprung into action to defend her home against intruders.  Lexie is cleverly hidden somewhere in this picture. But through reason and persuasion I was able to get Lexie to trust us.  Lexie responding to my reason and persuasion. And now we are friends!  Lexie hoping for more reason and persuasion.
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Post by Tea Rex on Sept 13, 2016 1:04:00 GMT -5
I...love...
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Post by The Stuffingtacular She-Hulk on Sept 13, 2016 8:10:55 GMT -5
More pictures of the canine houseguest, please!
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Post by Pedantic Editor Type on Sept 13, 2016 9:25:41 GMT -5
Love!
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 13, 2016 16:42:31 GMT -5
Day 2This is Lexie. 
This is Lexie's bedroom eyes.Lexie is still having trouble accepting her new houseguests.  Pictured: Tremendous internal conflict. While, at times, she appears comfortable living with us... 
Not what girlfriend and I meant when we discussed sharing our bed with another woman....it still feels like there is an emotional wall there.  She did this twice before I was able to take a photo of it.
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 14, 2016 19:08:03 GMT -5
Day 3Lexie is a lady of many talents.  Most of them pertaining to lying on things. She can lie in things.  Well, mostly in. She can lie on top of things.  She's willing to work harder than I am for no tan lines. She can lie by a window waiting for her owners to come home. 
This is a sad photo  I felt sad so I cut up a sausage for her. 
But then she ate it too fast for me to take a good photo.
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 16, 2016 21:27:56 GMT -5
Days 4 & 5"No opp I will not take photos of the dog while you're at work for you to share with your imaginary internet friends." Day 6This morning I cooked breakfast.  This is how bad bitches prepare food. Lexie is a great admirer of my cooking ability.  "Please let me eat the food." She was captivated at how I masterfully cooked large amounts of meat completely without burning myself. 
"Please let me eat the food and also nuzzle that burn on your finger from when you got distracted and touched the frying pan."I'm pretty sure she wasn't blinking.  "PLEASE LET ME EAT THE FOOD." Fun fact: Lexie's not supposed to eat from her bowl until the human gives her permission.  *dying inside* Bonus feature: Bad Bitch Breakfast.  Not pictured: Surprisingly painful and large Bad Bitch Burn on my finger.
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Post by rimjobflashmob on Sept 16, 2016 21:33:59 GMT -5
I want a Lexie
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Dellarigg
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Post by Dellarigg on Sept 17, 2016 14:34:11 GMT -5
That breakfast is a heart attack on a plate.
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 17, 2016 20:15:43 GMT -5
That breakfast is a heart attack on a plate. I'm not seeing the problem. |
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 18, 2016 18:38:50 GMT -5
Day 7Sometimes we take Lexie walking. Though, if I'm being completely honest, not as often as we should. It's been raining on and off. There are five phases to a walk with Lexie. First is excitement.  "YAY WALKING!" Second is more excitement.  "YAY SNIFFING!" Third is continued excitement.  "YAY SNIFFING WHILE WALKING! OR WALKING WHILE SNIFFING! BOTH WORK!" Fourth is the excitement somewhat tapering off.  "Okay... just gimme a second... more walking and sniffing in just a moment..." Fifth is getting home.  "Let's never do this again." Typically the first four steps occur in the span of about five minutes.
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Sept 18, 2016 18:50:14 GMT -5
I want a "bad bitch breakfast."
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 19, 2016 20:44:48 GMT -5
Day 8Lexie is a very charming dog. This episode, however, is about some of the less charming things she does. 
She just farted on my pillow. She sleeps on everything. 
She probably farted again as well.She comes and goes as she pleases. 
GEE, I WONDER HOW MOSQUITOES KEEP GETTING INTO THE HOUSE AND BITING ME. I AM MYSTIFIED. ARE YOU ALSO MYSTIFIED LEXIE?She feels entitled to your food.
Do dogs have eyelids?When you shut the glass door she's all "LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT" 
Vocalised as "aroooooooooo aroooooooo"And then she will sniff around for a minute before being all "LET ME BACK IN LET ME BACK IN" 
Because she's scared of the dark.Oh, and the unerring eye contact. At all times. 
Because dog necks are apparently made out of adamantium.Did I mention the entitled to sleep everywhere thing? 
"I was lying two feet away and staring intently at you when I noticed that your girlfriend left to use the bathroom. This is cool, right?"Still pretty charming though.
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 20, 2016 6:17:49 GMT -5
Day 9Today is the last full day we spend with Lexie, as her owners come back tomorrow. Honestly it's pretty sad.  Damnit Lexie get your butt off my pillow. Our routine starts with me blearily grabbing my phone and snapping a photo of Lexie.  Fun fact: Lexie is not actually allowed in the lounge room. We... did not stick to this rule at all. Lexie watches me cook breakfast.  "FEED ME SEYMOUR, FEED ME ALL NIGHT LONG" I cut up a sausage for Lexie.  "Wait, I'm trying to take a photo!" *SNARFLE SNARFLE SNARFLE* Lexie gets her morning sunbathing in.  Daaaaaaaaaamn white dogs can jump. We go for a walk.  Australian magpies - because literally everything is more dangerous in Australia. We get home from the walk.  "I reiterate, let's never do this again" Lexie continues feeling entitled to the bed.  "This blanket you got me is very comfortable human, but where will you sleep?" And I help her with her selfie game. 
This is one for the OKCupid profile.
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 20, 2016 22:40:45 GMT -5
Day 10As we prepare to say goodbye to Lexie, I figure may as well post some outtakes.  Lexie is not good at fetch. She has, however, figured out how to watch the neighbours without having to lift her head.  Working hard to not work hard at all. Pretend the motion blur was artistic and I'm not just bad at taking photos.  "I'm so mysterious and deep thoughts thinking" Because I took more than one photo of Lexie lying in her bed structure. 
That doesn't look comfortable at all.As I mentioned...  There's something disconcerting about her eyes. I tried to get Lexie to take some more selfies as well.  See, I put the phone in her paw and then- point is, it doesn't usually work. As I mentioned...  Embarrassing revelation: There are more failed dog-selfies I'm not posting. Last one for the road, Lexie looking regal as fuck.  That's one for the LinkedIn profile.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
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Post by Dellarigg on Sept 21, 2016 4:38:56 GMT -5
Good luck to Lexie in all her endeavours.
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Post by The Stuffingtacular She-Hulk on Sept 21, 2016 8:11:17 GMT -5
I approve very much of this narrative and thank you for sharing it with us.
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Post by Floyd Diabolical Barber on Sept 22, 2016 21:21:18 GMT -5
I've enjoyed the coverage of your house sitting, doggy sitting adventure. Lexie looks adorable.
We have been dogsitting a very friendly and playful weimaraner for the last few days. She is getting along well with the other dogs and cats. Marley, the 2 year old ridgeback/boxer mix is especially happy to have her here, since they are near the same age, and our senior dogs, Cisco and Pepper, don't want to romp as much as he does. I hope he doesn't take it too hard when she goes home. I think she is going to be with us a few weeks.
She's a sweetie.
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Post by Nudeviking on Sept 23, 2016 0:07:21 GMT -5
Bonus feature: Bad Bitch Breakfast. Not pictured: Surprisingly painful and large Bad Bitch Burn on my finger. Is that a young Lexie on that coffee mug of applemango juice or just some other random small dog? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2016 0:12:31 GMT -5
Bonus feature: Bad Bitch Breakfast.
Not pictured: Surprisingly painful and large Bad Bitch Burn on my finger.
Is that a young Lexie on that coffee mug of applemango juice or just some other random small dog? That's either a yellow lab or a golden retriever. |
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Sept 30, 2017 0:16:56 GMT -5
Breaking news: Just got a text asking if I was available to house-sit for a certain dog in a couple of weeks.
Housesitting Adventures with Dog: A Visual Journey, Vol. 2!
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 11, 2017 7:40:40 GMT -5
Season 2Day 1We're baaaaaaaaaaaaack. Though Lexie doesn't seem to remember us.  No offence Lexie but you're a terrible guard dog. And a coward.We searched the house for sausages or some other form of dog treat, but were not able to find any.  We were able to track down ice cream and cans of Jim Beam though. They gave us free rein with the fridge okay?Despite our inability to bribe her with food objects, Lexie did seem to gradually warm to us. Kinda.  "If I can't see them they can't see me."But I think deep down she remembered us.  "Oh right you're the people who let me sleep in the lounge room. Good times."
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 12, 2017 7:18:10 GMT -5
Day 2A challenge with sequels can be a lack of originality and compelling storytelling. When something has already been done, by you, how do you turn around and do it again in a way that is entertaining and not derivative of your earlier work? Can you manage it without resorting to gimmicks and fanservice? To this conundrum, I say... HEY LOOK LEXIE WAS SITTING IN A CHAIR TODAY  No Mr. Bond, I expect you to dine.I'm not going to tell you how much time I spent taking photos of Lexie as she sat in the chair.  This is the 'inspiration' shot.It was a perfectly reasonable amount of time.  This is the 'classy bitch' shot.Through this project I strove to capture the essence of Lexie.  It is well known that you can capture someone's essence by getting really really close to them.I captured a range of moods and expressions.  I'm really happy with this one.But in the end, it came time for Lexie to pause her life as elegant AF chair model and resume her life as needy and flatulent dog.  "Okay human I'm kind of done with this."
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 14, 2017 17:25:13 GMT -5
Day 4As house-sitters, we take instructions from the homeowners very seriously.  And we have indeed kept the front door locked, and there were no other instructions on this note.Alright, we're going to buckle down and keep Lexie from the lounge room because the owners said no.  And as you can see, this is a photo of the lounge room with no dog in it- aww, damnit.Okay, she cleverly disguised herself as a curtain, but we won't be fooled again.  "oh hello smelly human it is me your smelly human partner I think I saw dog outside"Curses! Fooled again! But now there is no way she can sneak into the lounge ro-  "oh hello I was just observing your silly human senses that don't work in the dark"I think we really got through to her this time. I don't think she'll be sneaking in agai-  "oh hello I AM TRYING TO SLEEP HUMAN"NO! BAD DOG! GET OFF THE COUCH!  Awwww no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. You can sleep in the lounge room. We'll just vacuum before the owners get home."Sucker."
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Post by Pedantic Editor Type on Oct 14, 2017 19:19:24 GMT -5
Yay more Lexie!
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Post by Desert Dweller on Oct 15, 2017 0:03:12 GMT -5
This series is very inspiring to me. I, too, am housesitting with a dog. Multiple dogs. They don't seem as entertaining as Lexie. They don't like modelling. I tried to get photos of them earlier, but they seemed vehemently opposed to that idea.
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 15, 2017 23:20:51 GMT -5
Day 5Just chilling with Lexie, watching the soccer/football.  Not in the lounge room, of course. That would be very wrong indeed.Dogs probably understand the rules of soccer better than most Americans do.  She's sad and looking away because that was clearly offside.Just relaxing and- hey what was that?  look at me i'm doing a weird tongue thing my name is Lexie*awkward silence*  "um... I think I heard someone somewhere else doing a weird tongue thing."*continued awkward silence*  "you see nothing human"
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Post by Nudeviking on Oct 15, 2017 23:29:01 GMT -5
Her name is actually Lexi?! MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE!
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 16, 2017 19:21:41 GMT -5
Day 6At 5:30 every morning, we wake up to "AROOO AROOOOOOO PLEASE WAKE UP HUMANS I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE"  "It's weird how many photos you take of that dog" "I love you too"She runs up to the back door and gives the indication that she'd very much like to be outside.  My camerawork is a little unsteady at this time of day.And then you open the door.  "oh wow human it is so much better looking at outside without that invisible wall thank you so much"And then you get annoyed and push her outside and shut the door.  "very funny now let me back in human AROOOOO AROOOOOOOOOOOOO"And then you go back downstairs and reevaluate your life.  "if i'm being honest i just wanted the attention human"And then that evening, when the dog is trying to take a nap, it's time for revenge.  "human I AM STILL TRYING TO SLEEP PLEASE STOP POKING ME"
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 19, 2017 6:47:48 GMT -5
FinaleIn the business and excitement of getting home, which included accidentally drinking expired milk, I forgot to update this thread with the season finale. We're home now! It's quite sad. But we rest easier knowing Lexie is happy.  She spent so much time staring out that window which faces the driveway. This was either her missing her owners, or her manipulating me into feeling bad and giving her food items and pats.We packed up, we left, her owners returned, and most importantly, Lexie can't snitch on us.  This is Lexie lying on the bedding as we packed. She's a good dog.Remember, Lexie loves you all. Except she probably doesn't, as she's terrified of strangers.
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