The Lascivious Snape vs. Alton Brown: EveryDayCook

Awesome, thanks!

Oh, and I'm impressed that you did the anchovy thing and Mrs. Snape didn't have a problem with it.  I tried an anchovy-tinged pasta once, years ago, on the promise that the anchovies would disappear and wouldn't taste fishy at all.  Well.  Hugs and I couldn't eat more than two bites of the stuff, and the house reeked of anchovies for weeks after.  I mean, I'm sure I've eaten plenty of them in restaurants without knowing, but that was my first and last attempt at anchovying in the comfort of my own home.

I was worried, because the aroma had an, I felt, undeniable fishiness. Subtle, but there. I didn't pick it up in the flavor though, and if Mrs. Snape had a problem she stayed mum. 

She knows not to stay quiet out of politeness, either, because if she dislikes something and doesn't tell me, there's nothing to stop me from doing it again. Still, in this case I probably won't be doing it again, because I like my sauce more. 

You, sir, are brilliant!!

HA! I was coming here to say the exact opposite. I've used fish sauce before and it came off way too strong. I tend to always have anchovies on hand, so I use those. 

Maybe it depends on the brand of fish sauce? I think some are more...potent than others.

#8 - Turkey Sliders Burgers

This one just didn't want to come together. Originally slated for last Friday, my plans to make Alton's umami-bombed turkey sliders were beset by daily snafus that left me too irritated and worn to put in the work at the end of the day ... not to mention the buns I'd procured for them went bad on me ... twice! Even yesterday, with me home at the right time and with a fresh bag of buns, fate made a late play to further stymie my efforts in the form of my cutting the fuck out of my ring finger while chopping mushrooms. But no! Not even this spurting, "should probably get stitches"-level wound would stop me. I got the burgers to the table later than expected, but damn it, I got them to the table!

I'm glad I did.

The key to Alton Brown's turkey sliders, which I converted to turkey burgers because sliders are dumb, is the integration of three high-umami ingredients into the patties themselves: chopped mushrooms that have been cooked down, parmesan cheese and brown miso. I'll admit I wasn't familiar with brown miso, and after this affair, I'm still not. I went to the Asian market to find the stuff, glimmer in my eye, and was met with a wall of white, red and mixed misos. Shrio, Akamiso and Awase. Frustrated, I found an out of the way perch (surprisingly hard to do at these crowded and personal space-intruding places) and ran a quick search on my phone for remedy. Nothing. Best I could tell, brown miso did not exist, at least not by that name. I ended up buying a mixed red and white miso, or Awasemiso, because I figured if Alton wanted me to use red or white, he would have specifically said that. I don't know if that was the right choice, but I know that it worked gangbusters in these burgers.

The 3 umami-packed ingredients are perfectly chosen, each with their role to play: the mushrooms bring texture to the mundane and homogenous, the parmesan browns like a dream and brings its characteristic nuttiness, and the miso gives the dish soul, an unctuous, salty, lip-smacking quality that mimics the satisfaction of eating a big beef patty, if not the flavor. To put it simply, this is the best turkey burger I've ever made. And not a drop of Worstershirealkjerae in sight.

If I'm looming on the burger patty, it's because the rest of the dish is zen simple. Form patties, griddle patties, form burger with lettuce, tomato and a dill-yogurt sauce (recipe provided in book), EAT! 

In truth I did not make dill-yogurt sauce, because my store never carries fresh dill at this time of year and also the Asian bent of the miso, I felt, made this a perfect opportunity to put those spicy sesame pickles from the broccoli sandwich back to work. I took my leftover marinated pickles from this recipe and mixed them with mayo to make a rich sauce and used that for sauce instead. I also ditched the tomato because that seemed out of place, and then I used arugula instead of lettuce, because if I buy lettuce I'll never use it beyond the one thing I bought it for, and you can't buy 3 leaves of lettuce. Arugula I'll actually use.

Sorry for the rambling write up this time. I think I'm still in the throes of severe blood loss, but this is a whole-hearted recommendation. Both the Mrs. and I agreed it was the best turkey patty I have ever made, and even Baby Snape who dislikes mushrooms gobbled this thing down.

(Tip: a great side dish for this one is to take fresh green beans that you've steamed or otherwise softened, and then finish them in the pan you cooked the burgers, enrobing them in that fatty, miso-y, mushroomy goodness. A sprinkle of sesame seeds at the end was a nice touch.)

(not my image, and not very reflective of what I made, but eh...)

#10 - Turkey Tikka Masala

Thus concludes Turkey week. As with the earlier tomato sauce, pork shoulder and Brussles Sprouts recipes, Alton's Turkey Tikka Masala intrigued me as a different take on something I already make with some regularity. Before baby came along, I made tikka masala at least every other week, and while I make it less these days - because spicy gravy is the exact opposite of what Baby Snape wants to eat - I still know my old recipe by heart and pull it into rotation when a multitude of leftover veggies need one final use. So proud and confident I am in the flavor and simplicity of my tikka masala, that it's one of the few recipes I've shared in full here on TI.

So let's look at how Alton does his:

The base of the flavor comes from a homemade masala, built on fresh toasted spices including cumin, coriander, red pepper flake, cardamom, brown mustard seed, black pepper, cinnamon and clove. I often bring fresh toasted spices into my own mix, but I always start with a reassuring base of store-bought garam masala. Alton's recipe has no safety net.

From there the methodology is similar: fry diced onions in oil (or ghee) until they start to brown, add grated garlic and ginger and cook until fragrant. When the onions are fully brown, add a can of diced tomatoes and the spices. Cook out some of the moisture until the tomato chunks soften and the liquid evaporates. Add a cup of coconut milk and some lime juice. Mix in your chunks and serve with rice.

While I sometimes serve meat with my tikka masala, I've always found its best application is being refrigerator velcro. Roasted cauliflower, roasted broccoli, zuchinni, bell peppers, peas, firm tofu ... it's a great opportunity to go vegetarian and use up whatever you have lying around. Alton Brown's method involves simulating tandoori flavors by marinating boneless, skinless turkey thighs in a yogurt-masala mixture, then grilling the meat as crazy hot as possible until the yogurt chars. His recipe has you then dice and finish the thighs in the sauce, but since my plan was to leave some meat without sauce for Baby Snape, instead I just took them all the way on the grill, then diced and tossed in the sauce at the last minute.

Verdict:
Good. A very hearty, warming dish redolent with spice character. Thankfully the coconut doesn't bring too much sweetness or, well, coconut flavor, which was good since Mrs. Snape is no fan of the stuff. And I suppose that's certainly a lighter choice than my typical 1/2 cup to full cup of heavy cream. The texture was chunkier, more tomato-y, while mine is velvety (again, cream). One thing I will take from this recipe is the used of the canned diced tomatoes. My recipe calls for a can of tomato sauce, but the tomato chunks in the Alton version become melt in your mouth tender and bring some awesome textural variety to the dish.

Overall we we're agreed ... ... ... mine's better. But maybe we're just used to it. I think next time I crave tikka masala, I'll use my base flavors, swap the lemon for lime, and use diced tomatos rather than tomato sauce and see where we land. 

Alright, 10 down, 140 or so to go.

(No picture this time. I took some, but I just don't have the camera or skill to make tikka masala look like anything other than, well... you know what I mean.)

#11 - Chicken Piccata
Alton Brown's version of this Italian standard stands out for its lack of standing out: there are no odd ingredients, no fancy contraptions, no idiosyncratic methodology. This is about as straightforward and traditional as this book gets. In brief: flatten boneless-skinless chicken thighs, season and then coat with flour. Pan fry in olive oil and butter until brown on both sides. Remove the chicken and sauté mushrooms and capers in the fat. Put the chicken back in, top each piece with a couple thin slices of lemon, then add a mixture of white wine, chicken stock and lemon juice. Braise until tender, then remove the chicken one last time and reduce the sauce. Serve over pasta.

For its simplicity, it builds a lot of flavor. The butter and flour-thickened sauce has an unctuous body, a satisfying coating to the fork-tender chicken. I question the proportions: the 1.5 tablespoons of lemon juice, plus 8 lemon slices, resulted in a sauce that was just this side of bracing. I've made piccata before, but I've never gone this strong on the lemon, much as I like sour, and if I make this recipe again I will hold back a bit.

Some extra notes: Baby Snape has had the flu this week, so expectations weren't high, but she actually ate a fair amount of chicken. She liked it. (Also she's at this adorable age where she'll take one bite of dinner and then loudly exclaim, "Mmm mmm, daddy, this is the best thing you've EVER made!") I used egg noodles not because I felt egg noodles were the right match for this dish, but because an upcoming AB recipe specifically uses them and any time I can buy one ingredient and use it twice is a win for me.

Whoa on Boomer's sweet noodle snack. The recipe of the back of the egg noodle bag was a sweet kugel recipe that scandalized me at first, because based on the picture I was expecting some kind of spaghetti pie kind of thing. What I thought were olives turned out to be almonds. 

If I'd cooked up the whole bag, for sure Mrs. Snape would have taken the noodles for lunch. I had to force myself to only cook what I needed, ensuring I could get the second meal at a later date.

That's a bummer that the onions didn't work out as well, especially considering what a production Alton had you go through for them.  I do like the idea of having the cheese toast on the side, though.  My butcher had this weekend, for the first time I've ever seen them, oxtails.  How could I not buy them?  Of course, I've never even had oxtail soup before, let alone made it, so now I'm on the hunt for recipes.  Guess I'll skip this one, however...

With a couple tweaks I think it could be a great recipe ... honestly take any French onion soup recipe you like and throw a hunk of braised meat in there and you'll be on your way. 

#13 and #14 - No-Can Tomato Soup and "Mr. Crunchy"

When I first started this project I had written off the five or so pressure cooker recipes as necessary exclusions. Good as some of the recipes looked, I wasn't about to go out and buy a pressure cooker just to satisfy some internet column I write for the benefit (?) of like 3 people. Then, quite unprompted, I received a pressure cooker for my birthday in the form of the oh-so-hip Instant Pot, the 7-in-1 mega-appliance. (Which is legit, by the way, but that's another show ... er, post.) Suddenly, pressure cooked soup, quick beans, and a whole host of other things were in reach. So how'd my trial run fair?

Pretty damned good!

No-Can Tomato Soup is an, I think, accidental misnomer. AB's point was obviously that this is not Campbell's tomato soup poured out of a can. It is "no-can" in that sense. Yet the recipe is still built on canned tomatoes, so as a recipe name it's either too dumb or too clever, I'm not sure. Anyway, massive digressions aside, here's how you do it:

Sweat some onions and garlic in your fancy-pants pressure cooker, then add two 28oz cans tomatoes, a cup of orange juice, cinnamon and salt. Pressure cook for 6 minutes. (Instant Pots, and all electric models, maintain a lower PSI than stovetop cookers, so I upped the time to 10 minutes). Once it's done and you've released the steam, blitz it with an immersion blender, add 3 Tbs of sherry vinegar, then with the blender whizz in a stream of olive oil to enrich it. Then, if you're me, crack on some fresh black pepper once it's in the bowl. That's it. Easy-peasy, and comes together in about 15 minutes. 

I think I've shared somewhere on this board that for me tomato soup has two primary objectives. It 1) must taste good and 2) must NOT taste like tomato sauce. On these metrics, Alton Brown's No-Can Tomato Soup is a winner. The orange juice gives it an undeniably sweet tang, while the sherry vinegar does its complex, layering thing. The cinnamon plays mostly on the nose, but we liked it there. It tastes like no other tomato soup I've ever had, and I like that it's relatively light, with no dairy in sight, yet still wholly satisfying. Baby Snape liked it. I will make again.

Of course, what's tomato soup without...  Mr. Crunchy!

So in the book, the tomato soup recipe is paired with Alton Brown's grilled grilled cheese (for once, not a typo). That recipe is fussy. Not hard, really, but fussy. If you're calling on me to fashion a cooking vessel out of foil, I'm going to have to be in the mood. So instead I turned to Alton's take on the classic Croque Monsieur, which translated literally comes out to mean Mr. Crunchy. I made a few swaps based on the ingredients I had, but everything came out well.

Base of sourdough bread (I used Tuscan artisanal), smeared with whole grain mustard (I used dijon), topped with ham (I used turkey), topped with bechamel, topped with gruyere (I used fontina and emanthaler), topped with herbs de provence, then broiled until crispy and brown.

Honestly, it was the best croque monsieur I've ever had. Not that I've had a lot. This sandwich toast thing I've always found to be dry and alarmingly flavorless when I've had them at restaurants, and always too bready. Not so Mr. Crunchy, which was rich, cheesy, toasty and positively sublime dipped in tomato soup. I also had fun arranging them to everyone's taste. I had the full Mr. Crunchy, Mrs. Snape had no turkey (because she can't have deli meat right now) and Baby Snape had turkey and cheese, but no bechamel or mustard. She joined us in dipping away in the soup. In fact, in the cutest thing ever, she thought it was her idea. "Mama, dip your bread in the soup. Isn't that so yummy!?"

Glad to be back, glad to have my Instant Pot, glad to have two great new recipes. Looked like this:

I got EverydayCook from the library, hoping for some inspiration. It's funny, I love the knowledge of Good Eats/AB, but his recipes often seem a bit fussy on technique. I'm not sure I'll end up making much, though the oatmeal banana bread is kinda calling my name. Must add chocolate chips, though.

Oh yes, the chicken parm meatballs sounded good too, I think I'll use that one.

I could never get TWBE to eat a broccoli sandwich, sadly. (I'm honestly not a huge broccoli fan myself.)

I made the chicken parm meatballs last week, and they were good. They didn't quite get to "chicken parm" because there's a big difference between breaded and fried vs "rolled in panko, briefly fried, then cooked in tomato sauce and cheese" but it was overall satisfying and tasty.

I had to return the book to the library, but I took a bunch of pictures of various recipes I wanted to try.

But I don't have a stand mixer (for, say, the pizza dough) or a candy thermometer (for the Salty Chocolaty Peanut Buttery Crunchy Bars) so a few might not happen.