Billy's Guide to the Shoutbox

Hello fair newbies. I am billy, one of the mods here. I have posted the occasional bon mot/dick joke on the avc since 2008 or so. When I registered, I chose the sublimely forgettable name "billy boy", to which I later added things like "noted gobshite".  On the avc I always used an image of the Bearman from The Shining as my avatar picture because of the importance of confronting and perhaps even lubricating one's irrational fears.

This is an informal fireside chat about the shoutbox, which can seem a bit off-putting, perhaps even cliquey, to newcomers used to the AVC or AVCAD.  We do like newcomers, though--it's often nice when someone new joins in.

First, you don't need to use the shoutbox.  As you may have noticed, there are a lot of threads here. You cannot see them all until you post 100 times--there is a "TMI" board that you can access after your 100th post.  There is also another secret forbidden board of mystery that you will never see, but that's not important right now.  If you don't use the shoutbox, the box regulars will understand and compassionately blame your parents for making you unable to take the heat.   

As soon as you register, we recommend you post in the "introduce yourself" thread.  Then, if you like, go ahead and chat in the shoutbox at the bottom of the screen, just above the ad of the sad-faced orphan that is targeted at you because Proboards knows about you. The shoutbox is in real time, and sometimes it can move very quickly with more than one conversation happening at a time (leading to Overshare Category #1, which I might explain later). At other times, it is nothing but sad crickets riding tumbleweeds because it is three in the morning in North America and the Europeans are sleeping off their wine and our couple of Australian and Asian users are actually working at their goddamn jobs for once.

There is a general atmosphere of conviviality, on top of a layer of bitterness and animosity, which sits atop an even thicker core of conviviality.  It is rare and frowned upon to insult people in any way that could actually hurt their feelings.  When someone says something inane, it is of course fair game to attack their thought with some scorn.  We have all been dandled upon O'Neal's knee to some extent.  That said, I would wait a bit before being too snarky when someone is talking about something they actually like.  Once you get to know people and have developed some affection for them, then you can start ribbing people a bit about their interests or perhaps even their bizarre thought patterns.  I myself have called people ninnies, gwonks, blarg factories, etc., but I do this only with people I actually like.  Obviously we don't use actual insults, nor do we openly diagnose people's raging mental health issues.

When I was green as the buds of May in the shoutbox, one of the things that threw me was the way people referred to each other.  Some people change their avatar names often because otherwise they would bottle up and die, but are still referred to as, say, "mpc" or "rando" or "matty".  Hover your cursor, if you have one, over the name if you're not sure who they are.   Even then, it will take some time to learn that "tih" is now "invisible goat" or "goat", instead of "the invisible handjob" as he was on the avc.  For the most part, people's names match what you see, or at least shortened versions thereof.

Over time you will get to know various user's interests and personalities.  Some people are legitimately and unironically interested in wrestling.  Some people talk about video games till your brain starts falling out of your ears like bits of aloo gobi.  Some people like to chat about their day and troubles and excrement.  Some people will speak earnestly and openly of the difficulties of life.  Some people will speak of tv or movies.  Sometimes there is political talk.  Sometimes philosophical ideas get batted around idly, like kittens pawing lazily at a ball of yarn. 

Yes, we have touched on all things in the box, including sex, which is a thing that happens to some people; however, the point of the shoutbox is not for you to find people to mate with--some just like to talk about it sometimes.  If you develop an interest in someone, make goddamn sure it's mutual so that you are not being creepy.  It's much safer to be content with being friends with people here, but we are presumably adults. 

When you come into the box, you have the option of joining the conversation that is happening or of trying to start a new one.  I would recommend joining conversations when you can, but of course every conversation is started by one person.  If all you ever do is barge into the box like a junksick walrus and rant about what's on your mind, without regard to the conversation, at a certain point I will diagnose you.  This diagnosis will never be uttered or shared with anyone, because again we do not diagnose people in the box, but it will be there in my files.  So:  join in, or start something.  If the conversation bores you and no one is paying attention to you because they are engrossed in wrestlingbox or the deuce knows what, I suggest doing something else for a while.  Sooner or later the conversation will get back to important matters like why one should cook a frozen chicken for a longer period of time than an unfrozen one, or that one time a user had no choice but to punch a dog in the face.

There are some injokes, because some of us have known each other for years now.  People have come and gone.  By and large, though, it's accessible and there if you want it.  If you don't understand a joke, just ask and usually someone will explain.

There are no upvotes for clever shouts.  Sorry.  I myself use an informal/irrationally rigid system of "ha" and "hahaha" when someone pleases me.  It's nice to add their names so they know to whom the ha/hahaha is directed.  You can also groan, particularly when punbox is happening. 

As to doxxing, it is up to you how much you want to share about your life.  People here mostly know my real name ("Not Billy"), that I live in Winnipeg for some reason, my job, my height, my weight.  These things are given freely by some.  Others have had a harder life and are much more vague.  I will likely be more vague with new people, until I see that they are not out to steal my identity to sell crippled turtles to war heroes or whatever.  Once I figure out you're ok, then I'll let you know I'm 6'4 and 170 pounds and HOLY SHIT OLD.  Here's the important part:  just because I've told you that I'm 167.5 pounds now since writing that last sentence, that doesn't mean I want you blarging it all over the shoutbox when I'm not there.  I think we can be vague about people, e.g. (USER) lives in Iowa the poor fucker, but unless they're consistently open about their personal details, assume that that information is only theirs to tell.  The more personal the detail, the less likely it is that you should repeat it publicly.

The shoutbox is ephemeral.  Your brilliant imitation of Sean Connery as Gandalf will likely be lost to the sacks of time.  There is one exception to this:  the Shoutbox Overshare Thread.  This is in the TMI Board, which you can't see yet probably.  Basically it is cut and pasted bits of shoutbox, without editing or comment.  I once classified five distinct types of overshares, but I have no time to explain that nonsense to you right now.  It's there in the overshare thread if you patiently read all 300 pages of it.  If you are overshared and are embarrassed by it, you can either ask the person who posted it or a mod to take it down.  If someone shouts "overshared", that simply alerts people that a post has been made in the thread.

I strongly recommend giving it a try.  Being in real time makes it a challenge, as you have to be quick.  There are some brilliant people here...and there's mpc ("most popular commenter"), who is the sole person I am going to warn you about.  He is real, but also playing a bit of a character.  If he seems to despise you, take it as a sign of affection.  Or contempt, I forget which one it is.  No matter.

Happy shoutboxing!

p.s. Please see the post below from oppyu on how to get the box updating in real time. The short version: either click on the little box with the refresh arrow just above the box, or type something like "hello", or a period. The box will now be in real time.  Sometimes it lags if your service sucks or proboards is busy. Sometimes it crashes and there's a picture of a blue bear attacking an office worker. It usually works fine if your service is good.