Prescription: Murder (S0E1)

A Rorschach ink blot spreads across the screen, accompanied by the words “Prescription: Murder.” The lead actors: Peter Falk, best known then as one of the few people to be in both The Great Race and It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (okay, so I forgot how many “mad”s there were), and Gene Barry, star of War of the Worlds and a show called Burke’s Law where a millionaire rides around in the back of a limo solving crime. Probably none of the people making this one-off TV movie could have guessed it would spawn three intermittent decades of beloved classics.

But the title character, Lieutenant Columbo, had come a long way already. He first appeared, in the person of actor Bert Freed, in a one-off episode of The Chevy Mystery Show in 1960. (IMDb doesn’t have much about that anthology series, but Vincent Price appeared in an episode and eventually became the host.) Then Columbo migrated to the stage, with the script from the TV episode adapted into a play starring Thomas Mitchell (age 70) as Columbo, Joseph Cotten as the murderer, and Agnes Moorehead as the victim. After Mitchell’s death, the original script returned to television as this episode, having been performed on and off for nine years.

It’s a pity Joseph Cotten didn’t return as the murderer; Gene Barry, in this episode, is not exactly fascinatingly three-dimensional. He’s a malicious creep of a psychiatrist who murders his wife apparently to run away with his new girlfriend, but then it turns out he doesn’t care for the new girl either. The only motive set out is when he jokingly tells his victim, “I married you for your father’s money.” We never see what you could call a nice side; his lips are always firmly pressed together, he’s always plotting, and even when fishing he doesn’t enjoy himself. Why is he a killer? It just seems like he was destined to be one all along.

On the other hand, there’s Peter Falk. He looks young, and his hair is scandalously well-cut, but he is clearly the right choice for this role, shabby and hoarse beyond his years. Columbo is forgetful and mentally klutzy, or appears that way, asking for pencils and remembering to ask “one more thing.” There is a temper, too. He hounds and hectors a witness, irritation growing to an actual burst of anger, even as she demands to speak to a lawyer. We can be thankful this aspect was removed from later Columbo scripts.

While this is a standalone TV movie and the actual pilot does a better job introducing the series, in one respect "Prescription: Murder" declares the purpose of the entire show. The murderous shrink tells Columbo this, in the movie’s best scene: “You’re a bag of tricks, Columbo, right down to that prop cigar of yours….You are the textbook example of compensation. Adaptability. You’re an intelligent man, Columbo, but you hide it. You pretend you’re something you are not. Why? Because of your appearance. You think you cannot get by on looks or polish, so you turn a defect into a virtue. You take people by surprise, they underestimate you, and that’s where you trip them up.”

“Boy, you’ve got me pegged pretty good, doctor,” Columbo says. And in the very same scene he proves it, letting the doctor’s ego give him away. Barry even tells Columbo “you’re using flattery,” and two minutes later falls for flattery (“[this murderer] is too clever for us”).

Also already apparent: Columbo is a detective for the 99%, busting rich and pretentious villains. Check out the obnoxious party game the murderer is playing in the very first scene, forcing his guests to identify early psychologist Josef Breuer. One guest gossips to another, “He’s got the best wine cellar in town.” Columbo, meanwhile, has the shabby coat that Falk pulled out of his own closet at home for the role, and when he slumps into the shrink’s office, he expresses relief that there’s no couch: “I tell ya, you put me in a horizontal position and I fall asleep.”

People clearly and rightly saw a lot of potential in the Columbo character. The movie reeks of the 60s today (even with a sexist line about women being blabbermouths cut out of later releases, according to IMDb), but hey, every legend’s got to start somewhere.

One more thing count: 2
Just-gotta-tie-up-loose-ends count: 2 (plus the murderer saying something about "that guy and his loose ends")

More than just one more thing:
- Columbo accepts a glass of bourbon on the job in this episode.
- Bing Crosby was offered the role of Columbo and declined, saying he wanted to spend his time playing golf. The second choice was Lee J. Cobb (12 Angry Men), who had a scheduling conflict. Peter Falk was considered too young; the previous Columbo, after all, had been 70.
- I like the shot where Columbo’s face appears in a broken mirror, but this is not the most stylishly directed episode; the music was laid on with a trowel.
- The murderer definitely has a "type": his wife and lover share a dress size.
- One of the things I love about this series is the 5 minutes or so where the murderer is still fixing plans to avoid arrest, and you're wondering, "How are they going to get away with this?" Like the initially confusing sequence where he leaves a dead body in his home and apparently takes his girlfriend off to Mexico.
- If you're into 1968 suits and ties, this blogger has screengrabs of Gene Barry's outfits throughout the episode. Here's one: