The Tolera-beet-lity Index Bob's Burgers thread

We start things off with Teddy telling about a job he's got up at Craggy Neck at a fancy beach house which he maintains and needs the lawn furniture put away before the storm. Linda thinks maybe Teddy could do with some help moving the furniture into storage what with the storm coming so away the Belchers go to Craggy Neck. Over at the beach house, everyone likes the house and the view, all very pretty. Louise finds a door unlocked, Linda comes along and a little bit of surreptitious "it just happened like that" excuses and they're inside and it's very pretty in there too. Bob really doesn't want them inside seeing as they were only supposed to move the furniture (though Bob had to do that alone) but a bit of poking around shows it belongs to a rich vacationing couple and even Bob isn't immune to the appeals of a big house with fancy boat magazines and a fully attended games room. During Linda and Louise's snooping for info about the couple they find the husband made his money from clockmaking and also that he remarried down to a younger wife named Helen which Linda does not appreciate. Teddy comes by wondering why they're inside briefly, he knows it’s a nice place and need to check it out a bit while nobody’s there. Louise and Linda aren't happy with Mr. Larry Goodwin but Teddy plays as the exposition here knows nothing about him, he died before he started working there when he fell off the widow's walk at the top of the house onto some boulders. Helen saw it from the rose garden apparently which immediately means murder most horrid or at least does to Louise and Linda. Bob is thinking this is stupid because it's puling a lot out of nothing and Linda's standing animosity with Helen for being the younger bride. He also thinks she might be sweet on Teddy and for Teddy it's a good thing for anyone to pay attention to him in that way, murderer or not but Linda continues on, even going to recreations of what she thinks happened on that fateful night involving her pushing him off the roof or arranging for the barrier to break. Thing is she's not handy even a little so no way she could have sabotaged the railing, whole reason Teddy works for her maintaining the place. Suddenly the lights go out, Teddy reassures the family it's just a brownout but once the lights come back on, they find Helen standing there!

Helen's back from New York having decided to take a breather and seems very pleasant, welcoming the Belchers to her place though everyone is slightly wary, everyone but Bob and Teddy. Teddy because he knows her better than them and doesn't think she's bad and Bob because he's Bob and currently out on the sofa having fallen in a bad way during the re-enactment from earlier. Helen suggests some painkillers for Bob, Linda thinks it's poison but who'd give you poison as a pill? Next up is hot cocoa, still suspect Linda figures they need to leave now but not with Bob's back in that way and oh yeah, Tina and Gene are there, more just the Greek chorus doing one-liners, nothing special. Anyway, Linda and Louise probe a little more, turns out he's not a great rockclimber but she is and she didn't see any of his money, just the three homes he owned. Linda, having had most of the reasons for murder levelled out, arranges for a meeting in the bathroom with the kids but not Bob as the painkillers are kicking in and they're the good kind. They need to get out of there, seems he really is just a klutz and fell off his own roof, no sinister motive but if anyone asks, they solved it and were wonderful. While this is going on, Bob in a semi-cogent state tells Helen about Linda's assumption she killed him which seems likely as Linda returns with the kids and knows they didn't go there to poop, Teddy comes back and tells them the roads are flooded so they're all stuck for the night.

Later, Louise remains confident in Helen's guilt, Teddy wants to be propositioned to spend the night in her room and Linda is keeping a keen eye on Helen until she's dragged off to the widow's walk fairly forcefully by her and confronted on the allegations that she murdered her husband. Seems she didn't like being married to him or at least found the practice of being married bothersome but she didn't murder him and saves Linda from a similar fate of falling over onto the boulders (and a non-subtle reminder she either needs a better bra or one at all). Slightly wackadoo Bob meanwhile tells Louise about what's she's doing because of his blabbing to Helen about Linda's supposition in his drugged haze and has to save her. Having finally resolved that she didn't push her, Louise comes up with her sharp claw-like nails and tries to stop her from killing Linda though her and Helen are now gal pals and Teddy who has also came up with everyone else has to defend her against those crazy Belchers for assuming the worst about her and that she didn't kill Larry. Teddy's clearly in love with her and likes her a great deal besides as a person as she's exceptionally nice and has interesting collarbones only for Teddy to back up from having said those things both literally and figuratively before falling off himself hitting pretty much every area of the house below before landing on the ground, he falls from roofs all the time anyway so it's nothing special. Seems Teddy and Helen have a romantic thing going so that's all done and everyone goes back inside, Bob though finds a toolbox stuck in the mud containing one claw hammer and two used nails, Helen knows he won't remember a thing about this so guess she did do it after all. After a nice little thing where Linda suggests for Teddy and Helen to come have lunch at their restaurant one day and Helen plays pusher to a briefly addicted Bob seems all is concluded, the black widow captures another prey and the secrets stay secret on Craggy Neck.

We kick things off with Bob going produce huntin’ for his terrible burgers with Louise when she spots someone, Hawk from the film “Hawk and Chick” that they used to watch. They’re somewhat awestruck but as you might expect they’re driven by the need to talk to their hero though Bob is somewhat saying they shouldn’t until he gets on a bus, they follow him onto the bus and find that omg, it really is him! They continue to stalk him across town into a hotel only to be attacked by Hawk, real name Shinji Kojima and in another life played by Pat Morita. He’s quite pleased to see them but they’re super overwhelmed after being scared to death they might get attacked by a mop-wielding samurai and of course being in front of Hawk. He’s in town mostly because he’s searching for… something but changes subject by asking if they know anyplace good to eat, Bob suggests the restaurant and though Louise doesn’t think it’s good enough for Koji, they end up there anyhow. Linda is pretty thrilled to have him around, taking pictures and being very Linda, Tina and Gene just stand around being weird and/or stupid and cracking one-liners (my contempt for them is weird this episode). Bob meanwhile brings out his box of old Hawk and Chick VHS tapes to go watch with the family and Koji; they think it’s going awesome only to find he’s crying because he’s in town to find his daughter Yuki. He hasn’t seen her in 30 years since she left for the US, he blames himself for the strained relationship and now she’s an accountant of all things… an accountant! Anyway, rude family huddle, Louise comes up with a plan to get them back together, hold a Hawk and Chick film festival and bring her along that way, everyone agrees even Koji.

Over at the nearby movie theatre, the manager is unwilling to bend on the idea that a fairly obscure set of films justifies closing down the place for a weekend, it’s an indie place too, sounds like the sort of thing they’d be all over but no dice, prior experience with a disgusting mess after a Meg Ryan film festival is why not. A worker there, Dominic, however is a huge fan of Hawk and Chick and knows others who’d come but it’d have to be sneakily and after 11pm after the manager goes, Louise is down for sneakiness as you’d expect so we’re on, a midnight showing of one of the Hawk and Chick films it is. Everyone seems up for this, Tina and Gene are distributing fliers while Bob and Louise are down at Yuki’s workplace, Deduction Junction, to try and ensnare her. She refuses, seems she didn’t want her father’s life as an actor which is why she left for America, Koji didn’t take it well and made things bad between them for her rejection. She has no reason to return to that part of her history and Louise is taking this less than well being completely dumbfounded by why Yuki wouldn’t want a part of this. Yuki doesn’t know yet that her father will be there so Louise hits upon a different angle, trickery! Louise pushes the idea of it being all about her and adoring fans so she decides what the hell and goes in with this crazy scheme.

So, got something going on, Louise’s expectations seems unnecessarily high but at least they got their print for the big show, only trouble is that it’s an original print from Japan so it lacks any dubbing or subtitling, might be an issue for a podunk town like theirs but Gene comes up with an idea… dub it themselves. Cringe comedy, your boat has sailed into port, toot toot. On the night, it’s all about just getting things going, deception from some 40-odd people waiting to come in and getting Yuki to the cinema with the attendant weirdness from the other Belchers. After almost having them see each other due to mistiming, everything is going alright during the screening, the dubbing isn’t absolutely terrible, just mostly terrible and it’s not great for Yuki either given this is kinda painful for her to revisit but there’s a new problem in that their little tape deck has run out of batteries forcing Bob and Louise into some hurried improv but that’s no good, Yuki is leaving and their plan is failing. They try to get it back by playing Hawk and Chick and transcribing the intended conversation between Yuki and Koji, trying to reconcile them through the power of really bad acting even if it allows Louise a minor existential crisis regarding her future, either way all ends well, ends up far too sappy for my tastes, let’s just move on.

Local business owners have congregated in Bob’s Burgers, seems there’s a rent hike and while there’s always been rent hikes this one puts it too far out of the budgets of most businessowners on Ocean Drive. Bob as ringleader decides that in order to combat this, they’re simply not going to pay as it’s the only leverage they have over Mr. Fischoeder. They go on a small march down to Fischoeder’s residence but he’s already prepared for them with mojitos which everyone takes willingly except Bob who has a speech which starts with “the dictionary defines ‘rent’ as” which always means something wonderful to follow, specifically a quote from Ghandi cut short by Fischoeder. He expected a rent strike because it’s what his tenants usually do if they form a rabble outside his place; it is their only means of leverage after all. He has a better means of settling these things as owner of the wharf, a large scale water balloon fight on the grounds of his home. Basic rules are this, get wet and your rent goes up but for one lucky business owner who manages to stay dry they end up getting their rent halved. It’s a smart move on Fischoeder’s part, he gets to keep their rent hikes regardless of the outcome, it’s a divide and conquer tactic knowing self-interest will win over solidarity for lower rents in general and he gets to see his little tenants fight for their money. Bob however isn’t pleased and knows it’s a bad idea because it breaks their organised protest group into factions and if they’re fragmented and looking out for themselves it defeats the whole point of them coming down there because only one gets to win while everyone else loses. Doesn’t matter though as they all want that 50% off their rent and so the game begins.

Everyone seems down for it, the kids are because they’re kids and they’re not going to ignore a water balloon fight and everyone does seem pretty eager even with Bob’s protestations to not participate. Those who are tagged out though get to have some real nice snacks so it can’t be said that Fischoeder doesn’t know his Sun Tzu when it comes to controlling those under him. After seeking cover, Tina and Linda are the only ones with Bob who’s trying somewhat futilely to keep the other tenants on board with the protest, Louise and Gene are long gone and even Linda is being swayed by snacks as she’s real hungry. After calling everyone dumb for doing this, Sal, the guy who runs the sex shop, agrees and goes with him on standing together against Fischoeder except Fischoeder is wily and knows to turn the tide against him in their little standoff by telling them from the top of his home through a megaphone there’s still more balloons should anyone run out and to target Sal and Bob. Elsewhere on the grounds, Louise and Gene are looking to claim a very fancy treehouse from Harold and Edith, just those old coots have a heck of a good arm in Edith and they ain’t budging from their possible vantage point. Linda though is thinking of a way to splash others by using her bra as a slingshot, Sal likes it but Bob is less fond of it and just wants to get the tenants regrouped by going into a hedge maze. Only thing is that Fischoeder is still able to see his movements and is still announcing Bob’s location to everyone. In the hedge maze, Tina splits off to handle Jimmy Jr. and Zeke who are out of balloons but Tina who has just one left. Tina has an array of questions to who should be hit and it’s mostly Zeke winning seeing as Jimmy Jr. is pretty much an idiot with a barely existent butt. Back with Bob, he’s still trying to convince others that they shouldn’t be fighting each other but Sal is being turned around by Jimmy Pesto by trying to convince him he wants that 50% off his rent, times are tough for sex shops after all. Sal buckles under the strain; Linda takes one for the team and loans out her bra for the Bazonga Bazooka strategy. Before leaving she advises Bob to screw these guys because they’re too far gone and if he wants to get anyplace he has to win and Bob decides that he really does need to win if only to get one over on Fischoeder so Bob’s in the game now.

He’s irritated that it’s come to this but he’ll fight if it means winning nailing Mort pretty quick off the bat, Gene and Louise come along and take Linda’s bra as they really want to take those old farts down a notch. Tina meanwhile is still asking the sort of questions you’d expect a romance obsessed girl like Tina to ask, Jimmy Jr. though is getting sick of it and Tina decides to throw it at him but Tina’s lousy at throwing so he catches it and being the one with leverage decides to almost throw it at Tina but Jimmy Jr. is very stupid so is easily confused by a “look over there, a hedge” ruse and makes her escape. Also going on is Gene and Louise’s bra slingshot idea, it’s very effective and they get to go inside the very fancy treehouse, when a treehouse splits across two trees you know it’s fancy. Anyway, they go inside and find it’s as wonderful as they thought but unexpected surprise, Felix is living there right now due to his brother kicking him out. Bob though has gone insane and is entirely ready to win this at any cost as shown through montage. By the end, it’s down as usual to Bob and the Pestos to see who’ll come away with slightly reduced rent at the behest of everyone else once they notice they got bilked. Tina gets hit out pretty quick and though Jimmy has his dumb useless retarded meat shields called Olly and Andy to protect him, Bob has his snipers to target him… well, they would if they weren’t being shown around by Felix but enough yelling gets their attention. The distance is a bit too far for Linda’s bra but Felix has a catapult of his he uses to send over his laundry still sitting on the roof of the main house. They fire at Jimmy but thankfully he had two dim-witted kids to protect him but upon their dismount from him end up making him drop his balloons proving they have one job, stand there and do nothing because anything else they’ll just mess up and even that they’d find a way to mess up, useless useless dumbasses. Down to the end though and while Bob has his balloon he holds the cards and decides this is the right time to chastise everyone for being self-serving jerks and that he really shouldn’t rely on people because they’re jerks. His balloon pops though so Fischoeder just declares that one a tie and instead gets everyone against Bob by offering $50 off their rent each time they hit him while he gets $50 added for each hit. It’s highly unfair, Bob can’t win this realistically but nonetheless he now needs to run because the mob wants lower rents.

Bob, now on the run, passes near Felix’s treehouse and Louise tries to slow down the mob with Felix’s dirty laundry along with Linda using a hose as a tripwire. Bob makes it away but ends up near the corner of Fischoeder’s compound where the old Wonder Wharf rides go to die. He hides in one of the ferris wheel rides but the kids find him and end up basically drawing attention to him by sitting in there with him, family solidarity can sometimes be a pain… well, it always is but I mean even in-universe it can be. Anyway, Jimmy spots him and while the kids are a net negative, they did at least realise he’s terrible at running and push the wheel around so he’s at a higher vantage point. Linda stands against the mob but they seem pretty desperate so instead of stopping them, she tries to make them stop themselves through good old guilt. It’s pretty effective and just in time, Mr. Fischoeder has shown up. The crowd drop their balloons having been sufficiently guilted and regroup as a team, chanting their slogan “Rent Hike, Rent Strike”. Mr. Fischoeder isn’t happy, he didn’t want to seem the bad guy though he entirely is and Bob might have hurt his feelings though it’s only because his generally unfeeling way towards those beneath him prevents him from being the sort of landlord he wants to be. He reneges on the rent increase for a year, which for them is something of a victory, and everything ends with a balloon fight free for all.