Video game talk, anyone?

I guess another way of putting my earlier comment would be: the Souls games aren't like Fallout: New Vegas, Mass Effect, or Baldur's Gate 3, where you have to babysit relationships with characters or really "roleplay" much at all. Sure, there are quest lines, and some less savory characters, but there's no politics. You are almost never rewarded for drawing un-provoked aggro. Just talk to people. If they don't like you, they'll let you know.

I can think of exactly two characters worth killing in Dark Souls 1, because I want their items more than I want them to be alive, but it's nothing major.

Two questions:

1) Does the Lightning Spear Guy guarding the entrance to Ent-land count as a boss?

2) If you’ve defeated The Dark Souls so many times, why have you never done a kill-all-the-non-hostile-NPCs run?

You might be competing in a kill-all-the-non-hostile-NPCs speed run at AGDQ.

My two year old rig couldn't come close to maxing the settings, but seeing Cyberpunk 2077 now with all the new tech on a truly maxed out system ... it's kind of gobsmacking. Everybody is saying the game is really good now. Might have to finally pick it up when the right sale comes along.

Update: I joined his discord just to ask. He expects map guides to be up within two weeks.

I'm making my way through Baldur's Gate 3, Playthrough #2: This Time a Bard. I had a seven day weekend last weekend so I played a fair amount and am now squarely in the "wander around Shadowlands doin' thangs" portion of the the game. I continue to discover a ton of things both major and minor that I totally missed the first time around. Did you know there are Night Orchids in the Shadowlands you can pick up and give to Shadowheart? I didn't the first time I played and romanced her but this time around I found them and gave 'em to her.

Speaking of romance my plan to romance Karlach went completely off the rails. I'd had strenuous sex with Lae'zel back before I even got Karlach (that "I want to taste your sweat..." exchange) but spent the party night with Karlach and did flirty "We need to fix your heart so we can fuck..." dialogue stuff with her. Anyway I get to the Last Light Inn, do all the stuff with Jaheria and Tieflings and fighting some fuck with wings and then go and chat with Dannon Drinkable Tiefling and fix Karlach.

"I know we've got some other stuff to do still but come see me tonight at camp," says Karlach.

I kill a Very Odd Ox since I still had spells and HP and the like and he was right there and then make camp. Karlach's dialogue options are now just "Wait here in camp," and "Leave." No more, "Gods I'm so horny Karlach...let's find a way to fix your heart," so I figure that it must be a cut scene. I head to bed and sure enough a cut scene fires up...only it's Lae'zel challenging me to a duel to the death. I figure she's pissed that I'm interested in Karlach or something so I throw down with her and she kicks the shit out of me because she's whatever kind of fighter she is with double attack and a big-ass sword that procs psychic damage and poison damage and maybe fire damage and I'm a lore bard with some stupid rapier and a handgun crossbow and spells that are primarily "These make it so I can succeed with whatever dialogue shit I pick" and "These make my allies better at winning fights."

Anyway she beats the shit out of me and then is like "I can't do this anymore because I love you," or some such nonsense and long story short Githyanki are Klingons and that was some sort of bonding ritual so now I'm "The Source of Her Bruises" or something even though I think I hit her with Eldritch Blast once and she more or less chopped my arms off.

One "Ahhhh..." passage of time sound effect later I went to talk to Karlach. She now had another conversation option, "I need to talk to you about Lae'zel," which opened up a bunch of other options, none of which made Karlach happy. Via save scumming I came to realize that they all resulted in "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!" sometimes with a side order of "You're an indecisive cock and a lot of people are going to get hurt because of how you play with their emotions," and so I decided to just not ever talk to Karlach in camp again. Some real, "If I just ignore the problem it will go away," bullshit on my part, but then I left camp and Karlach had a big-ass exclamation point.

I wasn't about to relegate Karlach to camp forever like I did with Astarion in my first playthrough (this time he's permadead in a trunk in my camp) so I decided to just bite the bullet and hash it out with her and for whatever reason she was happy outside of camp. Like "Awww...look at you two so in love. I gotta say I'm impressed that you got Lae'zel to stop being such a hardass via the power of love." She says she was fond of me so she's a bit sad that I ended up with Lae'zel but still wants to be friends as long as I'm cool with it. And that, dear reader, is how I accidentally "friend zoned" Karlach.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past



Well, I've finished it now. Yes, that's right, just like everyone else about twenty years ago!

A quick bit of background - this is the first Zelda game I've ever played, and it was the Switch emulation that I worked through. Though I've never played one before, I have been watching my fella play through ToTK and find watching it an incredibly soothing experience and also a very enjoyable one. That means I've picked up odd bits of lore and whatnot but in a completely scattershot way while asking dumb, "what's that? What's that!?"-type questions. And while playing I was getting used to the whole controller thing as being a previously-PC gamer I've always been a mouse and keyboard 'bot.

Anyway, shocking literally nobody, it's fantastic. Not, I would say, flawless, but a really meaty, satisfying game. There's more than enough to explore without there being so much that it becomes difficult to keep track of stuff and the Light World / Dark World split is a really inventive way of expanding the game's horizons and exploiting the limited memory of the original console to its absolute maximum (a method very familiar to those of us who grew up with 8-bit computing). And using the shift between worlds to access otherwise-inaccessible locations is a really inventive way of using puzzle-solving without the need for (again) a lot of extra programming.

The plot is pretty standard fantasy-lite stuff but there's more than enough to keep things engaging and to give a sense of purpose and direction to Link's wandering. The side-missions - is that the right term for them so early or am I retconning that term on to them - are comparatively slight but still entertaining enough to give a bit of variety and mean you're not just permanently trying to find the entrance to whatever dungeon you need to hack your way through next.

The graphics are absolutely charming. And I don't just mean, "aww, that reminds me of my childhood" charming - though there's that too - but it's clear that real thought and effort has been put into trying to construct characters, backgrounds, environments, and baddies that really make full use of the capabilities of the console and manage to remain distinct enough to be immediately identifiable. Link himself is a delightful little sprite - a long way from the hot-shirtless variety we have these days but it really is amazing how much can be conveyed with so few pixels. Every time I got a crystal and released a maiden and Link held his sword above his head I grinned like an absolute lunatic because it's all just so delightful!

The soundscape is properly impressive too. There's obviously a limit to what can be achieved with a soundcard from that vintage but the main theme comes across lovely and clear and it's pleasingly distinct. I'm informed - thanks, fella! - that originally the Bolero was meant to be used but turned out to be unexpectedly still in copyright. Well, the game benefits from that because, good piece of music though it is, the Bolero is a cliche and already was by the early 90s too. By dodging that bullet and giving the Zelda series its own theme the game not only managed to retain its distinctiveness, it's also blessed with one of the great themes of the age. Saying that, I am supremely glad I never have to hear that fucking dungeon theme again - a little can sometimes go a long way. As for the sound effects - yep, all exactly as they should be, all exactly as effective as they should be. Not a lot more to add there, really.

Some of the challenges are absolutely fantastic, some of them are beyond impossible. Most of the dungeons are really well laid-out and ingeniously constructed to take full advantage of the setting. But there's definitely odd things that simply make no logical sense at all. One of the warp tiles to reach (IIRC) the seventh dungeon can only be found under a rock where you have to hit three stakes in the ground in the correct order with literally nothing to indicate that's how you find it. How is anyone meant to work that out? You could be wandering round pretty much forever in the faint hope that maybe, somehow, some day, you might find it. Without either a walkthrough, cheat sheet, or handy partner with access to Google it really is absolutely impossible. There's one or two of those and they do slightly detract from the overall playability of the game.

Also infuriating to the point of tears are a couple of the dungeon bosses. Some of them are excellently designed, and Ganon himself is brilliant final boss - difficult enough to prove a real challenge even at that point in the game but not so hard that it becomes an exercise in frustration trying to defeat him. Unlike, say, Moldorn where a slight nudge sends you careening into a bottomless pit and you have to start from scratch. That one just royally pissed me off.  Most of them are great though and the difficulty level is generally pitched exactly where it should be (and a quick extra shout-out to Gleeok, who was a fantastic challenge).

So overall? Well, just a very satisfying game overall and one that has really led me into the world of Zelda. It's a great introduction - my fella specifically chose this game as an introduction and it was an inspired choice, so well done him. All the key elements of a great game are there, they are executed about as well as they could be and, a few minor frustrations aside, this pretty much ticks every box I could want to be ticked. We've already started having a go at Link's Awakening, which is a whole new level of cute and charming (my fella's never played that one before, so we're having the pleasure of exploring it together).

Prole's Score: 9/10

Oh, and a quick P.S. - the closing credits are downright lovely, first with a lap of victory around Hyrule to ensure everything is back where it should be, then an extended daybreak while the actual credits roll and we get yet more top-tier music. Just a delightful way to finish the game. And I always appreciate anyone taking the time to put "The End" when it actually is. Delightful!

Prole Hole, you might enjoy Link's Awakening as well (granted, you might enjoy pretty much all the Zelda games) - it was originally a Game Boy game, and recently had a complete graphics revision that's I kind of love - it looks very toy like. The other's I'd tend to recommend are Wind Waker (which unfortunately is one of the few not available on Switch) and Ocarina of Time, as well as BotW and TotK.

Thanks Rando, edited to correct.

Frohman, LazBro, Invisible Goat, liebkartoffel, patbat, I just wanted you all to know that I found the Dark Souls Moth. It’s my favorite character. Do I have to kill it? Can I sacrifice the smith guy instead so that I can traverse the white light on the Moth Bridge without hurting the cool moth?

Wouldn’t you agree that it’s a really good moth, though?

Saw someone talk about this on twitter and I'm definitely curious.

I killed the moth on my second attempt.

Should I have the blacksmith man forge my halberd into a “divine” halberd?