Cats vs. Dogs: Poll of the Decade

*prepares to lock thread when it inevitably descends into open warfare*

Recently observed on Twitter:

'Dogs are assholes!'
DOG OWNER: YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!

'Cats are assholes!'
CAT OWNER: YUP.

I agree, but that being said we currently have a Pug and are lucky enough to have a fenced in back yard with a dog door. He gets winded pretty easily and sleeps almost as much as the cat. So over all he is not much more work than our cat. 

Cats - Blackadder
Dogs - Baldrick

I used to hate cats, largely due to allergies. Now I like cats, having met some cool cats and people that actually go to great lengths to actually clean up cat hair so those with allergies can spend more than 15 minutes in the home.

That being said, dogs mourn their owners while cats eat their owners.

Within two days of her coming home from the hospital, my sister's schnauzer-mutt became abnormally concerned with making sure my niece did not kick her blankets off. He picks up the blanket in his mouth, then uses his nose to kinda tuck her in. There is video, and it is adorable.

DOGS. THE ANSWER IS DOGS.

No indoor pets. Dogs go outside where they can romp around and entertain themselves if the owner is away. Cats go outside where they can decimate local populations of small native wildlife.

I'm wondering if the perfect pet would be that husky that was raised by cats.

Eh, there are super needy cats and dogs that are largely indifferent to their owners. Generally speaking, though, in my experience dogs are too needy and too much work for me. I'd prefer an animal that can take care of itself and that I don't have to worry about when I'm gone all day, and that I largely don't have to train. Cats are more likely to be that way.

However, I don't really want either anymore. So I'm gonna say bunnies.

I abstain from voting. Could I have a cat for inside and a dog for outside? Right now, I don't have the wherewithal to take care of either, but at some point, I think my small bungalow could accommodate a cat on the main floor and a small-to-medium size dog in the walk-out basement. Both could have their own turf to prevent future conflict.

I vote for clean furniture, no hair everywhere, and the freedom to travel at the drop of a hat without having to worry about lugging them along or hiring an expensive caregiver.

So, yeah, no kids for me, thanks.


What was the question?

Years ago I found a book called something like "The Medico-Legal Investigation of Death" in my college library.  I was totally psyched, because it was like a 400-page Carcass album cover.

Among the many images seared into my brain (kids, if you find a bigass box of sweaty dynamite, DON'T FUCKING TOUCH IT), there was a dude who lived alone with his two dogs and died of a heart attack.  Dogs DO eat their owners, starting with the face.

I read somewhere that a distressed and frightened dog, seeing its owner collapsed, will bite the face in a last ditch effort to bring them round. There was a woman who made a suicide attempt this happened to - I think she had the first face transplant, a few years back.