Who wants to play D&D online again?

I was doing Politicking

Also Roy Batty's Pet Dove I'm getting bugged by your character not having a pic. Do any of these strike your fancy? I realize that none of them match exactly your description of "cerulean hair with eyes of deep cerise" (and one of them is a halfling) but that's the best I was able to find of male gnomes that didn't look like mad scientists, thieving guttersnipes, or garden decor.

Would you be the frogsnail, or the shadowy knight, with the snail as your steed?

Not sure security will like having you show up with random barrels full of who knows what or trying to smuggle hookers inside them. You could try sneaking in fleshlights but I don't know how enticing they would be to the depraved wealthy since they probably have actual succubi on contract.

Also fleshlights and BJ barrels aren't standard magic items so they would be pricey (and definitely your characters don't have the time or the levels to create them yourselves). I don't think Pathfinder has published costs for magic sex toys so I'm going to make a GM ruling and say a fleshlight costs as much as a wand of stoneskin, which with only three charges costs 930 gp (because you know the sex toy merchant will set it up so the customer needs to keep coming back to recharge the wand). A barrel is much larger so I would say it would cost at least in the thousands.

And sneaking in hookers would be hard since obviously you can't just have random people tag along and there are only enough security badges for the party members.

But the gala is in the evening and you've already spent most of the afternoon drinking, shopping, and robbing the poor, and as non-bigwigs you really should be getting to the festivities early. I'm going to say any side trips you embark on should take no more than an hour if you want to make it on time for the gala. If you do decide to do this, tell me ahead of time so I can set the scene up.

Oh right, we have that option. Sure, that can work, I can give control of a character sheet to another player.

And Roll20 also has a mobile app that lets you access character sheets and player handouts, but I've never used it and can't comment on how well it works. If you pay for a premium membership you can also play on tablet but again, I have no idea how good it is. But these are definitely options if you don't have access to a computer.

There was that one weird third party source book for use with either D&D 3E or 3.5E that was 100% about fuckin'. I'm sure there are probably rules and costs for magical sex toys in there and since Pathfinder's basically D&D 3.75E I'm sure whatever they've got there would transfer over without too much difficulty. That being said, if time is an issue, we might have to save the weird sex stuff for another misadventure.

Dammit I was going to put the moves on Lady Lotheed!

You should totally choose a garden gnome.  think of how easy it will be for you to hide! at least, in gardens.

Social commentary!

It might be the first person Bomo's killed in the campaign but she's had blood on her hands since she was a tween.

Can your dude also make poison?

I don't have a ton of Pathfinder books at home (I have the beginner's box which is the basic D&D to Pathfinder's AD&D that I got on the cheap awhile back so I have an easier entry level RPG for my daughter when she's a bit older and then the core rulebook and one of the beastiaries they put out) but I've bought a ton of the pawns since they're cheap and will work with whatever gaming system I end up playing in the future since they've got all kind of really out there stuff in some of the pawn sets for various modules. I've got pawns of robots and Lovecraftian horrors and will probably order the set that has Russian Revolution era soldiers and tanks the next time I order junk off Amazon.

Hey Roy Batty's Pet Dove I'm trying to reconcile your character sheet with your character's background.

So your character has the feat Made Arrangements, which is basically that you have co-conspirators who ease things for you (for example, if you need to unlock a door, it turns out you've arranged things beforehand so you already have the key). There are reasonable limits to this, of course - if you're invading hell, there's no way you could have had an inside man slip you the password to the magic portal.

Anyway, I'm trying to find an in-game justification for this ability. Considering your character's background as an anti-racism crusader, would you object to your conspirators being a loose network of fellow gnomes? You know - servants, butlers, that kind of thing. No one notices the help. Up to you if your network is a full-fledged secret society or instead it's just you asking other gnomes to do you a solid.

Also, there are a couple of things from your character sheet that you should be aware of. First, you forgot to include your dagger in your weapons. I've taken the liberty of doing that.

The second item is weapon and armour proficiency. If you look under the Additional tab and Features/Traits, under Weapon and Armor Proficiency it'll say that your character is not at all proficient with shields, so using the buckler will mean -1 to your armour (AC), which cancels out the +1 AC having a shield gives you. I suggest just dropping it. Similarly, your character does not have proficiency with the Light Crossbow, which will give you -4 when attacking with it. Luckily your character is proficient with the hand crossbow so if you really want one then I'd say just switch the light crossbow for the hand crossbow. 

Finally, your character is both small and weak (only 4 STR, which is really low), so you are currently over-burdened. Normally in combat you'd be able to move 20 feet per round, but with everything you're carrying, your sheet is saying that you can only move 15 feet per round. If you're fine with that then you don't need to do anything, but if you want that extra 5 feet per round then I suggest getting rid of some of your encumbrance. You'll have to get your inventory weight below 10 lbs, according to your sheet.

Note that normally it would be a no-no to change stuff out-of-game for an active character but we didn't have time to do more than a quick once-over before the first game so let's just retcon things for now.

Err, we had next weekend July 6 scheduled. I was actually about to ask if that was still good for people. The only thing on my calendar for July 20 is a visit to Medieval Times and I'm 50% sure I didn't invite any of you there.

Okay, I'm continuing with cleaning up some more character sheet stuff. It's Aloysius' turn so @wearytraveler you've got some bonuses etc. that haven't been applied.

First, every time you gain a level, including level 1, you can get either 1 extra hit point or 1 extra skill point (this is called the Favored Class bonus). It's up to you which one you want. Just go to your character sheet and change the 8 to a 9 in Max HP if you want the extra hit point or increase the Rank of whichever skill you want by 1 (see below).



Note also that you picked the Persuasive feat which adds +2 to your Diplomacy and Intimidate checks but didn't add those bonuses. I've done it for you already but I'm just letting you know I changed this in your sheet. Note that your Intimidate is really high since you get +2 for being a half-orc, +2 for the Persuasive feat, +3 thanks to your natural Charisma, and +1 since you added a rank, for 8 points total. This is something that your character could take advantage of in social interactions.

Additionally, Disguise was checked as a class skill, which I assume was an error since it's not a skill clerics have. I've taken the liberty of correcting this in your sheet. 

Finally, your background is Child of Oppara, which means you can have in your starting inventory any single nonmagical item worth up to 200 gp. No special materials please - mithril chainmail, dragonhide leather coats, that kind of thing. Just browse for Items in the Roll20 Compendium to see what to add. FYI your character is proficient with simple weapons, orcish weapons (i.e., the name of the weapon has "orc" in it), greataxes, falchions, light crossbows, light and medium armour, and all shields except tower shields. Using equipment your character isn't proficient in will give penalties. Most of the items on those two links should be in the Compendium, but if not then I can help you enter the stats manually.

And that's all of it. It's just a bunch of things to apply so you can get the greatest advantage out of your character.