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Nudeviking
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Who wants to play D&D online again? Nov 14, 2022 18:54:57 GMT -5 patbat likes this

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Post by Nudeviking on Nov 14, 2022 18:54:57 GMT -5

Nov 14, 2022 18:10:33 GMT -5 patbat said:

This was, by far, the most competent our group has ever been in a combat situation!
Also: Josh watching us butcher his yakuza bosses:

We've come a long way since nearly suffocating to death on a sheet of sentient loose leaf paper.

Baron von Costume TI Forumite Like an iron maiden made of pillows... the punishment is decadence! Posts: 4,683	Who wants to play D&D online again? Nov 18, 2022 11:22:11 GMT -5 patbat likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Baron von Costume on Nov 18, 2022 11:22:11 GMT -5 if you'd just let me throw a bomb at your face that wouldn't have been a problem though

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Who wants to play D&D online again? Jan 25, 2023 2:00:57 GMT -5 Celebith, sarapen, and 2 more like this

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Post by Nudeviking on Jan 25, 2023 2:00:57 GMT -5

Season 2 Episode 21: Law & Order Marathon on the USA Network (January 21, 2023)
Game Master: sarapen
Players: Bomo Frugglemop-Crabbe (Nudeviking), "Dame" Goha (patbat ), Peak Dartbox (Celebith), Cosgrove Ashmore (Baron von Costume), and Basil Dalassene (Douay-Rheims-Challoner)
Location: All Over Meratt County

And so the party, began the work of scavenging any and all usable equipment from the corpses that laid sprawled out before them. Various bits of armor were equipped with hopes that it would serve the party of adventurers better than it had served the corpses before them. The party then discussed with Baron Okera what to do with the corpses and whether they would need to be brought back to civilization as proof that they had dealt with the bandits of the Beggarwood but Okera assured them that as he had witnessed their deaths first had such things would not be necessary. Bomo, however, had already decapitated the Night Swan and tossed it in a burlap sack perhaps as a sort of sick tit-for-tat replacement for the bust the Night Swan had taken from her.

When Josh the Bandit was cut down from the trap he had stumbled into and the bodies were buried Baron Okera invited the party back to his pad for, well...a party; one to celebrate their triumphant victory over banditry in the name of Law & Order.

A couple hours later the party found themselves back at Baron Okera's pad for a little soiree to celebrate justice being meted out. The Baron had other reasons for inviting the party back to his pad beyond celebratory beers and as the festivities were winding down Baron Okera took Cosgrove aside and told him that he hoped he and his entourage could stay a few days as there was something important he wished to discuss with them and get to the bottom of.

The next morning the party met with Okera in his office. The Baron looked serious, even by his generally stoic standards.

"I have heard some troubling things concerning you since your arrival in Meratt County," he said, "As I consider you friends I wanted to speak with you and hear your side of things before I decide how to proceed."

The Baron then explained all the things he'd heard about the party. How they'd murdered a tax collector in cold murder blood in broad daylight. How they had refused to execute a man for poaching. How they conspired with bandits. All the bad stuff. For the remainder of the day as the party and the Baron played games of chance or walked about his estate the party pleaded their case. While it was true they had killed the tax collector he had come without warning, barely extremely suspect documents, and demanded an obscene amount of money on the day the crops had been harvested rather than after the surplus could have been sold in order to pay the taxes. Moreover when the party had told him that they would take the taxes owed directly to Count Bartleby themselves the man became angry and attacked them with hired mercenaries and so they were merely defending themselves. Furthermore once the fight began they gave the tax collector numerous chances to surrender but he instead chose to fight to the death and paid the ultimate price for his stubbornness.

The party similarly explained to Okera that the man accused of poaching had only turned to the crime since he was the miller and the mill had fallen into such a state of disrepair that he was unable to do his job. As the mill had been repaired and he was the only person in town that knew how to work the mill executing him would have ultimately punished the entire town so the party offered to pay the Count for the deer that had been poached instead and the miller agreed to work the mill to pay off that debt to the party.

Okera seemed as though he was starting to come around on the party but as the day drew to a close, Goha sneaked away like a sneak-thief to investigate Okera's personal effects and see if there were some clues as to who had tipped Okera off to the business with the tax collector and the court case involving the miller. Unfortunately Goha was not what one might call discreet and was caught dumping drawers of papers onto the floor and just like that the party was back at square one with the Baron.

The next morning before the party once again tried to plead their case to the Baron, Basil, who himself was a resident of Penkaris and knew Okera fairly well, offered up some advice on how to better tell Okera what he wanted to hear. With that knowledge the party was able to successfully convince Okera that they wanted nothing more than to improve Staychys and Meratt County at large and that the "crimes" they had been accused of were at worst misunderstandings and at best were things that they had already paid for. The Baron told them that he shouldn't have but stock in such rumors but for him the rule of law was paramount and while the party may not have followed the letter of the law while improving the region that certainly abided to the spirit of it so they were free to leave. Goha wanted to offer the Baron a gift as a sort of mea culpa for ransacking his room and rummaging through his personal effects but Cosgrove nudged her and told her it was probably better not to remind him that he was pissed off at them for that and so they all just thanked him for his hospitality and began to prepare to leave.

As the party prepared to depart a messenger arrived with news from Staychys. A number of animals in town had suddenly become ill and on the night that it happened a woman had been apprehended lurking about in the fields. She was being held on suspicion that she via witchcraft had cursed the animals who are now producing sour milk. Also in less life or death news, Dame Crabbe, somewhat discouraged by the fact that her adoptive daughter, Bomo, had never had proper school in etiquette and proper lady-like pursuits had sent a tutor to instruct her and help her adjust to high society and so it was decided that the party would return at once to Staychys to deal with some potential witch shit.

The Honorary Tribune Piscum met the party as they rolled into town. She greeted Cosgrove and explained the situation regarding the possible witchy woman and the sick animals. Cosgrove told her that he needed to get some things from his manorhouse but then wanted to go out to the fields where the sick animals had been to do some investigation. Piscum agreed to take him there when he was ready and with that the party returned to their manorhouse.

When they arrived Ol' Scruddy told them some lady had showed up a couple days ago saying she was there to instruct "Miss Bomo Crabbe." He then went and fetched a rather severe looking half-elf woman who carried with her a riding crop. The woman curtsied and Bomo somewhat mockingly curtsied back to her. The woman glowered at her still covered in dust and dirt from the road and said, "I can see I am going to have my work cut out for me here..." before introducing herself and informing everyone that she had taught three generations of Crabbe women proper etiquette and would not fail in her duties this time. She then added that since Bomo had no education to speak of she was going to have to get started right away.

Bomo's compatriots, having actual life or death matters to attend to, bid the tutor farewell and left Bomo to her My Fair Lady style misadventures while they went with the Honorary Piscum to the fields that the sick animals had been grazing in. Cosgrove, being a man of science, wanted to rule out any possible natural cause for the animals' sickness before kicking off the Staychys Witch Trials and so he had some of the shepherds collect samples of the grass and water and soil in the field as well as of the sour milk so that he could run some tests upon. While they waited for the farmers to return with the requested samples the party asked Piscum about the woman that had been detained. Piscum did not have much information beyond the fact that no one recognized the woman and that she had been seen creeping about in the fields right when the animals had become sick. She had been taken into custody but had more or less remained silent since being put in jail, by which of course she meant the broom closet in the tavern/courthouse.

A short while later the farmers returned with the requested samples and Cosgrove took out his portable alchemy kit and set to work running a number of tests on the water and milk and grass and very quickly determined that the animals had contracted Ghoul Fever, likely from the water that Peak had also contracted Ghoul Fever from two months earlier when they had traveled into a swamp to attempt to repair the pump house. The party was a bit confused since they thought that repairing the pumphouse would have cleared the stagnant water but apparently there was still work to be done but at least they had figured out what had caused the animals to become sick. Cosgrove, as grand poohbah of Staychys decreed that until further notice the animals were not to graze in this particular field and no one was to drink water from the swamp. Goha offered to use her wand of cure disease to heal the animals but ultimately decided to look for other means of healing the animals that didn't involve using the party's only practical means of healing themselves of sickness in the wilds.

There was also still the matter of the woman who had been creepin' low and nasty in the field after dark to attend to. While everyone now understood that she had nothing to do with the sick animals her behavior was still weird and probably constituted trespassing so Cosgrove still needed to have a trial of sorts and decide what to do with her. The woman was let out of the broom closet. She was dressed in furs and leaves and had small animals crawling all over her. If she wasn't a witch she certainly looked the part.

Cosgrove approached the woman and said, "I ran some tests on the water and the animals and know that you aren't responsible for the animals being sick like the townfolks said you were so I just want to know why you were creeping around in the fields."

The woman glared at him with hatred in her eyes and told him, "Cram it with walnuts ugly! I won't talk to a cop!"

Cosgrove was at a bit of a loss and walked over to the table where the rest of his entourage was seated and told them that she had told him to "cram it with walnuts." Basil mentioned that she was dressed like a druid of the woods to the north so it was even more unlike that she would have intentional done something to harm the animals. Peak then asked Cosgrove if he could take a crack at talking to the woman and Cosgrove told him to go right ahead.

Peak approached the woman and asked her if she was a druid of the north woods since she seemed to be dressed as one. The woman said that she was but didn't offer up anything more so Peak continued saying that they had discovered what made the animals sick and know that she had nothing to do with it and then asked her why she had been in the field. The woman explained that the townfolks had sold an animal to one of her coven but the animal had been sick so she was sent to investigate the cause of the illness. Peak told her that they discovered that the animals had been drinking water contaminated with ghoul fever and that was likely the source of their aliment. He explained that they'd already repaired the town's pump house but that didn't seem to be enough so they were going to have to try and figure something else out so that no one else got sick from the water but for now they'd just ordered everyone to stop grazing their sheep in the fields near the stagnant water.

This seemed to please the woman for some reason even though Cosgrove had more or less told her the same thing before she told him to go fuck himself and so she offered to help purify the water so that no other animal would be harmed by it. To celebrate another successful trial the party bought a keg of Piscum's cheapest domestic beer. It was a joyous day for all, save for Bomo who had to practice walking with a book on her head and each time the book fell she would get hit with her etiquette instructor's riding crop and then hit again when she said, "Fuck!" after getting hit and then hit a third time when she yelled at Josh the Bandit for having a boner while watching this all transpire.

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Who wants to play D&D online again? May 2, 2023 19:14:17 GMT -5 sarapen, Baron von Costume, and 1 more like this

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Post by Nudeviking on May 2, 2023 19:14:17 GMT -5

Season 2 Episode 22 & 23: The Legal Distinction Between Ents and Treants Part I & II (March 18, 2023 & April 29, 2023)
Game Master: sarapen
Players: Bomo Frugglemop-Crabbe (Nudeviking), "Dame" Goha (patbat), Peak Dartbox (Celebith), Cosgrove Ashmore (Baron von Costume), and Basil Dalassene (Douay-Rheims-Challoner)
Location: Some Woods & The Estate of That Rotoscoped Aragorn Lookin' Lady

After a bit of downtime in Staychys in which the party and their entourages threw keggers in the town square, spied on foes, attempted and failed to break boards, went on a mediocre hunt, and signed into law legislation that suspended executions and established chain gangs to work on improving infrastructure. The party, however, were not the sort of folks that knew what to do with themselves when not adventuring and quickly grew tired of having to allocate funds to improve the facilities at the public house and deal with civil court matters. Bomo, in particular, was tired of spending hours on end learning how to curtsey and about which fork she was supposed to use to eat salad with and longed to punch something in the dick.

One evening in the party gathered in the tavern to knock a few back after a long day of legislating trying to convince the townsfolk of Staychys to knock it off with the literal witch trials. While the party marveled at Bomo's newfound ability to hold her pinky finger straight out while doing shots of Goldschläger (the classiest of all boozes) the talk of the tavern was the fact that a village under the jurisdiction of Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn had refused to pay their taxes and the burden of said tax had fallen upon her ladyship. While some in the party were impressed by the village's ability to just not pay their taxes and wondered about how many tax collectors they must have had to murder to make that a reality they ultimately decided that they should probably pay Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn a visit all the same, as it had been nearly two months since their arrival on Staychys and not paying her a visit in that time would be considered the height of rudeness (at least according to Bomo the party's self-proclaimed resident expert in etiquette) and so the next morning the party gathered up their equipment and headed out towards Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn's estate.

It was a two day journey from Staychys to Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn's estate and while the first day passed rather uneventfully on the second day as the party entered the Void Woods where they had encountered those strange chicken foxes all those moons again and been warned by them of a tree that murdered people the came upon a large, lumbering tree man. Goha and Basil being somewhat college educated and well-versed in woodcraft respectively recognized the tree man immediately as a treant.

"Do you mean an ent?" asked Bomo.

"Gods no!" exclaimed Goha, "Treants are an entirely different thing totally and completely legally distinct from ents!"

"Oh like how I'm a 'halfling" instead of a Hobbit?" Bomo asked.

"Are you trying to get us smote? That kind of talk is how people get smote!" Goha said before adding in a low whisper, "Yes, exactly like that."

The party wondered if the treant wandering in the woods before them was the tree that killed people the chicken foxes had warned them but decided the chicken foxes probably would have said a tree man instead of just a tree if it was a treant that was wrecking shop on people and so they greeted the treant. He seemed a bit depressed as he answered them.

"Oh hullo little ones," he said morosely, "what brings you to these woods?"

"We were just passing through and couldn't help noticing that you seem kind of bummed out man," Peak answered.

"Oh I am..." the treant said with a heavy sigh.

"What's the matter?" Peak asked, "Maybe we could help you."

The treant looked at the party and sighed once more before telling them of his problem, "There's a tree in these woods that kills people and it's pretty uncool. I don't really know how to get him to chill out though."

"Maybe we could go and talk some sense into him," Peak offered.

The treant again looked at the party and sighed before shaking his great, leafy head. "No," he said, "I fear that you are far too little and frankly too squishy to survive an encounter with the Tree the Kills People."

"We wouldn't be trying to fight the Tree that Kills People, we just want to convince the Tree that Kills People to stop killing people," Peak said, "We can be pretty persuasive."

"Well, you persuaded me!" said the treant, "I shall take you to where the Tree that Kills People hangs out killing people. I want you to know though that if things go awry the Tree that Kills People will probably kill you on account of you lot being people."

The treant led the party through the woods until they came to a part of the woods largely indistinguishable from the rest of the woods they'd just spent the last hour or so traipsing through. The party wondered aloud if they'd even be able to communicate with the Tree that Kills People to which the treant said, "Well, the Tree that Kills People is standing right there so I suppose you can try talking to him and find out."

It was then that the party realized that they were standing directly beneath a twisted tree with low hanging branches. If it was possible for a tree to look angry this tree looked angry for it was the Tree that Kills People and they were well within its reach!

Goha watched in abject horror as her companions stared blankly at the tree that kills people, seemingly unconcerned by the wildly waving vines, some of which had relatively fresh corpses dangling from them. The tree was bellowing something that she recognized as Sylvan but she'd never studied it so she had no idea what the tree was hollering.

Goha yelled to her companions to ready their arms for combat but Cosgrove asked her "Combat with what? There's nothing here but completely normal trees," and Bomo told her that she was going to take a little rest under the nice looking willow tree. Something was wrong with them all so it looked like it was up to Goha.

She released a bolt of magical lightning from her hands and prayed to the gods that the tree that killed people was rooted to the ground like a normal tree and not some sort of ambulatory creature like the treant because if it was able to get her in its clutches it would be curtains for her.

The treant's voice boomed, "Your little friends seem to be...what's the phrase you fleshy ones use? Tripping balls? Perhaps I may be of some assistance? I could throw a rock at the tree that kills people if you'd like."

Goha nodded, "Yeah do that if it's not too much of a bother."

The treant then grabbed a massive boulder and hurked it at the tree that kills people shattering the top of it's trunk in a shower of splinters. The tree that kills people howled in agony and before attempting to grab Bomo by the throat with one of its tendrils. Muscle memory must have kicked in because Bomo, despite being heroically high, managed to counter out of the grapple attempt. The attempt on her life was still not enough to sober her up though and she went right back to lounging beneath the tree that kills people.

Goha fired off a series of magic missiles at the tree while Cosgrove and Basil stared at her and asked her what she was doing. Peak, however, shook out the cobwebs and realized that what moments earlier he had perceived as a totally normal tree was in fact a tree that kills people. He quickly drew his bow and fired off an arrow that sunk deep into the trunk of the tree that kills people. The treant hurled another boulder at the tree that kills people, though this time the results were far less spectacular.

Goha let fly more magic missiles and Peak screamed vile oaths at the tree that kills people. Ironically it would be people that were the ones killing while the victim turned out to be the tree that kills people. With the tree that kills people dead, whatever spores were causing the party to trip balls dissipated and they all came to their senses. Goha explained what had happened and they all seemed relieved that Goha and the treant had managed to wreck house so thoroughly.

"Farewell cousin..." said the treant to the tree that killed people's corpse.

"Oh that was your relative?" asked Peak, "Sorry we killed them."

"It's alright. She did have a nasty habit of killing people after all," the treant replied.

"On the bright side your property values will probably go up now that there's no longer a tree that kills people in the neighborhood," Peak replied.

"I suppose that is true," replied the treant.

Peak then asked the treant if there were any sort of funeral rites that his folk observed or if they did anything special with the body of the deceased but the treant told him that they merely left it as a place for mosses and mushrooms to grow thus continuing the circle of life.

The treant, no longer concerned with the tree that kills people, then bid the party farewell and moseyed off into the woods. Once he was out of sight the party set to work tossing the numerous corpses surrounding and hanging from the tree that kills people. They turned up some gold coins, a couple of potions and a magical scroll that Goha already had scribed in her spell book and thus fell to Peak. Basil also collected some wood from the Tree That Killed People with the intention of crafting a bow of some sort once the party was back in civilization with a moment to rest.

With that all taken care of the party made their way back to their carriage and carried on towards Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn's estate. Her region was, according to Basil, renowned in the area for wine and vinegar production and the fact that vinegar was a major industry became exceedingly clear as the carriage neared the town as the scent of vinegar was noticeable in the air miles before the carriage reached the town. As the carriage rolled into town and the party disembarked a vaguely familiar looking man approached them and greeted them warmly. It was the fellow that they had been tasked with hunting during Count Bartleby's weird pervert party but ultimately ended up saving from a manticore all those weeks back.

"My lords and ladies, it is most splendid to see you all again," he said warmly, "What brings you here?"

Peak explained that they had business to discuss with Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn. The man nodded knowingly and told them to be sure and pay him a visit before they departed for he would be most happy to provide them with farm-fresh cream and butter as a token of his appreciation for saving his life. The party told him that they would and then carried on to Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn's estate.

She did not seem particularly pleased to see them but everyone kind of assumed that was just how she always looked as she wasn't particularly rude to them or anything like that. Just real scowly. She brought out some wine and the party discussed various issues of the day before getting down to brass tacks. There was conversation about wine purchases, hunting right, canal management and the manner by which taxes are collected. Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn seemed a bit put off by the means by which Bartleby chose to collect the taxes but was of the mind that there was little they could do about it under the current system. Peak suggested gathering all the noble houses together and attempting to convince Bartleby to change the law. Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn seemed interested by the idea but unwilling to fully commit to it.

before they were finally able to ask Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn about the hamlet under her jurisdiction that was not paying their taxes.

She explained that the hamlet was just a few homesteads of folks that raised goats but as of late there have been a number of wolf attacks that have been murdering their goats leaving them unable to pay their taxes so she had been covering for them. She explained that some thought the families living there were lying about the wolves to get out of paying their taxes but since she hadn't had the time to go and check herself she would rather err on the side of compassion towards her subjects when matters entirely beyond their control prevented them from meeting their financial obligations.

The party thought that while Lady Rotoscoped Aragorn might not be the friendliest of the nobles they had encountered since coming to Merrat County, she was definitely the one whose idea of what a noble's responsibility to their subject was mostly closely aligned with their own, and so they offered to go investigate the situation for her. She thanked them and said that when they returned she would further discuss the possibility of a team up with them to challenge Bartleby's unfair tax laws.

Nudeviking
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Who wants to play D&D online again? Jun 27, 2023 23:24:05 GMT -5 Celebith, sarapen, and 1 more like this

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Post by Nudeviking on Jun 27, 2023 23:24:05 GMT -5

Season 2 Episode 24: Wolf Guys (June 24, 2023)
Game Master: sarapen
Players: Bomo Frugglemop-Crabbe (Nudeviking), "Dame" Goha (patbat), Peak Dartbox (Celebith), Cosgrove Ashmore (Baron von Costume), and Basil Dalassene (Douay-Rheims-Challoner) [absent]
Location: A Random "Village" Somewhere In Meratt County

The party awoke early the next morning and set off, grabbing some Dunks to go as they made their way towards the village none of them could remember the name of. It wasn't particularly far from Lady Rotoscoped Aragon 's estate and by midmorning the party had arrived at the village, though to call it a village might have been a tad generous as it was little more than a collection of a dozen or so ramshackle houses and barns. A number of suspicious looking farmers and herders looked at the party as their carriage rolled into town.

The party exited their carriage and Cosgrove hailed the farmer that seemed to be the village chieftain and explained to him that they had spoken with Lady Rotoscoped Aragon and heard about their wolf trouble and had come to help with it. The headman scowled and said, "We don't know who you are so if you'll kindly stay out of our business it would be most appreciated. If Lady Rotoscoped Aragon is so concerned about our well being she should come here herself, now if you'll excuse us we have work to do, something you fancy types wouldn't know much about."

The man went back to his work while the party looked around the village. The goats looked nervous. The people looked nervous. The vibes were off all over the place. Were the townsfolk just scamming Lady Rotoscoped Aragon or was something actually going on involving wolves? Bomo decided she would attempt to eavesdrop and see if she could glean anything from the farmers working the fields. Unfortunately she ended up tripping on a series of rakes, alerting everyone to her presence. The party decided that they would need to try something a bit more tactful.

And so they pulled some cheeses, cured meats, and wine out of the hampers in the carriage and spread it out on a blanket and offered it to the farmers who ate eagerly and after a few cups of wine revealed what was actually happening in the town. They did, indeed, have a problem with wolves, more specifically a talking wolf that showed up and demanded regular offerings of goats and threatened to eat the children of the village if no goats were offered. The party explained that they had their best hunter attempt to slay the talking wolf but it went very badly and for three days the wolf toyed with the hunter's corpse before eating the hunter's heart.

The party, having murdered all manner of beasts, bandits, magical creatures, and sheets of loose leaf paper in their travels thought that they might stand a better chance than a single farmer with a longbow and offered to slay the talking wolf and added that should they fail and perish it wouldn't be any skin off the villagers' backs. The villagers were pleased by this and agreed to let the party try and slay the monstrous wolf. At first they offered to allow the party to use one of their goats as bait but that seemed like more than the villagers could spare and so Bomo offered to act as bait instead of the goat.

"I'm short enough that were I to dress in a child's frock and bonnet I could pass for a human child to a wolf," she offered.

The village elders agreed and explained that they were to leave an offering the next morning and so the party passed an uneventful night in the village and the following morning made their way to a clearing near the edge of the forest that surrounded the town where they were to wait. Cosgrove, Peak, Goha, and Basil all hid in the underbrush while Bomo, dressed in the garments of a peasant child, stood in the clearing and sobbed loudly.

"She's lucky it's just wolves she's trying to fool," Peak whispered, "because that is legitimately some of the worst acting I've ever seen."

A moment later a trio of wolves entered the clearing. One of them sniffed the air and snarled. Had it noticed the scent of the others in the bushes? Bomo hoped not because she really didn't want to try to chase after wolves through a random forest. The last forest chase had resulted in them encountering that creepy bandit, Josh, and she really didn't want a repeat of that. Fortunately a bolt of lightning streaked from the bushes her allies were hiding in, hitting two of the wolves and causing them to explode into puddles of goo. Bomo then flew at the remaining wolf and hit it with a sick Muay Thai knee strike before she unloaded on it with a pair of elbow strikes and then finished it off by grabbing its head and yanking. She was shocked by the ease with which she was able to pull the wolf's head clean off and even more surprised by the fact that she managed to keep its spinal cord intact while doing so.

With the wolves now but a series of goo puddles in the clearing the party looked at each other as if to say "What now?" It was clear to all of them that these were but normal-ass wolves not weird talking wolves. The talking wolf was still out there and so the party tramped into the forest and somehow managed to find the tracks of the wolves that had attacked them in the clearing. They followed the footprints and stray wolf hairs until they came to a cliff with a cave in the face of it and a number of wolves milling about, including a wolf far larger and more intelligent looking than the others. It caught sight of the party and charged at them as the crew got into defensive positions and readied their attacks. Spells were slung, bombs hurled, and dicks punched as the party laid complete and utter waste to the wolves. The party could not believe how easy this all was. They'd expected it to be a little easy but this was proving to be a cakewalk...and then the ground began to tremble.

In the distance a large golden furred creature with far too many legs burst forth from the ground and charged at Bomo, biting down on her arm and pulling her down to the ground. Blood trickled down her arm but she said, "Don't worry guys I'll just reverse this into a Camel Clutch and humble him and then you can just huck bombs and spells at him..."

This plan did not work as the beast was far too strong for Bomo to turn it over and get it into a submission hold. Instead she just broke free from the hold but before she could do anything else the creature's jaws clamped down on her again and ragdolled her. She was bleeding quite badly now but again managed to free herself. Cosgrove hucked bomb after bomb and Goha and Peak emptied their spellbooks at the furry golden monster but it just would not die. The fiendish creature bit and clawed in a frenzy as it was bombarded with explosives and fists and arcane spells. And then quite suddenly it went limp and collapsed to the ground, its fur singed. It was finally dead.

After spells of healing were cast the party searched the wolves' lair though aside from some stray gold coins and a quiver of arrows of beast slaying there was nothing much of note but the bones of dead goats and children. Hopefully there wouldn't be any more of them now that the wolves and golden psycho were slain.

Who wants to play D&D online again?

Post by Nudeviking on Nov 14, 2022 18:54:57 GMT -5

Post by Baron von Costume on Nov 18, 2022 11:22:11 GMT -5

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Post by Nudeviking on Jun 27, 2023 23:24:05 GMT -5