oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 11, 2017 7:11:32 GMT -5
oppyu vs Pokémon Omega Ruby (feat. Audience Participation, hopefully)Chapter IndexChapter 1: The Mysterious Pokémon Professor“Are you ready? Your very own adventure is now about to unfold! Be courageous and leap into the world of Pokémon where dreams, adventures, and friendships await!"This is Oprah.  She’s just moved to Littleroot Town with her parents. It’s weird there. Littleroot Town is apparently the hometown of Professor Birch, the Pokemon Professor, Professor Birch the Pokemon Professor, and everyone felt the need to talk about it and/or insist she go to see him. “Professor Birch, hail Birch, is the greatest professor in the whole wide world and he lives here in Littleroot Town! You should go meet him!” – some dude named Chad. “It’s very dangerous out there! You shouldn’t go out into the long grass until you talk to Professor Birch! Hail Birch.” – some little girl named Amelia. “Sure, go meet that Burch guy. Go outside and do something with your life. Millennials.” – Oprah’s mother, as she settled in for a nap. “Eh, he’s not that great… hail Birch. *grumbles* ” – Brendan, Professor Birch’s son. (Hail Birch). This is Brendan.  He’s going through a phase. “So you’re the people who moved in next door? I was hoping you’d be a dude.”“Oh. Sorry.”“That’s cool. You can still be my friend.”“…yay?”“Pfft, yeah. I need to help my Dad now… hail Birch GOD I HATE HIM.” A little while later, Oprah is walking through the streets of Littleroot Town - sorry, street of Littleroot Town, just the one – when a scream pierced the air. Oprah ran in the direction of the stream, to see a man in a lab coat cowering from a Poochyena.  Hail Birch. The ferocious growling Pokémon stood a foot tall and thirty pounds sopping wet. Professor Birch, hail Birch, turned to Oprah. “You there! Help me! Please!” Oprah moved to help him- “NO! The Pokémon is too dangerous for you to intervene!” “You need to pick a Poké Ball from my bag! Only they are powerful enough to stand against this beast!”Oprah pondered the three Poké Balls. Which one would she choose? Audience ParticipationPlease pick which Pokémon you think Oprah should choose and suggest a nickname. Or, don’t. I would appreciate if you did though. 1: Treecko (Grass) 2: Torchic (Fire) 3: Mudkip (Water)   
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2017 9:23:30 GMT -5
Who likes mudkip? Oprah likes mudkip.
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Rainbow Rosa
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not gay, just colorful
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Post by Rainbow Rosa on Oct 11, 2017 12:18:44 GMT -5
I'm glad we all agree Mudkip is the best.
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Post by Roy Batty's Pet Dove on Oct 11, 2017 17:22:21 GMT -5
You know that good good axolotl thing is the best one.
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Rainbow Rosa
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not gay, just colorful
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Post by Rainbow Rosa on Oct 11, 2017 20:04:37 GMT -5
The real question is, which is the best axolotl Pokemon?
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Post by Roy Batty's Pet Dove on Oct 11, 2017 21:26:50 GMT -5
The real question is, which is the best axolotl Pokemon? Oh definitely Wooper. I am sincerely very glad that Pokemon went back to that well in the very next generation, though. |
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Post by Roy Batty's Pet Dove on Oct 11, 2017 21:37:49 GMT -5
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Post by Gamblin' Telly on Oct 12, 2017 6:23:21 GMT -5
Yes, choose Mudkip and call it Mroing!
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
Posts: 2,767
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 13, 2017 6:09:47 GMT -5
Chapter 2: A Journey Begins... Eventually!Sadly, Pokemon names have a twelve-character limit, so I was not able to name Mudkip ‘Muddy Mudbutt’ or ‘Go fuck yourself, Ernst Haeckel’. Oprah selected Mudkip! Not pictured: Treecko and Torchic consoling each other because nobody likes them. Poochyena and Mudkip circled each other, probing for a sign of weakness. Poochyena growled threateningly, hackles raised. Mudkip used Water Gun! Poochyena flees! Professor Birch looks stunned. “Young lady! You and Mudkip make a magnificent team! You and he should remain together! What shall you name this brave champion?”“um…”Mudkip has been named Mudbutt! “Excellent!” Professor Birch boomed. “I foresee you and Mudbutt becoming a formidable pair! In fact, to start, could you do me a favour?”*CHOOSE YES/YES* “Thank you! My son is in one of his moods, and has travelled somewhere off on his own. Why, he was so engaged in his rock and/or roll music that he didn’t even notice I was being accosted by that ferocious wild Pokémon just then!”“Could you and Mudbutt please go and find him? I’m sure he won’t be too much trouble.”(-----) “Mudbutt, use Tackle!”Well, that escalated quickly and unnecessarily. Brendan challenged her to a Pokémon battle when she mentioned Birch had given her a Pokémon. Brendan’s Treecko slumped over, injured after the powerful Tackle Mudbutt had delivered. “NOOOOOOOOOOO” Okay, Brendan was being a little dramatic. “Here, I have a Potion for your Treecko.”“It’s Arcko” Brendan snapped, while also taking the Potion. This is Arcko. It’s French for Treecko. Brendan thinks he’s fancy. “Dad gives Pokémon to everyone, you know. You’re not special.”“Okay Brendan.”“He’s also done that Poochyena stunt like a hundred times.”“Please stop talking.”
(-----) “Oprah! I here you were also able to defeat my son!” “Um, yeah, sorry about that.” Oprah’s cheeks reddened, though the gregarious Professor didn’t notice. That’s right, gregarious. That’s a four-syllable word. Brendan glowered behind his father. “Nonsense! I could tell there was something special about you from the day we met! In fact, I’ve just decided. I have a very important mission to give you!” Brendan rolled his eyes as Birch went into his clearly well-rehearsed speech. “Yadda yadda Pokédex yadda yadda record Pokémon information yadda yadda have some Poké Balls yadda yadda these tutorial sections always go on for way too long yadda yadda GREAT ADVANCEMENT FOR PEOPLE AND POKéMON ALIKE.”“God, I hate you Dad.”“What was that?” Birch turned, the wide smile never leaving his face. “… hail Birch.”“That’s what I thought. Now, Oprah! Are you ready? Your very own adventure is now about to unfold! Be courageous and leap into the world of Pokémon where dreams, adventures, and friendships await!"(-----) Pleased to get away from the Birch family and their... weirdness, Oprah hurriedly walked back home. Oprah’s mother had awoken from her nap and was now smoking something foul-smelling. “Did you meet that Burch dude? Where did this Mudkip come from he’s so cute!”“Hail Birch. Uh, yeah, he gave me him! This is Mudbutt.” Oprah’s mother cooed over the admittedly adorable Mudbutt. I’m a Treecko fan myself, but I get it. “Another thing, he actually… asked me to go on a nation-spanning quest to meet and register Pokémon in his machine?”“Oh, that’s cool! Check in with your Dad in Petalburg City.”“I thought you’d be more upset by this.”“This isn’t tobacco, honey. You’re always welcome to rest here whenever you need. Now you and Mudbutt go off and have a great journey!”“… I need some money for supplies.”“Here, take my credit card. Have fun!”Audience ParticipationWhew, that part of the game takes forever. Now we’re picking a sidekick for Mudbutt! The winning choice will be determined by vote totals and best nickname. 12-character limit, no profanity. 1: Poochyena (Dark) 2: Zigzagoon (Normal) 3: Wurmple (Bug) 4: Seedot (Grass) 5: Ralts (Psychic/Fairy)     TeamMudbutt (Mudkip)
Bold
Level 8
Likes to run
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2017 6:50:33 GMT -5
I vote for a Ralts named "Spronkles"
I put a lot of time and energy into thinking of the name Spronkles
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2017 9:56:47 GMT -5
Seedot
John Seeda
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Rainbow Rosa
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not gay, just colorful
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Post by Rainbow Rosa on Oct 13, 2017 12:02:33 GMT -5
Question: do we get to pick the Ralts' gender if possible (so we can pick which evolution it has) ?
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 13, 2017 16:28:43 GMT -5
Ralts has a 4% encounter rate, so I'll probably just catch the first Ralts I see should Ralts win
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2017 17:30:14 GMT -5
Ralts has a 4% encounter rate, so I'll probably just catch the first Ralts I see should Ralts win John Seeda always wins. |
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Post by Roy Batty's Pet Dove on Oct 13, 2017 18:43:08 GMT -5
I vote for that sentient acorn thing. In defiance of Big Birth Certificate and their arbitrary 12-character limit, I suggest the nickname, "Go fuck yourself, James O'Keefe". |
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
Posts: 2,767
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 13, 2017 19:03:30 GMT -5
I vote for that sentient acorn thing. In defiance of Big Birth Certificate and their arbitrary 12-character limit, I suggest the nickname, "Go fuck yourself, James O'Keefe". Would you hypothetically be willing to accept 'GFY James'? |
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Post by Roy Batty's Pet Dove on Oct 13, 2017 19:05:20 GMT -5
I vote for that sentient acorn thing. In defiance of Big Birth Certificate and their arbitrary 12-character limit, I suggest the nickname, "Go fuck yourself, James O'Keefe". Would you hypothetically be willing to accept 'GFY James'? Yes. |
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fab
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strange days
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Post by fab on Oct 13, 2017 23:25:31 GMT -5
the wordily titled entries in the series confuse me and make me wonder if they're remakes of previous ones (e. g. red became fire red?).
I've still never played any of these games and probably should... I'm just not sure where to jump in. preference may go to the older non 3D ones b/c I like the sprite animations and such.
my vote would also have been for adorable mudkips.
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oppy all along
TI Forumite
Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
Posts: 2,767
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 13, 2017 23:46:28 GMT -5
the wordily titled entries in the series confuse me and make me wonder if they're remakes of previous ones (e. g. red became fire red?). I've still never played any of these games and probably should... I'm just not sure where to jump in. preference may go to the older non 3D ones b/c I like the sprite animations and such. my vote would also have been for adorable mudkips. Yup, Fab. Red/Green became Fire Red/Leaf Green, Gold/Silver became Heart Gold/Soul Silver, and Ruby/Sapphire became Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire. And there's still more audience participation, see the second post in the thread  Ideally I'm not going to have to pick or nickname a single Pokemon this playthrough. As for a spot to jump in, Pokemon Black and White were the last 2d games if that's what you're into. If you go into the 3D games though, they have game modes where you can pet your Pokemon and feed them treats. |
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fab
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Post by fab on Oct 14, 2017 1:01:06 GMT -5
As for a spot to jump in, Pokemon Black and White were the last 2d games if that's what you're into. If you go into the 3D games though, they have game modes where you can pet your Pokemon and feed them treats. I'm worried I'll be overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of things to do and number of Pokemon in later entries though? I'm familiar with a good chunk of the first generation, as Pokemon was everywhere when I was a kid, and I watched some of the anime as well. glancing at Wikipedia, it seems the pattern is release mirrored versions, release a special edition the following year or so, then remake the game for a subsequent handheld generation. I'm still somewhat confused. should I just go with a remake of the first set maybe? thanks |
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Post by Roy Batty's Pet Dove on Oct 14, 2017 18:04:18 GMT -5
the wordily titled entries in the series confuse me and make me wonder if they're remakes of previous ones (e. g. red became fire red?). I've still never played any of these games and probably should... I'm just not sure where to jump in. preference may go to the older non 3D ones b/c I like the sprite animations and such. my vote would also have been for adorable mudkips. Yup, Fab. Red/Green became Fire Red/Leaf Green, Gold/Silver became Heart Gold/Soul Silver, and Ruby/Sapphire became Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire. And there's still more audience participation, see the second post in the thread Ideally I'm not going to have to pick or nickname a single Pokemon this playthrough. As for a spot to jump in, Pokemon Black and White were the last 2d games if that's what you're into. If you go into the 3D games though, they have game modes where you can pet your Pokemon and feed them treats. I'll just add that if you were in the American market, you'll probably be more familiar with the first generation of Pokemon as the generation with Red Version and Blue Version, as opposed to the Red Version and Green Version released in Japan and possibly elsewhere. |
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Post by Roy Batty's Pet Dove on Oct 14, 2017 18:47:38 GMT -5
As for a spot to jump in, Pokemon Black and White were the last 2d games if that's what you're into. If you go into the 3D games though, they have game modes where you can pet your Pokemon and feed them treats. I'm worried I'll be overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of things to do and number of Pokemon in later entries though? I'm familiar with a good chunk of the first generation, as Pokemon was everywhere when I was a kid, and I watched some of the anime as well. glancing at Wikipedia, it seems the pattern is release mirrored versions, release a special edition the following year or so, then remake the game for a subsequent handheld generation. I'm still somewhat confused. should I just go with a remake of the first set maybe? thanks As someone whose favorite (and last) generation of Pokemon was the second one, I'd note that that one was pretty great. There were only 251 Pokemon at that point, generation 2 has some really good Pokemon, like this good good rock tree, or Wooper, the aforementioned best axolotl Pokemon, or Umbreon, objectively the best of Eevee's many evolutions, or Shuckle, the adorable sentient mold-bug*, or this really good sheep, or Porygon 2. So as a partisan of Gen 2, may I suggest Soul Silver or Heart Gold for the Nintendo DS, which iirc from friends who bought the game around the time of its release, also came with a cool pedometer thing that you can use (if you want) to train your Pokemon with in addition to just murdering a million Rattattas and Pidgeys. Although as a counterargument for a more recent generation, if you go with Gen 6, you can catch Klefki, a Pokemon which is literally just some keys, which is so wonderfully bizarre that it became my new favorite Pokemon the moment that I was informed of its existence a few months ago. Just look at this thing, isn't it fucking great?  *Also, oppy all along , can I preemptively make a suggestion for a nickname for Shuckle if you eventually catch one? My suggestion is "Go fuck yourself, Mencius Moldbug, you fucking neo-reactionary scumbag, primarily for being a white supremacist/neo-feudalist/the 'intellectual' inspiration behind much of the alt-right, but also for damaging the reputation of a good good Pokemon like Shuckle with your shittiness". |
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Post by 🐍 huss 🐍 on Oct 14, 2017 19:48:45 GMT -5
I renamed all my Shuckles "shuckyducky" in Pokemon Go, as "aww, shucky ducky!" was too long.
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fab
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strange days
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Post by fab on Oct 16, 2017 6:29:30 GMT -5
I'll just add that if you were in the American market, you'll probably be more familiar with the first generation of Pokemon as the generation with Red Version and Blue Version, as opposed to the Red Version and Green Version released in Japan and possibly elsewhere. In my mind, that is the first generation, since that's the first instance I had ever heard of it, being a generic white guy from Canada. also, they seriously did Porygon 2.0? that's pretty amazing. I look forward to the Porygon3 version (with VR goggles?) |
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Post by Roy Batty's Pet Dove on Oct 16, 2017 20:27:59 GMT -5
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monodrone
Prolific Poster 
Come To Brazil
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Post by monodrone on Oct 17, 2017 7:01:01 GMT -5
Ralts has a 4% encounter rate, so I'll probably just catch the first Ralts I see should Ralts win John Seeda always wins. You can't seed me. |
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Post by ganews on Oct 19, 2017 13:32:06 GMT -5
I've never played Pokemon anything but I am enjoying this weirdness. I vote for the acorn-looking thing. Name it Colonel Korn, exactly 12 characters and named for the Cath-22 character.
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oppy all along
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Who's been messing up everything? It was oppy all along
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Post by oppy all along on Oct 20, 2017 3:29:06 GMT -5
Chapter 3: More TutorialsOprah was travelling Route 103 when- “STOP!” A Youngster stood in Oprah’s path. “I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE! OUR EYES MET, SO YOU CAN’T SAY NO!”“This is a really sociopathic way for Pokémon battles to work.”“SILENCE!” He pulled a Poké Ball from his belt with a dramatic flourish. “ZIGZAGOON, I CHOOSE YOU!” Suddenly, Oprah turned and threw something at Zigzagoon, stunning Pokémon and trainer alike! “What… what was that?” “It was JOHN SEEDA DUNDUNDUNDUNNNNNNN DUNDUNDUNDUNNNNNNNNNN”No John Seeda were harmed in the writing of this gag. (-----) Oprah had hoped that getting Poké Balls and the Pokédex was the end of forced tutorials. She was mistaken. First, there was Brendan. “Sigh... I guess I should show you how to sneak up on Pokémon, I guess.”“Um, I’m really bus-”“No, we’re doing this now.”Then there was the creepy guy standing outside the Poké Mart. “Hey, kid, you want a Potion? I got Potions.”“I actually have a whole bunch of Potions-““And after you buy some Potions from me I’ll show you the Pokémon centre, that’s pretty cool, right? Let’s go.”And then Brendan again. “This is how the Detector Mode on your Pokénav works.”“I don’t know what that is and PLEASE STOP.”“I was thinking of challenging your Dad once we get to Petalburg City. As you know, the Gym Challenge is a process in which-”“WE ARE NOT TRAVELLING TOGETHER.”(-----) Oprah stopped at the Pokémon Centre when she got into Petalburg City, travelling side-by-side but not together with Brendan. They just happened to get in at the same time is all. Besides, it made sense not to travel alone- you know what, nevermind. Afterwards she visited her father in the Petalburg City Gym.  Norman takes Pokémon and parenting very. very. seriously. “Good evening Oprah. I see you’re a Pokémon trainer now.”“Yes sir. I started my journey a week ago These are my Pokémon, Mudbutt and John Seeda.” “It’s excellent to meet you two. Here, you should meet King Kawng.” King Kawng does in fact have shit on you. “But wait, does that mean Caroline is home by herself? I hope she’s not lonely.”(-----) Back in Littleroot Town, Oprah’s mother is eating pizza and playing Call of Duty. “HA! Take that noob!”“I’m just a kid.”“Yeah I know I had sex with your Dad last night. Yeah, what. Do something about it.”(-----) Just then, a pale and adorable child entered the Gym.  Unspecified illness is -2 CONS but +2 CUTE, Wally. “Hi, I’m Wally?” He spoke with a slight stutter because of course he did. Norman greeted him warmly. “Good evening. What can I do for you Wally?”“Um… well… my parents are moving me to Verdanturf Town, because they think the air here might be making me sick. So I was just hoping if... might... help me catch a Pokémon?" Norman clapped the slight boy on the shoulder. “Well of course! In fact, I’ll lend you one of my Pokémon, and then Oprah will go with you and make sure you’re okay as you try to catch a Pokémon of your own.”Oprah realised she was about to be trapped in another tutorial, but before she could object, a nervous Wally turned to her. “Oh! Thank you so much!... you will come with me, won’t you? I don’t know if I can do this alone…” Wally was all puppy dog eyes and trembling lower lip. How can you say no to that face? “fiiiiiiiiiiine”(-----)
“So... the first thing I do is weaken the wild Pokémon with my own Pokémon, right?”
“Yes, we all know what’s happening here, just get on with it.” An engaging and informative tutorial followed, where Wally bravely wore down the wild Pokémon and threw a Poké ball at the appropriate time. Tears streaming down his face, he raised the Poké ball high with joy.
“Hooray! I caught a RALTS!”
“Awesome! What are you going to call him?”Everyone say hi to Spronkles! “Thank you so much for this Oprah! I’ll never ever ever ever ever forget it!” A warm smile came to Oprah's face despite herself. “Don’t worry about it. You and Spronkles go and have fun.”“Just one more thing. As a gift, I’ll install these new apps on your Pokénav which require extensive further tutorials!”“… yay.”(-----) Back at the Petalburg Gym, Oprah and Norman waved Wally goodbye as his parents drove him off to his new home. Norman turned to his daughter, appraising her with a furrowed brow. “So. You’re taking the Gym Challenge.”“Yes sir.”“We will face each other. But not yet. I don’t want to face you until you’re ready. Travel to Rustboro City, and face the Gym Leader there. Her name is Roxanne. She will not be easy to defeat. And Oprah… I’m so proud of you.”Party Mudbutt, Level 10, Bold  John Seeda, Level 7, Hasty Audience ParticipationAwwwww. And it's that time again. Please pick a Pokémon and a nickname, remember the nickname can't be over 12 characters, and the Pokémon will be chosen by popularity and best nickname.1: Tailow (Normal/Flying) 2: Slakoth (Normal) 3: Nincada (Bug/Ground) 4: Whismur (Normal) 5: Skitty (Normal)
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Post by Gamblin' Telly on Oct 20, 2017 6:54:49 GMT -5
How does Monica fit into Pokemon canon?  |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2017 9:09:30 GMT -5
I vote for Monica the Skitty
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Ideally I'm not going to have to pick or nickname a single Pokemon this playthrough.
