Okay guys, I've been kind of sick all week so I still haven't finished the write-up. Here's what I got so far:
Session 5: Sep 28 2019
Players: Bomo Frugglemop (
Nudeviking ), Cosgrove Ashmore (
Baron von Costume ), Goha (
patbat ), Peak Dartbox (
Celebith ), Pessimo Historione (
ABz Bđź‘ąanaz )
Location: ??
When last we left our heroes, they were about to massacred by masked men dressed in black. However, their security badges flashed brightly and the next thing they knew, they were in a small dusty room with a few beds, an evidence locker filled with Aloysius’ things, and Sterrance’s dead body (Room 4 in the illustration).
The party has already taken everything from the box and looted Sterrance’s body of anything useful (but in a respectful manner recognizing the tragedy inherent in losing a beloved comrade). In Sterrance’s hand was a cryptic note about who killed “C’s dad”. Having relieved Sterrance of all his valuables, they examine his body for clues to how he died and how he ended up in this chamber.
However, Cosgrove has a stomach ache and has to lie down for a bit. Bomo theorizes that teleporting didn’t agree with him. Cosgrove doesn’t really care as he lies down on a dusty bed and takes a nap.
Health crisis averted, Peak Dartbox and Goha both nudge Sterrance’s body a bit and confirm he’s dead, adding nothing to the party’s store of knowledge. Bomo and Pessimo are able to tell that Sterrance was stabbed to death and must have been killed elsewhere, since there’s no puddle of blood around the body and the surrounding dust was undisturbed before Sterrance’s companions started rifling through his pockets.
Bomo asks how Sterrance’s body got dumped into this room, which has clearly not been visited in ages, as evidenced by all the dust everyone’s tracking around. It’s obviously a locked room mystery! Everyone agrees that Bomo would have been useful in investigating his own murder. Lacking his skills, our crack team of detectives mull things over before Goha floats a hypothesis: vampires. Of course! Vampires are always the culprit in every murder mystery!
Goha continues on about vampires and asks what anyone knows about them. The party tries to piece together what they know about bloodsuckers from various Monster Manuals before Pessimo points out that maybe Sterrance and the box with Aloysius’ stuff got teleported into the room by the security badges like the party did.
Bomo thanks Pessimo for cracking the case of the dead body but Goha demands to know how vampires fit into this explanation. Bomo explains that Sterrance probably got killed in some kind of masked Eyes Wide Shut orgy but stills fashions a stake out of the smashed evidence locker just in case.
Also, Bomo realizes that Sterrance has more that can be looted and takes his blood-soaked clothes to sell at a used clothing store later, leaving his corpse clad only in underwear. The gang takes a closer look at Sterrance’s things and realize he had two tear-away outfits, probably in case of emergency pole-dancing or shooting the Hot For Teacher music video.
Everyone thinks they’re ready to try the other doors now. However, first they take stock of what resources they have. They realize that their weapons are still fastened to their sheaths as a security measure for the gala (also none of them did shit against the masked killers except for Cosgrove, who threw a grenade for minimal impact). Pessimo and Peak remove the peace-bonds on their swords and ready themselves for some murdering of their own. They ask Goha what she can contribute to their organization. She replies that she has an Acid Splash cantrip for use against enemies. Also she can use Prestidigitation to flavour any bowls of chili they encounter.
The party then splits up to try the different doors. They first examine the doors to make sure there aren’t any traps and that there aren’t any strange sounds or smells coming from the other side. Goha declares that the north door is definitely a door and is made of a door-like material. Pessimo doesn’t think there are any traps on the southeast door and also doesn’t hear or smell anything unusual. Bomo listens at the east door and declares that nothing seems fishy and that there are no Home Alone door traps with the red-hot doorknobs.
Everyone decides to try the east door first, but they stack some beds up as barricades first in case a horde of goblins rushes out at them. They also barricade the other doors just in case. Peak readies his bow to shoot at anything that comes through, while Goha hides behind Bomo.
However, while moving the beds, our party remembers Sterrance’s dead boy is lying on the floor and decides to get it out of the way and place it on the bed next to Cosgrove. They also pose Sterrance’s corpse so it’s pointing at Cosgrove and will be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.
The gang decides that as the closest thing they have to a party tank, Bomo should be in charge of opening doors. Bomo accepts this judgement despite literally being half the size of everyone else and prepares to open the east door. Peak again readies his bow as Bomo yanks the door open, finding nothing but a short dusty hallway. Bomo decides that she shouldn’t rely on Peak’s halo and lights up her own lantern. She then moves to the next door, with Peak following behind to provide cover again with his bow.
Bomo takes another moment to check at the door for any strange sounds or smells. Finding nothing, she cracks the door open and finds Room 3, which is full of shelves and crates. The shelves have some jars of rotted pickles and preservatives, along with some clothes barely more than rags, but they also have a masterwork toolkit good for carpentry, metalworking, and stonework, which Peak claims for his own. The party decides against looking in the crates since there’s a lot of them and it’ll probably take like half an hour to search each one. They also make a note to have Cosgrove use his alchemy knowledge to discern if there’s anything useful in the jars on the shelves.
Our heroes move on to the north door. Again Bomo listens and smells and finds nothing, and again Peak provides cover with his bow, and again they find nothing but an empty hallway. They check the door at the end and find nothing unusual or alarming once more. Bomo opens the door and reveals Room 2.
Inside the room is a big fancy bed, some bookshelves, a table and very plush chair, and also a bathroom to the southwest. On the table is an ornate gold key, which Pessimo claims. Bomo gives the room a quick look-over and doesn’t spot anything out of the ordinary. Goha chimes in says she has a Detect Secret Doors spell and asks whether this would be a good time to use it. Peak tells her to save it for later, so instead Goha casts Detect Magic, which shoots out in a 60-foot cone and tells her that there’s a magical aura emanating from a spot on the floor and a panel on the wall made of brass and green glass. She tells the group that there’s something fucky about the tile floor.
Goha, being the resident magic expert, tries using her Spellcraft skill to divine what spell is hanging around on the tile floor, but it’s too high level for her to discern. Peak and Bomo (for some reason) also try to use their knowledge of Spellcraft but also fail at putting an ID on the spell. The party considers prying up the floor tiles, but there’s nothing remarkable about that particular spot anyway to distinguish it from the rest of the tiles. Finally, Goha at least manages to use her Arcana knowledge to discern from the spell’s aura that it has to do with Conjuration. What exactly does it conjure? Perhaps vampires? It’s impossible to tell at this point.
Giving up on the tile floor for now, Peak goes into the bathroom and reports that the water in the sink doesn’t work, since he just tried washing his hands. The group moves on to the wall panel. Bomo squints and squinnies at it and declares that it’s exactly the right height for a Medium-sized person to touch, and that it seems to be made specifically to be pushed. Peak uses his knowledge of Spellcraft to once again embarrass himself and admit that bards aren’t really good with the book learning and that he can’t really say anything about the wall panel. Having no other leads, the party decides to go ahead with pressing the panel.
Light suddenly starts streaming from the hallway. The party has left the doors open behind them and now it looks like there’s light coming from the room with all the crates. The party is excited at this development, then remember that they left Cosgrove sleeping in pitch darkness with no idea where they went. Goha quickly runs back and leaves the following message in Sterrance’s cold hands: "FOLLOW THE DOORS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE DEAD AS HELL LIKE ME".
Goha then goes back to the room with the crates and casts Detect Magic. She finds that there is a magical aura emanating from behind the crates stacked up against the southern wall. She tells the party that she’s got this and uses her Acid Splash cantrip, dealing 2 points of acid damage to the pile of crates. However, the crates were only lightly speckled and it’s going to take a lot more acid to melt them, so Bomo tells her to get out of the way and just starts moving boxes.
Half an hour of manual labour later, Bomo uncovers a fresco on the southern wall of a man fighting some dwarves, with a brass plate stating that this was some guy who was some big champion in the Fourth Army of Exploration. After studying the fresco, Bomo realizes there’s something off about a specific section and it’s probably hiding a secret compartment.
Secret compartments are of course a rogue’s specialty, so Pessimo tries his hand at opening it. However, after poking at it, he admits that he has no idea where to even stick a lockpick in. Goha gives it a try and does even worse. After standing around a bit, the party decides this secret compartment thing blows and decides to try something else. Before they leave, Goha tries the wall panel, which it turns out activates the lights in Room 4, where Cosgrove is still napping.
This is good since the party goes back to Room 4. Peak takes the opportunity to try the door in the southeast corner and finds another bathroom. He tries to wash his again and reports that the water also isn’t working. However, the others realize that he’s actually been trying to wash his hands in the toilet, not the sink.
With the toilet mystery cleared up, the party decides to try the north door. Bomo once again finds nothing amiss, and once again there’s nothing but a hallway once again, so the party says fuck it and just opens the door at the end.
They find that Room 1 is apparently the lounge, or maybe the recreation area. There are tables and chairs, a bar, some cabinets, and a few portraits hanging on the walls.
The party zeroes in on the lone cabinet that’s locked. Pessimo at first tries the gold key from the other room, but it doesn’t work. Then he tries picking the lock, but it’s beyond his abilities. Goha then tries but does even worse at lockpicking. Bomo tries to perceive anything off about the cabinet but gives up after realizing she doesn’t know anything about cabinetry. She does confirm that the cabinet is made of wood, though.
Bomo quickly scans the other cabinets for any treasure and mostly finds cheap hooch that’s long since evaporated or turned to vinegar. However, the party does claim two bottles of expensive whiskey sealed in wax which is worth 75 gp each.
Finally, Goha tries using her Detect Magic spell. She finds that there’s something magical inside the locked cabinet and also a couple more magic items under the bar. Peak suggests using a prybar to rip the cabinet’s door off its hinges. He pulls the prybar out of the masterwork toolkit and hands it to Bomo, who is the strongest one in the party (again, despite being literally half the size of everyone else).
Bomo tries the prybar and barely moves the cabinet door. This cabinet is clearly made out of some magic wood, considering how tough it is. She tries again and gives it a massive effort, finally cracking open the cabinet. Everyone prepares for perhaps some kind of liquor goblin to jump out at them, but they only find a crystal ball inside the cabinet.
What does the crystal ball do? Well, that's all I've got so far. Tune in again for the rest of the adventure!
I will update as soon as I hear more, which should be on Monday.
