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Post by Pastafarian on Mar 22, 2015 22:41:25 GMT -5
We see them daily, but which ones make you wish you could blow up websites with your mind?
From Huffington Post (The Ernest Hemingway of clickbait):
"These Old Pictures Of Reese Witherspoon Are EVERYTHING"
What the fuck does that even mean? Is it like a Zen koan?
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Ice Cream Planet
AV Clubber 
I get glimpses of the horror of normalcy.
Posts: 3,833 
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Post by Ice Cream Planet on Mar 22, 2015 22:44:10 GMT -5
We see them daily, but which ones make you wish you could blow up websites with your mind? From Huffington Post (The Ernest Hemingway of clickbait): "These Old Pictures Of Reese Witherspoon Are EVERYTHING"
What the fuck does that even mean? Is it like a Zen koan? We all know Tracy Flick was secretly a Buddha. Anyone who was that conniving and high-strung is achieving some accidental form of enlightenment. |
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Ice Cream Planet
AV Clubber
I get glimpses of the horror of normalcy.
Posts: 3,833
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Post by Ice Cream Planet on Mar 22, 2015 22:45:38 GMT -5
Also, HuffPo is impossible to take seriously, which really sucks because sometimes they have good articles.
Sometimes.
Other times it's something like some gay 40something dude is, get this, sleeping with people half his age!
I know, I'll give you a moment to calm your nerves.
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monodrone
Prolific Poster 
Come To Brazil
Posts: 2,551
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Post by monodrone on Mar 23, 2015 8:53:49 GMT -5
22 maps and charts that will surprise you
Thanks, Vox. Thox.
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Post by Nudeviking on Mar 23, 2015 8:59:38 GMT -5
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monodrone
Prolific Poster
Come To Brazil
Posts: 2,551
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Post by monodrone on Mar 23, 2015 9:01:05 GMT -5
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Trurl
Shoutbox Elitist 
Posts: 7,470
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Post by Trurl on Mar 23, 2015 9:23:44 GMT -5
Turns out that the map entitled "Look! Maine is Farther North Than Florida" didn't meet their editorial standards for "surprisingness". |
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Post by Lt. Broccoli on Mar 23, 2015 9:41:34 GMT -5
"Forget Iraq, Syria, Ukraine - Here is Where World War III Will Start"
Links to a video. I'm not watching a fucking video, it's bad enough that I would have read an article that wouldn't have told me anything.
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Post by boooourns on Mar 23, 2015 9:57:13 GMT -5
I came here expecting some lame clickbait headlines, but what happened next left me speechless...
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Invisible Goat
Shoutbox Elitist
Grab your mother's keys, we're leaving
Posts: 2,630
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Post by Invisible Goat on Mar 23, 2015 10:48:54 GMT -5
Weather.com has some of the worst. Right now we have:
It Won't Happen Again Until 2033
It Fell From Space, Then This Appeared In the Snow
Eating This Might Be The Secret to Stopping It
You'll Feel Guilty for Laughing, But Luckily She Wasn't Hurt
Not one specific noun to be found. They're also rather fond of the "...then THIS Happened" thing.
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Ice Cream Planet
AV Clubber
I get glimpses of the horror of normalcy.
Posts: 3,833
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Post by Ice Cream Planet on Mar 23, 2015 11:09:13 GMT -5
Every Upworthy post:
'This Man Removed the Specific and the Negative, and What Happened Next Will Astonish You.'
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Post by Pastafarian on Mar 23, 2015 11:14:19 GMT -5
Every Upworthy post: 'This Man Removed the Specific and the Negative, and What Happened Next Will Astonish You.' Whenever I see something like that I want to phone up the headline writer and say, "No, I'm pretty sure it will not." |
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Post by Pastafarian on Mar 23, 2015 11:15:25 GMT -5
From HuffPo again:
'There's One Big Plot Hole In 'The Little Mermaid' That Changes Everything'
There's that word again. Everything. Maybe they don't know what it means?
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Ice Cream Planet
AV Clubber
I get glimpses of the horror of normalcy.
Posts: 3,833
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Post by Ice Cream Planet on Mar 23, 2015 11:17:55 GMT -5
HuffPo:
'He Told His Boyfriend, "I Love You." His Boyfriend's Response Brought Him To Tears.'
'These Gorgeous Dolly Parton Prints Will Renew Your Faith In Fan Art'
Buzzfeed:
'We Know What John Green Book You Are'
'37 Reasons You Want To Experience “Harry Potter” For The First Time Again'
Upworthy:
'After the surgery, they had no problem getting married.'
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Ice Cream Planet
AV Clubber
I get glimpses of the horror of normalcy.
Posts: 3,833
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Post by Ice Cream Planet on Mar 23, 2015 11:20:59 GMT -5
Every Upworthy post: 'This Man Removed the Specific and the Negative, and What Happened Next Will Astonish You.' Whenever I see something like that I want to phone up the headline writer and say, "No, I'm pretty sure it will not." What if it's something on Fapworthy? Also, 'everything,' just like 'amazing,' has been rendered largely meaningless in the world of clickbait. Remember when 'amazing' meant something like seeing a meteor shower or a sighting of Greta Garbo? |
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Invisible Goat
Shoutbox Elitist
Grab your mother's keys, we're leaving
Posts: 2,630
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Post by Invisible Goat on Mar 23, 2015 11:23:28 GMT -5
Weather.com has some of the worst. Right now we have: It Won't Happen Again Until 2033 It Fell From Space, Then This Appeared In the Snow Eating This Might Be The Secret to Stopping It You'll Feel Guilty for Laughing, But Luckily She Wasn't Hurt Not one specific noun to be found. They're also rather fond of the "...then THIS Happened" thing. Also, pretty sure I WON'T feel guilty for laughing. I delight in others' misery! Fuck you, weather.com, you don't know me. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2015 11:27:04 GMT -5
HuffPo: 'He Told His Boyfriend, "I Love You." His Boyfriend's Response Brought Him To Tears.' ' These Gorgeous Dolly Parton Prints Will Renew Your Faith In Fan Art'
Buzzfeed: 'We Know What John Green Book You Are' '37 Reasons You Want To Experience “Harry Potter” For The First Time Again' Upworthy: 'After the surgery, they had no problem getting married.' I would so totally click that, and then probably be disappointed that the prints weren't as good as the ones in my imagination. |
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Ice Cream Planet
AV Clubber
I get glimpses of the horror of normalcy.
Posts: 3,833
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Post by Ice Cream Planet on Mar 23, 2015 11:27:46 GMT -5
Weather.com has some of the worst. Right now we have: It Won't Happen Again Until 2033 It Fell From Space, Then This Appeared In the Snow Eating This Might Be The Secret to Stopping It You'll Feel Guilty for Laughing, But Luckily She Wasn't Hurt Not one specific noun to be found. They're also rather fond of the "...then THIS Happened" thing. Also, pretty sure I WON'T feel guilty for laughing. I delight in others' misery! Fuck you, weather.com, you don't know me. Laughter is the best medicine!  |
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Ice Cream Planet
AV Clubber
I get glimpses of the horror of normalcy.
Posts: 3,833
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Post by Ice Cream Planet on Mar 23, 2015 11:29:32 GMT -5
HuffPo: 'He Told His Boyfriend, "I Love You." His Boyfriend's Response Brought Him To Tears.' ' These Gorgeous Dolly Parton Prints Will Renew Your Faith In Fan Art'
Buzzfeed: 'We Know What John Green Book You Are' '37 Reasons You Want To Experience “Harry Potter” For The First Time Again' Upworthy: 'After the surgery, they had no problem getting married.' I would so totally click that, and then probably be disappointed that the prints weren't as good as the ones in my imagination. . |
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Smacks
Shoutbox Elitist
Smacks from the Dead
Posts: 2,904 
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Post by Smacks on Mar 23, 2015 11:52:43 GMT -5
Weather.com has some of the worst. Right now we have: It Won't Happen Again Until 2033 It Fell From Space, Then This Appeared In the Snow Eating This Might Be The Secret to Stopping It You'll Feel Guilty for Laughing, But Luckily She Wasn't Hurt Not one specific noun to be found. They're also rather fond of the "...then THIS Happened" thing. Weather.com is the absolute worst. "Why so fear-mongering weather.com? Your headlines should just say "YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE" or "THE WORLD WILL END IN THREE MINUTES." Because that's pretty much what they're going for with every article. It's almost on par with fucking Infowars. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2015 11:53:01 GMT -5
I would so totally click that, and then probably be disappointed that the prints weren't as good as the ones in my imagination. . i genuinely love this one. Some of the others are good too!  |
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Post by X the Anonymous Zeus or Odin on Mar 23, 2015 13:45:59 GMT -5
I thought that was going to be a Clickhole link, but no... it actually was Buzzfeed. What the fuck? |
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Post by Ron Howard Voice on Mar 23, 2015 14:33:03 GMT -5
Weather.com has some of the worst. Right now we have: It Won't Happen Again Until 2033 It Fell From Space, Then This Appeared In the Snow Eating This Might Be The Secret to Stopping It You'll Feel Guilty for Laughing, But Luckily She Wasn't Hurt Not one specific noun to be found. They're also rather fond of the "...then THIS Happened" thing. Weather.com is the absolute worst. "Why so fear-mongering weather.com? Your headlines should just say "YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE" or "THE WORLD WILL END IN THREE MINUTES." Because that's pretty much what they're going for with every article. It's almost on par with fucking Infowars. I hate Weather.com. I use Weather Underground, but they got bought out by Weather.com, so it's only a matter of time before wunderground.com turns into an unreadable ad-infested layout disaster. |
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Smacks
Shoutbox Elitist
Smacks from the Dead
Posts: 2,904
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Post by Smacks on Mar 23, 2015 17:52:11 GMT -5
Weather.com is the absolute worst. "Why so fear-mongering weather.com? Your headlines should just say "YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE" or "THE WORLD WILL END IN THREE MINUTES." Because that's pretty much what they're going for with every article. It's almost on par with fucking Infowars. I hate Weather.com. I use Weather Underground, but they got bought out by Weather.com, so it's only a matter of time before wunderground.com turns into an unreadable ad-infested layout disaster. I have to update the weather.com rant with this gem: "Even China is worried now." Oh weather.com. You slay me. |
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Post by Lt. Broccoli on Mar 23, 2015 18:20:20 GMT -5
"20 Celebrities Who Married Regular People" (picture of Matt Damon)
"Inside Matt Damon's Miami Waterfront Mansion"
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Post by Pastafarian on Mar 23, 2015 18:22:23 GMT -5
Buzzfeed:
'A Door In Germany Broke Down And The Most Memetacular Thing Happened'
You fucking assholes! You don't get to just create words like that!
Upworthy:
'Wait, a toy company published *what* in its magazine for girls?'
'A group of celebrities asked me to visit a website. What I found was alarming, to say the least.'
'A customer walked into his pizza shop and changed Philadelphia with $1 and a single Post-it note.'
Buzzfeed again:
'Can You Guess The Celebrity From The Side-Eye? So much shade.'
The "side-eye"? Huh? You mean their "eye" you goddamned monkeys?
Ok, I've got to stop now or I'll just keep copying and pasting until i want to jump off of a bridge.
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Post by Pastafarian on Mar 23, 2015 18:23:43 GMT -5
"20 Celebrities Who Married Regular People" (picture of Matt Damon) "Inside Matt Damon's Miami Waterfront Mansion" I see those two on AV Club all the time. The regular people one in particular irks me, as if celebrities are demi gods who only occasionally turn into swans or bulls and come down to mix with us mortals. |
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Post by Lt. Broccoli on Mar 23, 2015 18:49:00 GMT -5
I see those two on AV Club all the time. The regular people one in particular irks me, as if celebrities are demi gods who only occasionally turn into swans or bulls and come down to mix with us mortals. There's another one specifically about "celebrities who married ugly people". |
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heroboy
AV Clubber
I must succeed!
Posts: 1,185
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Post by heroboy on Mar 24, 2015 10:57:50 GMT -5
"20 Celebrities Who Married Regular People" (picture of Matt Damon) "Inside Matt Damon's Miami Waterfront Mansion" I see those two on AV Club all the time. The regular people one in particular irks me, as if celebrities are demi gods who only occasionally turn into swans or bulls and come down to mix with us mortals. All of those "articles" are so terrible. Like there's the one that keeps popping up about celebrities who let themselves go, and it has a picture of Carrie Fisher next to someone else (Steven Tyler maybe?). If you look at the article, there's like one person who went really bad, and then 15 people who just surprisingly got older. Carrie Fisher is 58 and looks 58. Of course she doesn't have the same body she did 40 years ago. |
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Post by Murray the Demonic Skull on Mar 24, 2015 11:10:11 GMT -5
From the New Hampshire Journal of Internal Medicine
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