Tellyfier
TI Pariah 
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552 
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Post by Tellyfier on Apr 9, 2020 1:29:14 GMT -5
OK, I was dumb, even more than usual.
I'll try to redeem myself with the newest political joke from Russia. You have to know details of how Putin deals with Corona to get it but it's still pretty terrible:
Putin goes to a bar and declares:
"Free drinks for Everybody! It's on the house!"
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Apr 9, 2020 13:21:30 GMT -5
My son just dumped a bunch of LEGOs in the middle of the living room. I don’t know what to make of it.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Apr 30, 2020 18:51:37 GMT -5
Justice is best served cold. Otherwise, it's justwater.
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Apr 30, 2020 19:05:08 GMT -5
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Crash Test Dumbass
AV Clubber 
ffc what now
Posts: 7,058
Gender (additional): mostly snacks
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on May 1, 2020 8:41:49 GMT -5
So I'm dating this new girl, and she seems cool so far. We're getting to know each other, and I'm sure we'll find that we each have our positives and our negatives.
But the Swiss flag tattooed on her thigh? That's a big plus.
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Post by Celebith on May 6, 2020 21:32:22 GMT -5
Thanks for posting all these Dad jokes here. Saves me from having to build my own dad-a-base
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Crash Test Dumbass
AV Clubber
ffc what now
Posts: 7,058
Gender (additional): mostly snacks
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on May 17, 2020 14:45:16 GMT -5
So I'm dating this new girl, and she seems cool so far. We're getting to know each other, and I'm sure we'll find that we each have our positives and our negatives. But the Swiss flag tattooed on her thigh? That's a big plus. She has the banner of the former Soviet Socialist Republic on her back, though, and that's a huge red flag. |
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on May 18, 2020 9:31:41 GMT -5
A cowboy got married. The newlyweds are going from the church to his house in the prairie. Just after setting off, the horse drawing the coach stumbles a bit. The cowboy says: "One".
About halfway there, the horses stumbles again, and the cowboy comments: "Two"
Just short of his house, the horse stumbles one more time. The cowboy utters "Three" and shoots the horse.
His wife freaks out "What is wrong with you, you can't shoot a horse just for that!"
The cowboy says: "One"
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Post by Dr. Rumak on May 24, 2020 7:12:20 GMT -5
A priest, a rabbit, and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit: "What will you have?" The rabbit replies "I don't know. I'm only here because of autocorrect."
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on May 24, 2020 9:23:49 GMT -5
Thanks for posting all these Dad jokes here. Saves me from having to build my own dad-a-base  |
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on May 24, 2020 9:29:01 GMT -5
His wife freaks out "What is wrong with you, you can't shoot a horse just for that!" The cowboy says: "One"  |
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Post by Celebith on May 25, 2020 1:06:27 GMT -5
A priest, a rabbit, and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit: "What will you have?" The rabbit replies "I don't know. I'm only here because of autocorrect." A priest, a rabbi and a sailor walk in to a bar. The sailor looks around and says 'Ugh - I'm in the wrong joke.' |
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on May 25, 2020 3:50:05 GMT -5
I came for the terrible jokes but now I'm staying for 🔪 silly buns' reaction gifs. |
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Post by Prole Hole on May 25, 2020 9:50:28 GMT -5
I came for the terrible jokes but now I'm staying for 🔪 silly buns ' reaction gifs. Well, we all get turned on by different things I guess.... |
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on May 25, 2020 9:54:13 GMT -5
I came for the terrible jokes but now I'm staying for 🔪 silly buns ' reaction gifs. Well, we all get turned on by different things I guess....  |
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Crash Test Dumbass
AV Clubber
ffc what now
Posts: 7,058
Gender (additional): mostly snacks
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on May 25, 2020 21:01:55 GMT -5
Ever since the NHL cancelled this year's hockey season, nobody has seen the Zamboni drivers.
But I'm sure they'll resurface eventually.
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Crash Test Dumbass
AV Clubber
ffc what now
Posts: 7,058
Gender (additional): mostly snacks
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Jun 1, 2020 21:04:28 GMT -5
The LEGO stores might be opening soon, what with the easing of lockdown restrictions and all, but I'd avoid them for a while.
People will be lined up for blocks.
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Ben Grimm
TI Forumite
Posts: 7,541
Member is Online
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Post by Ben Grimm on Jun 2, 2020 8:29:16 GMT -5
The LEGO stores might be opening soon, what with the easing of lockdown restrictions and all, but I'd avoid them for a while. People will be lined up for blocks. I love a good brick joke. |
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Jun 2, 2020 8:39:43 GMT -5
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker face.
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Jun 2, 2020 8:40:26 GMT -5
What do you call a chicken looking at a lettuce?
Chicken caesar salad.
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Jun 2, 2020 8:41:04 GMT -5
I got attacked yesterday by a gang of six dwarfs. Not happy.
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Jun 3, 2020 4:55:47 GMT -5
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
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Post by WKRP Jimmy Drop on Jun 4, 2020 0:55:10 GMT -5
A ranger, a cleric, a rogue, & a paladin walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a party?”
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Crash Test Dumbass
AV Clubber
ffc what now
Posts: 7,058
Gender (additional): mostly snacks
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Jun 10, 2020 10:38:42 GMT -5
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Jun 13, 2020 6:49:49 GMT -5
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Jun 15, 2020 2:27:46 GMT -5
Doctor, I broke my leg three times in the same place!
Well, you shouldn't go there anymore.
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Post by Prole Hole on Jun 15, 2020 8:27:11 GMT -5
The past the present and the future walked into a bar.
It was tense.
*self-terminates*
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Crash Test Dumbass
AV Clubber
ffc what now
Posts: 7,058
Gender (additional): mostly snacks
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Post by Crash Test Dumbass on Jun 15, 2020 9:40:07 GMT -5
The past the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense. *self-terminates* Thanks, that was perfect. |
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Ben Grimm
TI Forumite
Posts: 7,541
Member is Online
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Post by Ben Grimm on Jun 15, 2020 16:58:17 GMT -5
The past the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense. *self-terminates* Thanks, that was perfect. Your complimenting him was very progressive. |
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Jun 16, 2020 12:46:16 GMT -5
It's time to move past this one.
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