Media I have spent my entire life avoiding

I appreciate that your roomie went out of their way to show you the literal worst episode of the entire show. (It's one of those cases where the audio commentary lambasting it is better than the actual episode.)

Dave Matthews lived near my college at the time I went there. My friend and I once kicked him out of a table at place we were eating lunch at.  Long story short, it was our table from the beginning. Everyone was like "That was Dave Matthews" and we were like, "This is our table! And who the hell is Dave Matthews?"

My mind's gone nearly completely blank, all I can think of is anything starring Jennifer Lawrence, because I am horrible

and to hell with Dave Matthews

(note I also have no idea who Dave Matthews is)

Serialization has ruined TV for me!  I don't watch anything now, because I can't stand everything having to have complicated through-plots, and then series end up going for too long and eventually all the characters end up doing things that aren't actually in character at all but exist just to generate plot, and honestly, I prefer to have my TV shows be about people who do the same thing over and over again.  I mean, if you really think about it, that's almost truer to life, since my own life experiences are that I go to work with the same cast of characters (that has occasional rotations as people move on to other jobs elsewhere and new cast members arrive), and we do the same shit every day, and we don't all fall in and out of bed with each other or have crazy melodramatic things happen to us, and time passes without much notice and all of a sudden you realize it's been five years and nothing changed at all over that time other than your hairstyle.  This is why I love procedurals!  They speak my real-life language!  (It probably goes without saying, then, that I have avoided all of the "prestige" series of this Golden Age of Television that we live in.)

That said, dude, doctor procedurals -- enough.  I don't understand how new hospital shows keep getting made.  They all look exactly the same, and surely all the stories have already been told, right?  I'll totally pass on all doctor shows.

Unrelated, I am also avoiding Hamilton.  By the time I realized what it was and how frantically everyone loved it, the hype was more than it could ever possibly live up to.  Not interested in Hamilton, not one bit.

Regarding True Crime, you are right on the money and phrased it better than I have been able to in the past. Who the hell wants to read about or hear about this kind of stuff for the purposes of entertainment? I mean, even if we take the "its educational/for a cause" argument at face value, there's still no need to include the amount of graphic detail that most true crime seems to gleefully add.  Reality is worse than fiction and some of the true crime stuff I have seen is more disturbing than the most exploitative horror films I can think of.  And people want to listen to this stuff on their commute home from work or before going to bed?  And ask if I am following it, too? And have gleeful little clubs to discuss it? Yeah, I'm going to pretend none of this exists. There's other, more pressing problems in the world. 

I agree that it's a very bad series of commercials that I also hate, and that your "cousin's" anger at Bud Light's "appropriation" of Ren-Faire culture is amusing.  Also, if one interprets the commercials from a shallowly Marxist perspective, do they not imply that Bud Light, as the beer that feudal lords deign to distribute to their subjects, is an inferior beer, and the product of, to quote Marx himself "the most slothful indolence"?

I watch nearly 100% of my television on Netflix or DVR so haven't sat through a commercial in a long time. Glad to hear Bud Light is still making shitty ads though.

Omigod we are in such agreement. I’ve always been into cartoons (and I am that rare breed of casual anime fan) but I cannot get into the new crop of Cartoon Network shows beyond Teen Titans Go! And that’s mostly out of love for Teen Titans, which was anime-level good.

Can I go a step further and say "adults' shows with ugly animation" ? Any time I see a still frame from Bojack Horseman or Big Mouth I feel the vomit begin to rise up.

Forever. I always thought it looked dumb on the rare occasions I saw some footage as a kid. I didn't own and still have never played any of the video games. The thing I remember watching after Saturday morning cartoons was American Gladiators. Then when I was in high school in the late 90s the worst sort of dudes were into it, which certainly didn't add to the appeal. Since then I've had sports if I want to watch sports and actors if I want to watch actors; I've seen half of that Mickey Rourke movie; I've glanced at the TV that always has wrestling on when we go out to eat at Krazy Kebob.

I actually do enjoy wrestling, despite never being a redneck. It's stupid and loud and ridiculous and I like it anyway. We're not always rational in our likes and dislikes, though.