Star Trek: The Next Generation - S02E18 - Up The Long Ladder
It's been awhile since I rapped at you and it's entirely the coronavirus' fault! See, since things really popped off in America all sorts of entertainment companies and personalities have been releasing all sorts of amusements for cheap as free. One of those companies was the WWE who offered up a pared down version of the WWE Network for cheap as free and so I spent the last few weeks watching Royal Rumbles in chronological order. There's something bizarrely soothing about watching huge oily roid fiends attempting to throw each other out of a wrestling ring, but that is neither here nor there. The free version stopped this week so it's back to the grind...
Today we're looking at the 18th episode of the much maligned second season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Up The Long Ladder. So let's get down to it!
Preexisting PrejudicesI don't remember this by title alone and the Netflix description is vague enough that it could be one of about a half dozen different episodes of this show. My one great hope though is some people finally fuck again. It's been way too long since anyone boned on this goddamn program.
Plot SynopsisOn the Enterprise, Worf looks antsy as fuck and is randomly growlin' at shit while some good-ass 80s horror synth jams blast. Picard shows up and summons Riker With Beard to join him in his office. Riker With Beard joins him and leaves Data in charge.
In Picard's office, he plays some random beeping for Riker With Beard. Riker With Beard recognizes it as an old-timey distress signal. Picard praises Riker With Beard, telling him that it took Starbase research hours to come to that conclusion.
Riker With Beard asks when it started and Picard replies, "Last month. Just kicked in without any warning." This line of dialogue struck me as funny for some reason. Anyway Picard tells him that it's Terran in origin but it's a code that hasn't been used in centuries. Riker wants to know where the signal originated and Picard tells him the Ficus Sector.
They ask Computer about it and she tells them that it was used by the European Hegemony, an alliance from the 22nd Century that was a precursor to World Government according to history fan, Picard. They ask Computer about all the deep space launches during the European Hegemony. Nothing from the Ficus Sector comes up so they decide to go find out who is out there.
They go back on to the bridge and find a gaggle of bridge crew standing about. Worf is down! Data calls for Doctor Grandma to come to the bridge for a medical emergency and then tells Picard that Worf just collapsed.
After that good, good opening theme song, Picard kicks things off by dropping a Captain's Log explaining that they are haulin' ass to investigate the mysterious distress signal while elsewhere Doctor Grandma is checking out Worf to see why the fuck he fainted.
And we then go to the Sick Bay to check in on that plotline. Worf is conscious again and insisting that he is fine. Doctor Grandma tells him that he clearly is not fine since he fainted. Worf is insistent that, "Klingons do not faint," so Doctor Grandma is a sarcastic dick to him before finally telling him what the problem is. Turns out that Worf had ropnorg, a childhood ailment.
Worf wonders how he will live down the humiliation of being a loser little titty-baby who gets diseases for children and asks Doctor Grandma how Riker With Beard would feel if he caught the measles. She admits that he's probably feel like a loser little titty-baby too and so when Picard calls to check on Worf she lies and says that Worf had been fasting as part of a Klingon ritual and did not take into account his need to reduce his energy expenditure along with his decreased caloric intake. Worf thanks her for preserving his dignity and then leaves without getting any sort of treatment for his disease.
Meanwhile in Picard's office, Data enters and reminds Picard that due to the fact that the 22nd century was a time of coked up soldiers in anoraks, record keeping at that time was spotty at best which might be why there is no record of any ships being launched towards the Ficus Sector, but "someone had to load that ship."
Picard realizes that that means there will certainly be a manifest...which honestly seems like a more likely record to have been overlooked during the chaos of the 22nd century or lost to the annals of time than "date when a spaceship blasted off." Picard is of course absolutely correct in his assumption and Computer easily pulls up the ship manifest for a ship called the Mairpose ("The Spanish word for butterfly") blasted off for the Ficus Sector on November 27, 2123.
Data tells Picard that he thought that the name of the ship's English translation might have been important, but Picard tells him, "It doesn't appear to be, Data." Clearly it is going to be the most important thing about this particular ship by the time the episode is done because if there's one thing that Picard and Riker With Beard love, it's to cause an exciting episode of Star Trekking to happen by not listening to the concerns and opinions of their underlings.
Anyway, Picard says, "You learn a lot about people from their luggage," and then starts listing off the junk on the manifest. Data gets hung up on what a spinning wheel is and goes into dictionary mode while Picard continues ranting about "actual livestock" and stuff. I guess this is supposed to be comedy. It just strikes me as annoying.
Anyway, Picard eventually tells Data to knock it off and theorize as to why some 22nd century idiots would take a bunch of sheep and Toshiba computers into space with them. Data talks about a popular post-World War III philosopher named Liam Degan and his Neo-Transcendentalism movement. It advocated a return to nature and other such bullshit. Picard wonders why people following such a movement would need a fuckton of laptops and cellphones then. Data doesn't know.
Back in Sick Bay Worf shows up with a tray with a some cups and shit on it. He tells Doctor Grandma that he wanted to thank her for keeping his secret since apparently after Picard's heart operation in the last episode it's clear that she gives zero fucks about HIPAA rules.
She gets a table and tells Worf that she's honored because no one has ever performed the Klingon tea ceremony before for her. She then performs the tea ceremony herself while Worf watches. Doctor Grandma is apparently whatever the Next Generation version of a white lady who's really into "Eastern thought" is. Worf is surprised that she knows this shit and she tells him that she understands "the externals, not the mysteries," on account of not actually being a Klingon ("Though I wish I was," is left unsaid).
Worf warns her not to actually drink the tea since it's super deadly to humans. She replies that it's not particularly good for Klingons either and Worf explains that it's a test of bravery that gives one a chance to look in the face of mortality and be reminded that death, like the tea, is an experience that is best shared.
Doctor Grandma gets a lady boner over Worf's poetic words and rushes off to get a space syringe. She jabs herself with it. It's an antidote to whatever toxin is in the tea. She and Worf drink together and then Doctor Grandma hornily declares, "Now quote me a little of that poetry!"
The Enterprise enters the Ficus Sector and begins scanning planets looking for some sign of life. Data tells Picard that there are solar flares going on which is undoubtedly why the distress signal went off. Data determines that one of the planets is a class M planet and that there are signs of human life 30 meters below the surface of the planet. They try to hail the people on the planet but get no response.
The bridge crew mulls over what to do. Worf suggests beaming them all up en masse, but Troi says that randomly beaming them aboard might scare them since they've lived in isolation for 300 years. And so they decide that Riker With Beard will go down to the planet alone to talk with them.
This is almost the exact same plot as that episode where Data made friends with a girl with too long fingers only that time everyone was pissed off that Data wanted to do something to save his "friend." If you're not going to give me consistent fucking at least give me some fucking consistency Star Trek: The Next Generation. Is that too goddamn much to ask? Apparently it is, because Riker With Beard promptly beams down to the planet and no one is like, "WHAT ABOUT THE PRIME DIRECTIVE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT BULLSHIT IS CALLED?!"
Picard drops another Captain's Log to let us know that some time has passed. Riker With Beard has enterted the caves and begun to prepare the residents of the planet for evacuation. We then check in on the bridge where Picard phones Riker With Beard to ask him how things are going. Riker With Beard tells him it's going well but there's a hangup with the leader of the group that they are debating. Picard's like, "Fuck that noise! We don't have time you can debate with whatever the fuck you're debating up here on the Enterprise! Prepare to beam up!"
Riker With Beard is like, "Okay..." and then calls O'Brien to tell him to prepare for the first load of refugees. He energizes the teleportation machine and beams up a heap of humans, a couple kids, some farm animal, hay and barrels as an Irish jig begins to play. Oh fuck it's this episode...
Some more Irishmen beam up in addition to more pigs and ducks and shit. Riker With Beard tells O'Brien that the third group of refugees would be in position. The leader of the Irishmen goes over to O'Brien and shakes his hand and tells he that he "should have known t'would be a good Irishman running this ship," and offers him a drink from a flash. Get it? He's drunk because he's Irish!
Picard and Worf come in and are like, "WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?!"
The lead Irishman starts hollering at Picard but then gets scared after seeing Worf and changes his tune. His name is Danilo O'Dell or something. Picard wants to know why all the animals are randomly wandering about his ship. Riker With Beard tells him, "It was either this or arguing till hell froze over."
O'Dell tells Picard that he couldn't leave the animals to die and that without them there would be no way for them to rebuild their futures. Picard has O'Brien beam all the Irishmen to a cargo hold and then leaves. O'Dell goes after him and asks him if he's married and then tries to pawn off his daughter on Picard. What in the fuck is this? Picard turns him down. O'Dell asks him if he's sure. Picard is quite sure.
Later in the conference room Worf informs Picard that there 223 space Irishmen now aboard the Enterprise. Doctor Grandma adds that two more will be born in the next few days. It is unclear how many sheep, ducks, and cows are now chillin' on the Enterprise. Doctor Grandma says that the space Irishmen, "were anachronistic in 2123," which is something of an understatement since they were anachronistic in the 1920s.
An alarm klaxon starts to sounds and a Red Shirt phones Worf to tell him there's a fire in cargo hold seven. Picard is clearly exasperated and wants to know what the space Irishmen have done to his ship.
Worf, Riker With Beard, and Picard go down to the cargo hold and O'Dell bellows at Picard telling him that the Enterprise is "a bloody death trap," with "lightning bolts falling from the ceiling." He is not pleased. Worf explains that it was a fire system and that the lightning bolt was a force field that would have contained the flame until the oxygen within had all been consumed.
O'Dell asks him, "What if I had been under that thing?"
Worf, rather matter-of-factly, tells him, "You would have been standing in the fire," and then when pressed further tells O'Dell that he would have suffocated and died if he had been trapped by the force field.
A babe of a space Irish woman appears and starts shrilly scolding all the men for the lasers that were popping off when she was trying to cook dinner. Stereotypes, we got 'em! Picard apologizes to her saying that he was unaware that they hadn't been shown how to use the food machines. Riker With Beard, meanwhile, male gazes the shit out of the space Irish babe.
She calls Riker With Beard out for this asking him, "Have you never seen a woman before?"
Riker With Beard tries to spit game at her by replying "I thought I had."
O'Dell introduces the babe as his daughter Brenna. She scolds him shrilly again and accuses all the menfolk of being drunks. Dad O'Dell the scurries off and Picard absolutely starts losing his shit. He's straight up cracking up. I wonder if this was in the script or just Pat Stew being unable to get through the scene since it seems like genuine laughter and it's very much out of character for Picard. Riker With Beard is like, "You okay boss?" and a still belly-laughing Picard replies that sometimes, "you just have to bow to the absurd."
Brenna continues scolding dudes for "always talking when there's work to be done," and dismissively asks Picard if he shouldn't be flying the ship "or whatever it is you do?" Picard and Worf leave, but Riker With Beard offers to stay behind and give Brenna some help and by help he means dick.
Brenna starts messing around with some hay on the floor but Riker tells her that she doesn't need to do that since the ship will clean itself. She yells some more and then asks him where a girl could go to wash her feet. He offers to show since that's his responsibility as First Officer...
Out in the hallway, Worf declares Brenna to be very much like a Klingon woman. O'Dell runs out after him and Picard and says that in all the hustle and bustle there was something he forgot to ask Picard. Picard tells him to get to the point and O'Dell asks if in their travels they heard anything from "the other colony."
Back from break, Picard drops a Captain's Log explaining that they've check the charts and have located another class M planet only half a light year from the system where they picked up the space Irishmen and that they are now heading there on the premise that it is where the dudes with the computers and cellphones ended up going.
Meanwhile in Riker With Beard's quarters, Brenna scolds Riker With Beard for being a slob and begins cleaning up. She's randomly wearing a croptop now for some reason. I first assumed that it was to indicate a somewhat lengthy passage of time, but dialogue later in the scene makes me think that this scene is supposed to take place moments after the last scene we saw her in. She tells him that he's shown her so many wondrous things on his ship but is still waiting to wash her feet.
Riker With Beard tells her where the bathroom is. She starts to strip off her skirts and then asks him if there's something wrong. Riker With Beard is confused and she clarifies, "Do you not like girls?" He tells her that he does and then asks if there is a special technique for foot washing.
Brenna tells him, "You generally start at the top and work your way down."
Riker undoes her hair like she's one of the teachers in Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" music video and the two start making out. The camera fades to black and I let out a triumphant cry of "AW YE YE!" Finally after Christ knows how many episodes we finally get some more fucking! Our mang Riker With Beard has been trying for the bulk of this season to take a trip to the Bone Zone and finally on one of the worst episodes of not just this season, but the entire series gets to hang up the George W. Bush aircraft carrier "Mission Accomplished" banner.
Back down in the cargo hold, Worf meets with O'Dell after being summoned by him. O'Dell's trying brew poitin but needs a fire to do so. Worf tells him that he can just use the food machine to make booze if he wants. O'Dell's like, "It's not that synthehol shit that O'Brien gave me is it?" Worf assures him that he can get legit booze too "with all the deleterious effects intact."
O'Dell tells him that that is how things should be since "every moment of pleasure in life has to be purchased by an equal moment of pain."
O'Dell orders a whiskey and drinks it down but is unimpressed by it's lack of bite. Worf has the machine make some kind of Klingon booze. It has steam coming off of it. O'Dell drinks some and does some Benny Hill Show levels of Drunk Irishman shtick.
It is at this moment that a freshly fucked Brenna shows back up. She goes immediately back into scold mode. She's there to talk about the children. Doctor Grandma wants the space Irish lads and lasses to go to school with the Enterprise kids. O'Dell asks her what she thinks about it. She tells him that she thinks it's a good idea and then yells at her dad to go take care of it. She yells at the other men loitering about as well and then scolds Worf for teaching the men that the food machine can make more than meat and potatoes since it will now be impossible to "get a lick of work out of them."
Worf asks her if she's ever considered a career in security and she replies, "If it's anything like babysitting, I'm an authority." All the womenfolk laugh.
A brief Captain's Log later, the Enterprise arrives at the other class M planet and is promptly hailed by it. A man introducing himself as Wilson Granger, the Prime Minister of Mariposa, greets him. Data wonders if this Wilson Granger is a descendant of Walter Granger, the captain of the Mariposa spaceship. Wilson says that that is not entirely accurate and then says that when no one came to check on them they all assumed that some catastrophe had befallen Earth.
Picard explains that it was entirely bureaucracy's fault that the colony of Mariposa fell through the cracks but they are here now and eager to renew ties. Granger is pleased by this and invites them to the planet. Picard tells Riker With Beard to assemble an away team. Troi, however, is concerned since Wilson Granger is hiding something. Riker With Beard decides that in such a risky situation the two people he needs are Worf...and Doctor Grandma.
The three space heroes beam down to Planet Tech Start-Up and are greeted by Wilson Granger wearing a completely different outfit from the one he had on when rapping with Picard on the space phone...oh wait, no, this is a different guy. This cat is Victor Granger, the Minister of Health. He leads the trio to the Prime Minster's office and as he does Riker With Beard and Worf see a trio of identical women standing at a desk. Riker With Beard is of the mind that there is, and I quote, "Something damn odd down here." A fourth identical woman walks past them.
While they walk, Victor Granger asks Doctor Grandma if she's a medical doctor grandma or a scientific doctor grandma. She tells him that she's a doctor grandma of medicine and he seems pleased but won't tell her what the issue is until they meet the Prime Minster. Doctor Grandma randomly does a medical scan on some dude standing by a statue. The lack of consent has to be some sort of Starfleet violation but whatever, we've got plot to drive!
They all enter the Prime Minster's office and after some introductions, Doctor Grandma gets right to the point and asks him if the entire population consists of clones.
"Clones?" asks Worf.
"Clones?" asks Riker With Beard.
"Clones," says Prime Minster Granger.
"CLONES!" I bellow.
"Clones? Why are you yelling about clones?" asks my wife.
Back from break Picard drops another Captain's Log explaining that he has invited Prime Minister Granger to the Enterprise to discuss the future of the Mariposa colony.
In the conference room, Granger explains that when the ship landed 300 years ago the hull was breached and only five colonists survived. Those who remained were all scientists so they turned to cloning since they weren't willing to just give up and the 2 women and 3 men that survived were not a sufficiently diverse gene pool from which to build a society.
Doctor Grandma wants to know how they dealt with the horniess. Granger explains that they initially used drugs to suppress sex drives and also punished people with punitive laws but after 300 years, the very idea of fucking is repugnant to them. This dude is anathema to everything this scientific study is about.
Doctor Grandma wants to know how he solved the problem of clones being the same as bootleg audio cassettes of Smashing Pumpkins shows or VHS of weird Japanese death match wrestling from the 90s in that with each subsequent copy the clone gets less and less high fidelity. They haven't apparently which is why Granger is so glad the Enterprise showed up when they did. Granger wants them to hook him up with some tissue samples so they can get some fresh-ass DNA in the mix.
Riker With Beard's like, "No fucking way buddy!" He goes on a jag about how one Riker With Beard is unique and perhaps even special but multiple Rikers With Beards? What then? Oh buddy I've got some bad news for you down the line when Tom Riker With Beard shows up...
Picard's like, "Sorry Granger but I think everyone on the Enterprise is going to be completely against the entire cloning thing."
Granger's like, "Okay, can you help us fix our machines then if you're not going to give us any DNA?" Picard is agreeable to this and has Geordi put together a team to fix the machines. Doctor Grandma asks to go back to the planet to study why a 6th generation VHS copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special looks like shit and Granger agrees since she might find some solution that they overlooked.
Geordi, with a repair team, goes down to Mariposa along with Doctor Grandma and Riker With Beard. Some time passes, and Riker With Beard and Doctor Grandma go to the Prime Minster to inform him that the repairs are almost completed. Granger asks them if they won't reconsider giving him some tissue samples and Riker With Beard again tells him that it's out of the question and so the Prime Minister puts Riker With Beard and Doctor Grandma on blast and drags has them dragged off.
Geordi enters a moment later and asks Granger if he's seen Riker With Beard or Doctor Grandma. He says that he hasn't and Geordi apologizes for bothering him and leaves to look for them. He won't find them though since they're in some laboratory getting giant needles shoved into their stomachs.
Back on the Enterprise, Geordi asks Riker With Beard and Doctor Grandma what happened to them on Mariposa. They are confused as to why he would ask such a thing and Geordi tells them that whenever he asked where they were, one of the clones would lie to him. He then explains that his V.I.S.O.R. also lets him detect when humans are lying (though this power doesn't always work on aliens).
Doctor Grandma explains that she and Riker With Beard had gone to see Granger. Geordi tells them that Granger said that he hadn't seen them but neither Riker With Beard nor Doctor Grandma remember if they actually made it to the Prime Minister's office. Doctor Grandma gets out a scanner and scans everyone and tells Geordi that his stomach doesn't have any cells missing but both she and Riker With Beard are missing some cells. Apparently stomach cells are the best cells to clone from. I'm not a scientist and reading about science makes my head hurt so I'm going to assume that this is scientifically accurate but if anyone knows better and wants to be like, "It doesn't actually matter," or something of that level of explanation you're welcome to.
Riker With Beard is furious and immediately beams down to the Mariposa cloning labs and puts a couple of clones in cloning machines on blast. Granger shows up and calls him a murderer but Riker With Beard's is stoked about getting to say hell and damn and tells him, "LIKE HELL! You're a DAMN thief!"
Granger asks him what else he could have done. They are desperate and have a right to survive.
Back on the Enterprise Doctor Grandma tells Picard that the colony at Mariposa is in dire straits and that within two or three generations the copies of copies of copies will have become too much and their DNA will be too garbled to do anything with. Riker With Beard gets all "IT'S A METAPHOR ABOUT A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE!" and says that he wants to inspect the cloning equipment check out to see if other tissue samples were taken, "We certainly have a right to exercise control over our own bodies!"
Troi says that the people on Mariposa might seem weird, but they are humans and are fighting for survival like all humans would. Picard asks her if she's suggesting giving them the DNA samples they need, but Doctor Grandma tells him that that would only delay the inevitable and, "what they need is breeding stock."
"THE SPACE IRISHMEN!" exclaims Picard.
Everyone thinks this is a great idea since the Space Irishmen love to fuck and the colonists from Mariposa know how to run shit and do science. Though they realize that it's going to "have to be a shotgun wedding."
Later Picard meets with O'Dell and Prime Minister Granger. Granger is not keen on bringing a mess of Irishmen to his planet but Picard explains that the Irishmen can help due to their love of fucking. Granger explains that the space Irishman are too much hassle to attempt to educated and O'Dell is like, "I'm not going to beg this douchelord for charity."
Picard tells them to knock it the fuck off and then tells Granger that Riker With Beard wants to check all their machines for stolen tissue samples and that he might need to bring their equipment onto the Enterprise to do so. Granger tells him that he sees how it is, "When reason fails you'll resort to blackmail."
Picard tells him to just destroy himself and his people then. Doctor Grandma tells Picard that it's actually better for Starfleet since in 50 years time there will be a fully developed class M planet ready to be colonized. The realization of how little time they actually have hits Granger and he begins to reconsider though says there will be many difficulties. O'Dell tells him that the Space Irishmen are decent hardworking people and that they're willing to learn.
Granger then says that it's been 300 years and no one on Mariposa knows how to fuck anymore. O'Dell starts to explain how to fuck but is interrupted by Doctor Grandma who says that for several generations monogamous marriages will not be possible for several generations in order to create a healthier more varied genetic base. She recommends that each woman Space Irish and Mariposan have at least three children by three different men.
O'Dell is cool with this but Granger says it's repugnant but ultimately agrees to it. O'Dell spits in his hand and then he and Granger shake. O'Dell then leaves to go pick out his three women which isn't really what Doctor Grandma suggested. She said a woman would have three men not a man will have three women but I guess the end result is kind of the same.
Picard says that he must be out of his mind and Doctor Grandma tells him that Starfleet will probably agree with that statement.
Down in the cargo hold, O'Dell goes to talk to Brenna while Granger stares at a very pregnant woman holding a baby goat and looks like he wants to touch her stomach. Brenna starts yelling again about how the men drink and solve problems in abstract ways and then leave it up to the women to actually work out the details.
Picard tells her that she was the one that wanted a new home. She replies that she did but doesn't know if she wants to be Eve. Picard tells her that the choice is up to her and that if she doesn't want to go to Mariposa he can take her to a random spacebase and from there she's free to go wherever she wishes.
She doesn't want to leave her dad though. Picard tells her that if it's going to work "these people" will need her scolding and shrill yelling which apparently constitutes "strength and guidance" in Captain Picard's eyes.
Brenna asks Picard what Granger does and declares it to be important sounding when Picard tells her he's Prime Minster. "Sounds like he might have more than two coins to rub together," she says and then heads over to flirt with him, wistfully declaring, "Three husbands?" as she goes. And that's the episode!
How Rikered Was Riker With Beard?The fact that Riker With Beard responded to getting cloned against his will by immediately beaming down to a cloning lab and just blasting random clones that might not have even been him (they didn't look like him at all in the cloning bed) seems like the actions of an angry drunk. I don't really blame him since I'd probably do the same thing if I was cloned against my will but I'm sure there are more even keeled and levelheaded responses that one would hope a Utopian future like Star Trek: The Next Generation would have allowed for.
Final ThoughtsAs far as a television show goes, this is one of the worst episodes of this show I've ever seen. Like even back in 1989 the Irish stereotypes presented here would have been dated. I mean I half expected Lucky the mascot for Lucky Charms cereal to show up and bellow about Worf being out to get his Lucky Charms. That's the level of cliche and stereotype we're talking about here.
With regards to the cloning stuff, I'm no scientist, but I really find it hard to believe that cloning would work the way it was presented here with generational degradation and even if it were if the people on Mariposa had the knowledge to clone an entire human being, wouldn't they also possess the knowledge of genetics required to fuck around with DNA to repair whatever DNA issues might arise from cloning? Like in these modern times, we're a lot closer to getting the Gattaca "What color do you want your kid's eyes to be?" sort of genetics fuckery than we are to being able to clone an entire human being, but like I said, not a scientist.
Unrelated to the overall quality of the episode was the brief subplot about Worf having measles and then being buddies with Doctor Grandma after she lied about what was actually wrong with him. It was a fine angle to go with but it had nothing to do with anything else in the episode and didn't tie in to any of the main storylines. I kind of expected there to be some episode ending coda to that plotline but there wasn't so the entire presence of it struck me as odd, like the episode ran five minutes short or something so they tacked this additional C-plot on.
While it was a terrible, terrible episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, this is not a review where episode quality is of primary concern. No, dear readers, this is the Star Trek Fuck Report, which means fucking is paramount and so...
Fuck CountIt's been 14 LOOOOOOONG episodes since I've gotten to update this section but finally I get to add to the tally of boning. While there is undoubtedly an insane amount of fucking that transpired on Mariposa as a direct result of the actions that took place in this episode that all falls outside of the auspices of this study, but what does fall squarely under the auspices outlined when this study was first announced is the bathroom boning that our main mang Riker With Beard undertook with Brenna O'Dell.
Riker With Beard: +1
Brenna O'Dell: +1
Total Fucks for Episode: 2
Total Fucks for Season: 8 (+1~3)
Total Fucks for Series: 14 (+1~3)
