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Post by Lurky McLurk on Oct 23, 2023 6:43:15 GMT -5
I got a priest in to perform an exorcism on my house, but when I couldn't pay him the house was repossessed.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah 
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552 
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Post by Tellyfier on Oct 23, 2023 7:16:57 GMT -5
I dipped my balls in glitter.
It's honestly pretty nuts.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber 
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Oct 29, 2023 7:01:01 GMT -5
I've just been told the clocks are going back soon. Not on my watch.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Nov 2, 2023 8:00:46 GMT -5
I once heard that icy is the easiest word to spell. Looking at it now, I see why.
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Nov 2, 2023 11:07:30 GMT -5
Society now seems to think it's ok for women to have children after 35, but I still think that's too many.
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Nov 7, 2023 10:45:42 GMT -5
Aww, do you miss chatting with me in the shoutbox that much Tellyfier ? Also, well done all. There have been some terrible jokes since I last checked in. |
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Nov 14, 2023 7:13:29 GMT -5
Aww, do you miss chatting with me in the shoutbox that much Tellyfier ? Also, well done all. There have been some terrible jokes since I last checked in. Miss you all the time everywhere, my stabby B-Day twin! Glad you "liked" them, there's been a few even I am ashamed of lately but what can a german do when he has to Blitzkrieg a Frenchman in the short but brutal SOT War. |
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Nov 14, 2023 7:18:30 GMT -5
I went to a paraplegic strip club the other night.
The place was crawling with pussy.
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LazBro
Prolific Poster 
Posts: 10,278
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Post by LazBro on Nov 14, 2023 10:45:59 GMT -5
I went to a paraplegic strip club the other night. The place was crawling with pussy. Jesus, Telly! I can't wait to tell the Mrs. that one. |
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Nov 16, 2023 11:17:54 GMT -5
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Nov 16, 2023 11:19:18 GMT -5
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner....they're usually 90°
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Nov 21, 2023 9:41:15 GMT -5
Every morning, I step outside, and get hit by a bike.
It's a vicious cycle.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Nov 28, 2023 5:06:05 GMT -5
What's the best thing about sex with 28-year-olds?
There's 20 of them.
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Nov 30, 2023 14:37:29 GMT -5
Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!  |
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Dec 1, 2023 5:09:23 GMT -5
I've been trying to explain the sunk cost fallacy to my friend for ages, and I'm not giving up now.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Dec 3, 2023 11:37:36 GMT -5
I'm training to be a sound technician, but I can't handle the feedback.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Dec 4, 2023 6:48:15 GMT -5
There's a new restaurant that opened on the moon. Great food, but no atmosphere.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Dec 11, 2023 9:40:52 GMT -5
The Innuendo Society is reporting a huge rise in its members.
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Dec 11, 2023 9:44:01 GMT -5
What do you get if you cross a seal with a hungry polar bear?
A polar bear.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Dec 11, 2023 10:54:51 GMT -5
I'm getting everyone in my family broken drums for Christmas.
As gifts, those just can't be beat.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Dec 13, 2023 5:27:22 GMT -5
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can?
His wife died.
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Dec 14, 2023 12:09:11 GMT -5
What type of drink do ghosts enjoy?
Boo-s
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Dec 15, 2023 14:31:10 GMT -5
I’ve been sacked from my job as a taxi driver after some complaints. I guess people don’t like it when you go that extra mile for them.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Dec 21, 2023 7:24:41 GMT -5
I used to be the DJ at Stonehenge, but I no longer mix in those circles.
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Post by Ben Grimm on Dec 21, 2023 12:41:59 GMT -5
I used to be the DJ at Stonehenge, but I no longer mix in those circles. I had that gig once, but left it for a job at the Eiffel Tower. I had wanted to move from rock to metal. |
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Jan 1, 2024 12:23:49 GMT -5
I went to see my therapist the other day. I told him my brother is too competitive, and loves it when I fail at things - even the crossword.
'Don't get too down,' he said.
'Jeez,' I said, 'not you as well.'
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Jan 3, 2024 17:34:45 GMT -5
What's the difference between Disney and Porn?
Disney teaches you to hate your stepmother.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Jan 3, 2024 17:38:52 GMT -5
I'll never forget when my best friend excitedly told me: "It's a boy!"
We never went to Thailand again.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Jan 3, 2024 17:57:32 GMT -5
Times are ever changing.
You used to get a letter from the Queen on your 100st Birthday.
Now you get an e-mail from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Jan 6, 2024 12:20:18 GMT -5
I went to the urologist the other week and he told me I needed to stop masturbating.
"Why?" I asked him.
"Because I'm trying to examine you."
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