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Post by Dr. Rumak on Jan 8, 2024 9:53:09 GMT -5
Watching the fish in my home aquarium really helps me relax.
It's probably due to the indoor fins.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Jan 16, 2024 11:17:40 GMT -5
My granddad used to say, 'As one door closes, another one opens.' Lovely man. Rubbish cabinetmaker. He probably wasn't the best engineer Boeing ever hired, either. |
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Post by 🔪 silly buns on Jan 16, 2024 13:30:21 GMT -5
judgy cat is judging all of your jokes
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Jan 23, 2024 11:29:32 GMT -5
My wife caught me cheating when she found all those letters I'd been hiding.
She's says she's never playing Scrabble with me again.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah 
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552 
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Post by Tellyfier on Jan 24, 2024 7:29:06 GMT -5
Why is China so good at Cricket?
They take out every other country with just one bat.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Jan 24, 2024 7:36:08 GMT -5
What's the difference between a hamburger and a boner?
Nobody here ever gave me a hamburger.
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Post by MrsLangdonAlger on Jan 27, 2024 22:58:05 GMT -5
My girlfriend kept nagging me everyday to stop acting like a flamingo. She just would not stop. It got so bad, I finally had to put my foot down.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Feb 1, 2024 5:12:18 GMT -5
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I never had a lentil on my face.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber 
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Feb 5, 2024 11:32:17 GMT -5
Anyone want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure.
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Post by Ben Grimm on Feb 5, 2024 13:55:15 GMT -5
Anyone want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure. Someone tried to sell me a pneumatic press one time using his standard script, but I got tired of his high pressure sales tactics. |
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Post by Jean-Luc Lemur on Feb 6, 2024 16:26:14 GMT -5
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Feb 7, 2024 7:54:59 GMT -5
What's the correct term for sex between transgender dwarfs?
Microtransaction
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Feb 7, 2024 8:02:37 GMT -5
White guys have trouble finding the clitoris.
It's not our fault though, we just don't belong in the Hood.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Feb 14, 2024 15:33:37 GMT -5
Today’s Ash Wednesday. I’ve decided to give up bad grammar for lended.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Feb 22, 2024 7:27:43 GMT -5
How did the dinosaurs pay their bills?
Tyrannosaurus checks
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Post by Lurky McLurk on Feb 25, 2024 15:04:07 GMT -5
I caught my wife having sex with her fitness instructor.
I told her it wasn't working out.
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Post by Ben Grimm on Feb 25, 2024 15:05:23 GMT -5
You never see really good camouflage anymore.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Feb 25, 2024 15:43:38 GMT -5
Had my first gig last night. One of the other acts could see I was nervous, so he said, ‘Just go out there and be yourself.’ I’m an impressionist.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Feb 28, 2024 8:26:48 GMT -5
I have a Russian friend who is a sound technician.
And a Czech one, too. A Czech one, too.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Mar 2, 2024 15:43:29 GMT -5
It’s been six months since I joined the gym, and I still haven’t lost any weight. So tomorrow I’m going there in person to see what the problem is.
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Post by Dr. Rumak on Mar 13, 2024 20:42:42 GMT -5
My uncle adopted some puppies and named them Rolex and Timex. He's hoping they will be good watch dogs.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Mar 20, 2024 10:04:29 GMT -5
My new stair lift is driving me up the wall.
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Dellarigg
AV Clubber
This is a public service announcement - with guitars
Posts: 7,634
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Post by Dellarigg on Mar 29, 2024 14:58:12 GMT -5
My wife just caught me in bed with an optical illusion. I told her, ‘This isn’t what it looks like.’
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Apr 3, 2024 2:47:39 GMT -5
Why is "dark" spelled with a k?
Because you can't see in the dark.
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Apr 3, 2024 2:52:29 GMT -5
How do non-binary persons kill people?
They/Them
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Tellyfier
TI Pariah
Unwarned and dangerous
Posts: 2,552
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Post by Tellyfier on Apr 3, 2024 3:38:38 GMT -5
What's worse than going down on your Grandma?
Hitting your head on the coffin lid on the way back up.
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Post by William T. Goat, Esq. on Apr 4, 2024 18:26:09 GMT -5
How do non-binary persons kill people? They/Them |
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Post by ganews on Apr 5, 2024 17:49:58 GMT -5
Be careful with the eclipse on Monday. There are often so many people suffering retinal damage during these events that there's now an online resource for folks with damaged retinas.
It's a site for sore eyes.
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Post by Celebith on Apr 10, 2024 23:52:05 GMT -5
Not really a joke, but one of the on-post restaurants is doing a May the 4th event with Boba Fettucini as the main entree.
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Post by Celebith on Apr 16, 2024 0:05:08 GMT -5
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You strain out the fruit pulp after the initial cooking when you're making jelly.
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